strugglepants

Mommy-isms

2009-09-17T13:15:00.006-04:00

In my 8 plus weeks of being a Mom, I have come to learn some of the rites of passage that I never even knew existed.

- When out in public, there seems to be some code to say hello to fellow mothers - I frequently get smiles or nods from other moms that I have never received before (at first, I found myself turning to look behind me to see who the other person was smiling at...). Its sort of like the Jeep community (which I must admit I think is sort of lame - though I LOVE Jeeps!). Other mothers smile at each other, acknowledging that we have this common denominator.

- My "denominator" is cuter than any other denominator out there. No contest. (There could be the world's most beautiful child in the other mother's arms/carriage/cart, and my Lilly will STILL be cuter.)

- I am still not okay with the whole breastfeeding in public thing. I have one of those fantastic tent thingies and still... I don't want to make people uncomfortable. It doesn't weird me out to see other moms doing it but I know some people have a tough time with it so I don't want to disrupt their outting.

- People love to offer their opinions, suggestions, or their hand and sometimes, it is unwelcome and borderline inappropriate. Appropriate: Today a woman offered to help me with my groceries - I was quite capable and so I respectfully declined... assuring her I have learned to manage. It was very sweet. Inappropriate: last week, I was at the grocery store with Lilly in the Bjorn. She LOVES the Bjorn and almost immediately falls asleep in the thing. Its great for shopping because I can take my time knowing she is content as can be. However, another shopper thought she looked too content and came rushing over to me to make sure the baby was alive. Seriously! After assuring her that I can handle the well being of my own child, she was on her merry way... but I was stewing. I appreciate her concern but do I look inept? Would I not know if my baby were alive when strapped as tight as can be to my body? I am sure it was intended to be kind but it came off entirely wrong. And while shopping, someone (little old women especially) always comments on how she must be so cold. If I let them touch her (keep your grubby hands off!), they would feel how warm she actually is. Some people.

- Speaking of grubby... I have come to learn that some moms are more neurotic than others. I am in the not too neurotic camp. Gone are the days that everyone has to sterlize fingertip to elbow before they come near the baby. I am not exactly dipping her in the germ pool but I am a believer that kids need to build their immune systems so you can't keep them in a bubble. A squirt of purell and we're good to go.

In other news...
- BIG NEWS: I am running again. It ain't pretty and it ain't easy but I am determined. I am a bit nervous as to how I will keep it up once I go back to work (4 weeks, gulp!) because I imagine I won't want to take an hour out of my evening to run when I could spend it with my litte puka. Perhaps investing in a treadmill is in my near future.

- Running after pregnancy is like starting all over again. SLOW AND STEADY. And... I want to have a tee shirt made that says "Don't judge me; I just gave birth!" because I know there are runners driving by me (or passing by me on foot) that are thinking "Man, she looks like she is about to keel over!". But hey, I AM OUT THERE DOING IT and before you know it, I am going to be a runner again.

I leave you with this...
Lilly watching her boy Brady... the girl has good taste (in teams AND men)!

On Motherhood

2009-09-08T08:46:00.000-04:00

I was made for motherhood. Naturally. I suppose all women are but really, I've never felt more suited for a job than I do being a mom. Its the most fulfilling experience ever.

Before I had Lillian, everyone kept telling me that parenthood was an indescribable feeling... and its absolutely true. No one could ever prepare me for how much I would love the little girl in my life. There are no words big enough to capture how I feel about her. She is everything... simply everything. Love, devotion, admiration, adoration, infatuation... I love her larger than any of that.

Not to mention, Lilly has been an absolutely amazing baby from the start. She has the sweetest disposition and really only fusses when necessary (hungry, tired, dirty diaper). Generally, she just chills. AND we feel so fortunate to be blessed with a baby who likes to sleep 4-6 hours through the night and will occasionally go a full 6-8 hour stretch. Its been like this since night 2 (night 1 was ROUGH!) and I've never had to get up more than once per night with her since (knock on wood!). So parenthood has been quite easy on me - from my amazing pregnancy to a relatively easy delivery (despite the longass induction, the actual pushing part was a breeze) to now, life with an awesome 7 week old - I am LOVING life more than I ever imagined.

We are in our new house - our very own home - and are living amongst a complete kitchen remodel... and a million boxes. But, life couldn't be better! I am starting to get back into the fitness groove! We've been walking nearly everyday (sometimes twice!) and I am feeling awesome. I just can't wait to get out and run one of these days! Our new neighborhood has a running group that runs together 3 times per week... I am so psyched!

While it may seem that I've abandoned my blog all together, I have actually been spending some of my time on a different track. See... we're not all that comfortable unleashing photos and videos of our little one on the mass interwebs so we've started a password protected blog to keep a log of Lilly's daily antics. But, I plan to keep up over here on the motherhood aspects... because, well, this is my zone and I have a feeling that I won't have many spaces I can call my own in a few months! I'll throw in the occasional Lilly picture here and there. ;) Like here...

Meanwhile, the baby is hungry... motherhood calls...

A Mini Lil' Update

2009-07-27T15:41:00.004-04:00

The Baby
Lilly is doing awesome - she scored 9/9 on her APGAR and has been perfect from the start. She's extremely alert and spends a lot of her awake time just looking around, soaking in whatever blobs she can see. She LOVES Daddy's voice and will swivel her head in whatever direction she hears it. Its awesome to think that after all of those special conversations that Kevin had with her while she was in the belly... she actually recognizes this voice. She's feeding (and pooping!) like a champ and has the hang of this whole breastfeeding thing (most babies lose weight when they come home, Lilly has GAINED! GO baby!). She's also really loving her special moments with her new family and friends. She's amazingly precious.

Birth Story (Abridged... I will update on the full story at some point... its worth the wait!))
Though 13 days overdue, the birth was beautiful and worth every second of those 41 weeks and 6 days of pregnancy. Labor was 35 hours of "waiting" (the induction) and 1 hour of pushing... but once we finally got to the pushing, it was a breeze (thanks to my little friend EPIDURAL!). As soon as Lilly was born, they placed her on my chest and I immediately fell in love through my tear filled eyes. Kevin cut the cord and our family began...

(There's a lot more to that story but I'll spare the gory details... for now!)

New Parents!
I, the Mom, am doing great recovering from the labor and delivery aspect. Once we got to the actual delivery part, it was a relatively "easy" experience... and the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. I am pretty wiped out but absolutely smitten with Lilly. I never knew I could love anything so much. I can't give her enough kisses or snuggle her any less... pure, unconditional love.

Kev, the Dad, is doing awesome. He was a super star partner, coach, and Daddy through it all (He even managed to sleep relatively comfortably on the "bed" they provide to coaches in the hospital!). I would've melted without him and can't say enough about how great he was for me. AND, he managed to survive all of the potentially husband-wife "scarring" moments unscathed, and possibly loving me even more on the flip side. As for his Daddy skills... I am so proud to be his wife. He and Lilly are bonding so sweetly and he has taken to fatherhood like nothing I ever imagined. Diapers? NO PROBLEM! (And, I am not talking #1 either!) Spitting up? He's got it covered... all over himself. Smothering her with kisses and hugs? CONSTANTLY!

We're all so glad to be home to start our amazing journey together as a family.

Lillian Jean

2009-07-23T22:10:00.004-04:00

She's here!!!

Our beautiful Lillian Jean made her debut on July 21st at 7:47am, weighing in at an impressive 8lbs, 8oz.

She is perfect - healthy, gorgeous and extraordinary!

We're finally home from the hospital and we're all getting adjusted and recovering.

The story is long and beautiful... but sleep is calling for me. "Sleep when the baby sleeps" is a motto I am trying to live by so it doesn't leave much time for playing online.

D Day - The Time Has Come!

2009-07-19T10:01:00.007-04:00

Today marks the last day that my little chica will be IN my belly. We head to the hospital tonight to start the induction process.

The time is finally here.

Whoa.

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A couple of days ago, I looked at the hub and said... "You do realize that on Saturday and Sunday, I am going to be FREAKING out?". He laughed and acknowledged that he probably would be too. Well, nothing has gone according to how we've envisioned - neither of us are freaking out AT ALL. Actually, right now, the hub is outside playing with the pup and I am sitting inside, relaxing with my Mom (and blogging, naturally). There are a few things I want to do before departing for the hospital but mostly, I am content with just chilling.

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My bags are packed, the camera is charged, and we are just ready.

Whoa.

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In the last week or so, the hub has found himself singing some old school songs that are very easily translated to a labor & delivery room; however, I might strangle him if he tries to sing one of them during OUR labor & delivery. The songs include:
-> Push It by Salt N Pepa
-> Good Vibrations by Marky Mark
-> Dazzey Duks by Duice (which includes the lyrics, "Come on baby...")

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Throughout my pregnancy, the hub and I have found ourselves having uncontrollable laughing fits at the most inopportune times. The first and most notable was during our birthing class. The instructor was having us do some relaxation breathing and we were sitting on the floor and I was leaning/laying back against the hub - with him supporting me and his hands near my belly. The room was astoundingly quiet... EXCEPT for my incredibly loud stomach which proceeded to gurgle and rumble. It can be somewhat embarassing when your stomach growls but I felt it was even more awkward at a million months pregnant! So, not being able to control my apparent insatiable hunger sent us into a fit of laughter... which mustn't have been very relaxing for our classmates but we were 100% unable to control ourselves. And you know when you're not SUPPOSED to laugh, that's when you laugh the hardest? Yea, that was us. Tears streaming down our faces and just when you think you've got yourself under control, the hub let out a stifled snickered that sent me rolling again! It got to the point where the instructor came over and "jokingly" asked us if we needed a moment in the hallway. WHOOPS!!

The next fit of laughter came during my non-stress test on Tuesday. I had just gotten all hooked up to the monitors and the nurse left us be. The hub was sitting at my feet and he was just about to take off his sweatshirt... except his beard got stuck in the zipper which I found to be hysterical... his head was forceably cocked sideways and he was STUCK. We both erupted. Laughing while connected to all sorts of sound and contraction monitors... NOT the best idea. It sent the monitor into a tizzy and it sounded like I had a bowl full of jelly... which sent us spiraling further into our fit. I then had to explain to the nurse that the off the chart readings she was assessing was NOT anything to be concerned with. Good times!

The most recent fit came at our last appointment on Thursday right after my "exam". I'll spare you the details of WHY I was laughing but let me just say the doctor went places I did not think were relevant to this whole process. Anyway, as soon as she left the room, I relayed the info to the hub and started hysterically laughing. We were trying to be relatively quiet with this fit because we knew the doc was right outside the room writing up our "induction" orders... but it took a good 5 minutes for me to regain my composure. Phewy.

I am hoping that tonight and tomorrow, in times of pain and frustration and exhaustion, I can relive or at least recollect some of these finer moments that we've shared during pregnancy.

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Speaking of laughter, has everyone seen this little video?

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With that, my dear blog friends, I am logging off until this baby makes her long-awaited debut. Its been a beautiful journey and I can only hope for an equally beautiful birth experience, with my amazing hub... the soon-to-be father of our baby girl.

Catch you on the flip side!

41+ Weeks... Going the Distance

2009-07-17T11:51:00.004-04:00

Obviously, the title indicates that I am still "with child"... as in WITH HER FINE AND FREAKING DANDY IN MY BELLY!

We're at 41 weeks and 2 days, 9 days past the due date. You'd think that I would be completely miserable and cynical and hating the world. You'd think that and everyone expects that... however, the truth is quite the contrary.

Actually, I am doing very well.

I'll be the first to admit... when my due date came and went with no sign of this baby making her debut, I was quite frustrated. And after my appointment on Tuesday (where I had a non-stress test, an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid level, and met with the midwife), I was deflated. The tests all indicated the baby was absolutely perfect (obviously) and I was SO excited about that. But the midwife basically told me that I hadn't made any progress (in dilation and effacement), and that upset me. I left the office nearly in tears, just exhausted and frustrated.

But - within minutes of driving out of the parking lot, next to my extremely supportive and optimistic husband, my smile came back... and it hasn't left since. I can't explain it. I am not sure what happened but whatever it was, I am NOT complaining because it was just the attitude adjustment I needed to get me through this week.

This morning we were back at the doctor's for another round of the same tests... which the baby aced, of course. The doctor was very optimistic about the possibility that I could go very soon... but, in the event that I don't go, she won't let me go past Monday.

So that is where we are now. This little kiddo has 48 hours to show up on her own. If she does not come by Sunday, we will be heading to the hospital that night to start the induction process. And, she'll be here by MONDAY.

I'm gonna be a Momma in a really short amount of time. Holy moly. Holy moly. Holy freaking moly.

I am so excited, content, and ready to meet my beautiful little baby.

41 Weeks - Seriously... SERIOUSLY

2009-07-15T10:48:00.007-04:00

For all of my friends, family, acquaintances, and you - YES, I AM STILL PREGNANT!

I appreciate all of the phone calls, text messages, emails, facebook messages, words of encouragement and advice. Clearly, its out of our control and this little chica is taking her sweet time to grace us with her presence (showing us who's boss already)! I can't help but love her for being a stubborn little stinker; and kudos to me for being a super duper preggo - I was made for this job.

In reality - its getting hard to be suzy optimist. Not because I don't trust the natural process... its just... well, here's is the rundown of what the last 4 weeks have been like. (Sharing this will help YOU understand what I am going through and since that is pretty irrelevant, it will at least give me peace of mind.)

"They" tell you at about 37 weeks that it could happen at "any minute" and so you then spend EVERY minute consumed with excitement and anticipation - hanging on every twinge of pain or discomfort, wondering if its a precursor to the big dance.

To no avail.

Then your due date approaches and you think, "I'm NOT going to be one of the majority that goes past her due date - heck, maybe I'll beat the odds and go ON my due date!".

The due date comes. The due date goes. You're overcome with a bit of disappointment, watching the hours tick by, feeling nothing short of fabulous. You consider, "Maybe feeling so good IS a sign that labor is around the corner?".

Keep dreaming. Feeling good is a sign of FEELING GOOD. And rumor has it - labor does NOT feel good (I'll let you know the truth... if I ever get to go through it).

The hours and days after your due date creep by. You begin to wonder if you'll EVER deliver this child. Clearly you know that it has to happen at some point but with each minute passing, you become more insanely jaded and more anxious than you ever thought humanly possible. People try to encourage you by saying "Honey, most first time mothers deliver late... blah blah blah". You appreciate their consideration in trying to make you feel better but you quickly remind yourself that THEY are not the heffalump who is a million months pregnant IN JULY.

The words of wisdom evaporate into thin air, along with the days following your due date.

It gets to be a week. You've been back to the doctor for them to tell you, "FORTUNATELY, the baby is healthy as can be and all of her vitals are in check... which means, we will give it more time.". You're elated to hear that the baby is healthy... TRULY. But the "more time" comment practically sends you into tears. You're conflicted because you really don't want to face an induction but you are just SO SO SO ready for this to happen and there is nothing you can do to speed up the process.

You leave the doctor's somewhat disappointed. Your husband is the most supportive he can be - treading lightly between being the annoying overly optimistic dad-to-be who isn't physically carrying the little pookie bear while offering his shoulder to whine on. He then makes a remarkably good suggestion to buy you a milkshake and take you to the park for lunch.

This really changes your outlook on the state of affairs. You think, "When baby comes, milkshakes are going to be few and far between and more importantly... sunny days spent lounging in the park with just your (super duper handsome) husband will be nearly non-existent.

The milkshake/park combo is just the smile inducer you needed.

You enter 42 weeks rejuvenated and with a newfound appreciation for YOURSELF. You begin to convince yourself that you might actually be SuperWoman... because what woman goes into her nearly 10th month of pregnancy and is still active as can be, smiling all the day, and sleeping nearly all the night? Its just not humanly possible so evidently, you are superhuman.

You then experience what you think might be your first REAL contraction and are smacked with the reality of "holycrapIactuallyhavetogetthisbabyOUTofme" and it makes you feel lightheaded and woozy and like you might just WANT to be pregnant forever. The contraction subsides, without reappearing. You spend the next 2 hours waiting for something to happen. The hours pass. The night passes. You wake up the next day feeling even better than the day before... firmly placing your feet on the floor... and starting yet another day of waiting.

... and that my friends is where I am.

UPDATE: The baby-in-utero widget thing on the sidebar of my blog... is now EMPTY... as in there is NO more baby-in-utero. Let's pray the power of suggestion works. Otherwise, that is just creepy (well, it IS sort of creepy anyhow)!

Who do these "old wives" think they are!?

2009-07-11T16:58:00.002-04:00

I'm pretty much on the edge of my seat and totally 100% preoccupied with the thought of this baby's arrival. Up until about Thursday, I was content with the whole "she'll come when she's ready!" philosophy. But I am getting increasingly impatient with each passing hour. I just want to meet her already.

And I really have no indication to believe she plans on making her appearance anytime soon.

With this newfound anxiousness, I've resorted to trying to coax the little babe out. "How?" you ask... well, there are a number of somewhat homeopathic remedies cascading various websites, passed down from mothers to mothers-to-be for generations and generations. All I've got to say is that I've tried nearly all of the tricks in the book (except Castor oil and we're not going there) to no avail. From the foods (pineapple, spicy, red leaf tea, ginger snaps, etc.) to the motion (walking, yoga poses, bouncing on the yoga ball, bumpy car rides, etc.) - been there, done that.

SO HEY, OLD WIVES - I AM STILL PREGNANT! Now what?

0 Days Left (or so "they" say)

2009-07-08T13:44:00.003-04:00

That sort of creepy little ticker widget on the sidebar of my blog indicates that there are 0 Days left until my little chica is due. BabyCenter.com updates now point to me being the mother of a newborn. My measurements and stats from yesterday's OB appointment point to the fact that this baby is DUE.

And guess what? She is NOT here yet.

Actually, as hard as it may be to believe... I am doing okay with the waiting. People keep expecting me to be on the edge of my seat, impatient as can be (which is sort of annoying in and of itself). But, really - I am okay. If she needs to stay in there for a little while longer, so be it. Forgive the obvious statement but, once she is here, she is HERE FOREVER. So I am really trying to appreciate this time as much as I can. Fortunately, I am very comfortable - I am not super ginormous, sleep deprived, or over worked so life is pretty chill right now. And - Mother Nature, God bless her, has been very forgiving with heat and humidity.

So for all inquiring minds - yes, I am STILL pregnant. And I know, I know, I know! Babies rarely come on their due date and more often in first pregnancies, they come PAST the due date! Thanks for the encouragement but like I said - I am OK with this.

Don't get me wrong - I am SO excited to meet my little baby and am truly ready for that day to come. I want to kiss her and hug her and love her and share her with our family and friends.

I really can't wait... but I will.

39 Weeks - Alright Already...

2009-07-05T09:18:00.005-04:00

I am not getting impatient... I just want the record to show that - I AM READY!!!! Here's what's been going on:

-> 10 weeks ago, I wasn't sure I'd ever say that. We had so much to accomplish in house, work, and baby getting ready duties. And - we are 100% there. Hallelujah.

-> My Mom came up from FLA yesterday for the arrival of her youngest grandchild... so now we're all just sort of waiting.

-> Assuming that nothing "happens" today, I will be working from home this week. My manager and company are being super flexible with my scenario and I am grateful... frankly, I don't think anyone wants to deal with me going into labor at the office. That would just be crazy drama. So, I am home for the remainder of my pregnancy which is very comforting as the hub works less than 15 minutes from home.

-> My brother and sister in law welcomed their second child on July 1st (1 day before the due date). It's a 7lb 15oz BOY and he is absolutely adorable. He joins his big brother and represents the youngest baby in our family... TO DATE!

-> Speaking of BOYS - I keep reading on BabyCenter.com about all these women who were told via ultrasound that they were having girls but ended up having boys. CRAZINESS. So - I had a dream the other night that our little chica was a boy and I told the doctors "No she's not, I have WAY too many dresses for a boy!". Clearly my priorities were in order in my dream. HAH! I am not REALLY worried about this actually happening as we had 2 ultrasounds confirming her sex and the technician used some anatomical language that I am pretty sure only pertains to females. I'll leave it at that!!

I'm hopeful that THIS will be the week... as I am 39 weeks and 4 days right now... 3 days to the DUE date. COME ON LITTLE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!

38 Weeks - Anticipation

2009-06-28T05:09:00.003-04:00

Let me start by noting that it is currently 5:10am EST and I am sitting, in the dark, in my living room with Popeye (the ONLY thing remotely entertaining on TV) quietly musing in the background. The birds are chirping. Daylight is starting to break. The roosters at the farm next door are crowing. The hub and pooch are fast asleep, snuggled upstairs. And, here I sit, wide awake... as I have been since 4am, for the 3rd morning in a row. I'm not complaining - I actually sort of like this little reprieve from tossing and turning, which is becoming increasingly difficult with the ginormo belly.

Week 38 marks the beginning of my most anxious phase, I suppose. I am still quite content with my little chica being IN the womb, as noticeably uncomfortable as it is getting (to walk, lay, sleep, eat, etc). But, with her arrival possible at any moment, I have become a bit preoccupied with THAT whole concept. Its pretty much the only thing I can think about and thank goodness that I am currently still working because if I had anymore time on my hands, I'd go bonkers. Working is a needed distraction.

Don't get me wrong - not sleeping a full night and working a full day is getting increasingly difficult. And - I am petrified that my water is going to break on the job. Supposedly, that is really uncommon so I'm just hoping, I'm not the exception.

My Mom is coming up on July 4th to stay with us and help with the whole new baby adjustment phase for a few weeks. I'm grateful that she is able to do this and I am so excited to share this time with her... but the fact that she is coming in less than a week to help her baby with her baby is yet another reality check that holymolyimhavingababy!

Nesting is in FULL swing. I think I'm normally a nester - as I really thrive on maintaining a clean house - but nothing can quite compare to pregnancy nesting. We are what I like to call "catalog clean" (it almost looks too clean to be lived in) up in here. The hub even has a touch of nesting going on. He's been awesome keeping up with the laundry, unloading the dishwasher, and keeping us organized. I've been manning the vacuuming (practically following our 90 lb shedding lab around with the vacuum, which she just loves!), bathroom cleaning and baby product sterilization... among many other random tasks such as steam cleaning carpets, cleaning the microwave, and washing the floors. I know once the baby arrives keeping this pace is going to be impossible but it comforts me to know that we'll be bringing her into a seriously clean home!

For now, I'm waiting for my little family to arise so I can run the vacuum and get to my day of relaxing! Who knows - this could be our last Sunday as a family of 2.5!?

36-37 Weeks - Full Term

2009-06-21T20:13:00.004-04:00

Hello sleepness nights. Hello insatiable thirst. Hello nesting. Hello anxiousness. Hello babyicantwaittomeetyou! Hello to the last few weeks of my pregnancy.

Hello.

Per the usual, time is flying and I feel like baby is going to be here before we know it. Being over 37 weeks pregnant, I am considered "full term", which means if our little chica were born today, she'd make her entrance with little to no complication... opposed to the preterm babies who sometimes have to rely on intervention to get their little bodies up to "real world" speed.

Its crazy to consider the fact that there is a 6.5-7 lb little being in my belly. A real live person! Not that she let's me forget it! She's been doing her usual belly dancing and keeping me entirely intrigued with each passing jab, kick, roll, bump, flutter... or hiccup! Hiccups are new to me - I've heard that many babies experience hiccups throughout their time in the womb but I've never been able to pinpoint our baby going through that... until this past week. One night around 3am, I felt this rhythmic pulse in my belly. It was a little jolt every 10-15 seconds and it carried on for quite a few minutes... I eventually fell back to sleep but I realized that it must be hiccups. Since that episode, I've experienced it 3 more times and while I feel so bad for her (I can't stand having the hiccups), it humanizes her and gives me sort of an "aww, my little baby" sensation that I love.

The hub and I have finished 95% of the chores that we wanted to accomplish before the baby's arrival and we're now really focused on spending these next 2-3 (or 4... but I hope not!) weeks relaxing a bit and hanging out with each other. With the due date looming about 2.5 weeks out, life as we have known it is very close to changing (in the most beautiful way possible) forever.

I've been in a bit of reflection this past week - looking at my life from the outside in, assessing this whole pregnancy journey. I'll spare you the gory, sappy details and just say that seriously, I could be the poster child for pregnancy. I have loved nearly every minute of this ride. I've coasted through the past 37 weeks with little to no pain or interference with my "normal" life. As I've said all along, I am 100% grateful because I know it is not as easy for other moms-to-be and chances are, my next go-round won't be as easy. But - I've found it somewhat bazaar that I experienced such little impact from the pregnancy (aside from the ginormo belly and weight gain and incessant peeing and sleeplessness). I have not had one ravenous craving... granted, I've had my share of treats and indulging... but there has never been a 3am moment that I've sent the hub out to Stop & Shop because "I MUST HAVE XYZ NOW!". I was strangely looking forward to that. I also have not experienced any food aversions, like so many preggos go through. I've pretty much maintained the same diet that I have in regular life... with a little extra cushion here and there (I'm talking to you, mocha milkshake!). The other thing that I haven't experienced is the increased sense of smell... NOT that I am complaining because sharing a house with a wonderfully healthy man and dog, I'd rather NOT smell anything stronger than I already do.

The little woman is due on July 8th. My prediction is July 5th (perhaps wishful thinking that she is not late!) weighing in at 8 lbs 3 oz. After such a beautiful and perfect pregnancy, what I can only hope for now is a healthy and wonderful birth experience. (I'd say painless but something tells me I am in for a dose of pain... though, I am opting for the epidural!)

I am on the edge of my seat, carefully assessing every contraction, every gas bubble, and every movement the baby makes. Its all very exciting. And, believe it or not, we are ready.

Stay tuned...

31-35 Weeks - Fruit of the Womb

2009-05-31T20:53:00.001-04:00

From four navel oranges to a large jicama (a wha?) to a pineapple to a cantaloupe to now, a honeydew melon, my little chica has grown leaps and bounds since my last update and... holy crap. I am a serious blog slacker. Between work demanding of all of my daytime energy and all this "getting ready" for baby, I just have not had the time nor will to spend anytime online. But - I think about blogland often and I'm damnwell determined to keep some sort of log on this pregnancy stuff. After all, I want to look back next time around to see how "easy" I had it!

Really though, I am a case study for the perfect pregnancy. I feel really bad for all the women out there who have not had such an easy time and believe me, I AM extremely fortunate. I've been comfortable 95% of the time and I have not thrown up ONCE. Aside from the non-stop urge to pee, some icky sinus issues, this protruding belly, and the now incessant kicks / flips / jabs going on down there, I am virtually symptom free. Sometimes, its almost possible for me to imagine myself NOT pregnant... not that I ever do that because I am absolutely infatuated with this little baby girl in my belly. My only hope now is that I won't have to pay in labor because I hace had such a glorious 9 months!

I am obsessed with baby movements... and she feeds my cravings quite often. She's probably around 5.5-6 pounds right now so her former little wave like movements have become much more pronounced and impossible to ignore. At any given moment, I am known to stop dead in my tracks to patiently watch my belly for pokes and rolls of baby underneath my skin. It is totally wild and NEVER gets old.

We had our baby shower a couple weeks ago and it was absolutely amazing. I have the most amazing family and friends who went above and beyond the "normal" shower duties to create an adorable and classy affair. They stuck with my jungle animal theme (MONKEYS!) and created a little safari event... as displayed below:

My beautiful 3 tiered, monkey cake! AND, it tasted as good as it looked!

A diaper cake... not edible but equally adorable!

Centerpieces... stuffed jungle animals for our baby!

Clotheslines full of the most adorable little outfits!

The Baby Daddy made an appearance... at the end, of course!

Not to mention, the loot... holy moly. I was opening for hours, it seemed. We are just now coming out from under the pile of goods.

I cannot express enough gratitude to my Mom, sister in-law, mother in-law, and BFFs for putting together such a PERFECT and humbling baby shower. I am so blessed. And I love you all.

The past 3 weekends have been devoted to all things baby - laundry, organizing, assembling, and shopping (or making returns) have been our favorite hobbies as of late. But - we are nearly finished. Last things include: cleaning our cars, getting last minute baby room goods, assembling the pack n' play and bouncy seat, finishing the baby room artwork, and packing the hospital bags.

Speaking of, I've been sort of stressed out about what to pack. I am a prepared queen - I don't like to be without anything that I might need or want. In the same sense, I am trying NOT to pack a suitcase's worth of stuff because I know I'll have no energy to unpack or deal with it once we're home. I'll post my list once I finalize it... it may help some other mommies to be out there but mostly, it will help me make some decisions about what to bring and what NOT to bring.

We attended an all day childbirth class this weekend, held at our hospital of choice. I had heard a range of reports on this class and none were all that positive so the hub and I had low expectations when we went into it. But - I must say, I am very happy we attended and I feel that I learned a lot more about what is going to go down in delivery... and NOT in a bad way. It did get a little weird at the end when they turned the lights off and had us all in "labor rehearsal". Really... I just don't feel its something you can "pretend". In any case, another notch on our belt of becoming informed parents.

So - that's about the gist of it, in long-winded, overdue fashion! We are EXTREMELY excited about how close we are... its hard to believe we'll be meeting our baby girl in just 5 weeks!

word to your mother (...yo!)

2009-05-10T17:59:00.004-04:00

For the past 7 years, I've had the luxury of being a quasi-Mom to my lovely and insanely adorable puppy, Nala the Dog. Every year, on Mom's Day, she greets me with the best doggie kisses ever... and this is usually followed by a very special and personalized greeting card, that she picked out herself, of course!

I actually didn't think much of Mom's Day this year, except of course for honoring our Moms and friends with children. That goes without saying. But from a personal perspective, it wasn't about me, at all (for once, right?). That is until yesterday morning, after collecting the mail, I was greeted with a handful of Hallmark logos. At first I thought that perhaps people were wishing me a belated birthday or a premature Happy Shower gift. But, after opening the first card, I realized... I am no longer an innocent bystander of Mother's Day; I am very much an active participant!

Holy crap.

The cards I received were adorable, appropriately calling out my Mommy-to-Be status without diminishing the fact that my baby is not yet here to acknowledge me herself.

It was a great reality check - oozing of holycowohmygoshimamom and pleasepassthetissues.

And this morning, along with the standard Nala kisses, a warm greeting from my "first born", there was a beautiful card from my hub... the father of our little girl. I won't divulge the contents of such a sentimental card but I will just say it was definitely more of a pleasepassthetissues moment than anything else. I am so blessed.

While I didn't get to see my own Mama on her special day, I enjoyed newfound ownership in calling this "my day".

But, Mom... I miss you like crazy and I can't wait for your visit. I hope you enjoyed your day. I love you very much. And Barb (my most gracious and wonderful, Mother in-law), I am so glad we got to honor you today and to spend the morning with you. I love you. (And, I love that you made me the most delicious chocolate covered strawberries... which I am noshing on right now!)

To all the Moms and Mommies-to-Be out there... I wish you a truly Happy Mother's Day.

30 Weeks - Bump Bumps

2009-05-04T21:58:00.007-04:00

According to BabyCenter, my little chica is about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (though I am guessing more since she was ahead of the curve at week 27). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face.

What's up this week:
-> Or should I say what is OUT this week? My belly, that is what! The most major development this week is in regards to my underestimation of the size of my belly. I have found that I continue to try to fit into spaces that my pre-preggo self would have no problem fitting into but my mid-preggo self is too plump to fit. The belly just gets in the way. All. Of. The. Time. For instance, today at lunch, I pulled my chair out from the table to a distance I expected would be plenty large enough for me and my bump to sit comfortably. It took for my belly to LAND on the table for me to realize that I needed a bit more "breathing room". And then tonight at the grocery store, I went to push the grocery cart and walked right into the front bar thing... belly first. It just seems that this bump is becoming quite pronounced and commanding.

-> Baby's movements are stronger than ever. I haven't had any of those "painful" jabs or kicks just yet but I've definitely had some uncomfortable moments where she's sticking a body part into my ribs or side and I've sort of lost my breath. Even still, it never ceases to fascinate me. I absolutely LOVE feeling her wiggle around.

-> I had my first "shower" experience this weekend. In my department at my company, there are four pregnant chickadees. (Yes, four. And there are only about forty people in the department. "Don't drink the water" is frequently heard around the office.) To celebrate the upcoming births of all of these bambinos, a couple of the ladies hosted a shower. In addition to the great spread of food, they took a collection and got us all gift cards to help send us on our way into motherhood. It was super sweet and very humbling.

-> House hunting is stale - we've found the neighborhood that we want but there isn't anything listed that we're interested in at the moment. So its been a game of patience for us. And, I don't know if you know this... but I AM HAVING A FREAKING BABY IN TWO MONTHS so patience is NOT my strong suit right now.

-> Last but not least... baby has a name. While I love calling her Blueberry and my little chica and baby and bambino, her Dad and I have finally decided on an actual, legit name...

But don't get your hopes up. We're not sharing her name until her birth. I know it is super annoying but we want to leave some element of surprise for her debut. Rest assured, the name is classic and beautiful and... just perfect. Like her, my little chica.

29 Weeks - Life is Going SO Fast

2009-04-27T20:49:00.004-04:00

This week, it was all about me so in lieu of the run-of-the-mill baby updates, I'm going with a diary of my birthday week.

The down and dirty highlights of my last week:

-> Birthday
-> House hunting
-> Job
-> Birthday
-> Birthday
-> Birthday!!!!!!!!!

To celebrate the Big 3-0, we started Saturday at La Creperie where I enjoyed a nutella and strawberry crepe (with whipped cream). After we ran a few errands, we took the pooch for a long walk in the park... it was absolutely beautiful outside! That night, we had a really nice party with my closest friends. Great food, good beer (for those that drank... I enjoyed my very first non-alcoholic brew!), and amazing company.

The next day started with breakfast with our family at our favorite breakfast "joint". Banana pancakes made my day! My family is too generous... and so loving.

Basically, the birthday festivities lasted the entire weekend. The weather was absolutely gorgeous so when we weren't celebrating my existence, we were playing outside, basking in the sun... covered in SPF 50, of course! My skin may be saved but... my brain is fried.

30 Years Ago Today...

2009-04-24T20:20:00.005-04:00

Thirty years ago my parents were reveling in their last few hours of pre-Sarah life.

I would come to be on April 25, 1979 - and their lives would never be the same.

I don't say that to dramatize or glorify my existence - it's just, as an expectant mother, I can only imagine what those final hours, just before the baby makes her desecent, are like. (Mind you, I was 9lbs 15oz at birth so I am sure my Mom was just dying to get the ginormo watermelon out of her belly... or not!)

Its hard to believe I will enter my thirties in less than 4 hours. I am totally comfortable with leaving my twenties behind, its just, for the most part, I really don't feel a day over 18. OBVIOUSLY, I ~~usually~~ am more mature than a teenager but I feel so young at heart... and I hope that never goes away.

And really, how could I be upset? Look at my life. I have an amazing man as my husband and best friend. I have the most supportive and loving family. I have some seriously sincere and beautiful friends. I have an incredibly loveable, kissable, snuggable pooch. I have a great job and a nice roof over my head. And, I have my health, strength, and intelligence. Could life get much sweeter?

How can I make it better in my next 30 years? I may not know the answer to that question but I am certainly determined to try... I've got this little baby girl in my belly depending on me to do so. And that is the most wonderful birthday present I could ever have dreamed of.

But, if you're wondering what I'd ask for if I didn't have the baby thing going on, I'd love some makeup from Origins, a new black bag, and new sunglasses... please!

28 Weeks - Welcome to the 3rd Trimester!

2009-04-22T20:35:00.001-04:00

Baby is growing rapidly now. This week she weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash... mmmmmm!!!) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. Her muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and her head is getting bigger to accommodate her growing brain (genius!)— which is busy developing billions of neurons. Every day, about 200 milligrams of calcium is deposited into baby's skeleton, which is now hardening. With this rapid growth, it's no surprise that your baby's nutritional needs reach their peak during this trimester. (And so has my ice cream craving!)

We're officially into the 3rd trimester. Two down, one to go. (Holy moly!)

The latest baby craze is that she is known to wake her Dad during the night with her powerhouse kicks! If I am curled up to hub's back, its like clockwork for her - she ALWAYS kicks in this position! Its amazing!!!

Not much else to report... this post is actually a week late and I am due to update on Week 29 today. OOPS! TIME IS FLYING................

I can't believe I am SEVEN months pregnant. SEVEN!!! (Coincidentally, there are seventy seven days left until my due date. Perhaps there is something to Seven as a baby's name... for those Seinfeld lovers out there!)

Last but not least I am GROWING!!!

27 Weeks - Major Updates!

2009-04-09T19:27:00.005-04:00

According to BabyCenter, this week, my little bambina weighs almost 2 pounds (or significantly more... but more on that later!) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers (hopefully not taking after her mother who sucked her thumb until the very day she got braces... at 12 years old). With more brain tissue developing, baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were born now (though Mom and Dad would NOT be capable of functioning yet so please just keep baking, baby!). Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on (I hear its common at like 3am, awesome).

In addition to the baby developments this week, we had a great doctor visit this past Tuesday. I was scheduled for an ultrasound to address the partial placenta previa issue I had been diagnosed with back at Week 18. I was excited to find out if the placenta had corrected itself but I was even more excited to catch one last glimpse of my little chica on the ultrasound screen. Typically, moms-to-be are not given another ultrasound after the anatomy scan (between weeks 18-22) so I was jazzed to see how much she has grown.

And wow has she grown! I asked the ultrasound technician for an estimate on her size and through some measurements (including around her plump little belly) and calculations, she estimated that baby weighs 2 lbs, 6 oz. That's 6 oz ahead of the curve... I don't know why this excites me so much but it does. I think its just that she is getting close to a weight that is almost like newborn size that has me giddy. Because I certainly don't want her to continue growing ahead of the norm because let's just say OUCH. But hub and I are "above average" sized people so I would expect nothing less than a full sized baby.

In addition to her weight estimate, the ultrasound revealed that she is currently breech. NO need to worry about that right now as she has 13 weeks to flip around and I've learned a bunch of prenatal yoga moves to encourage her to flip if it gets down to the wire and she is still breech. (One such yoga move is a headstand against the wall... can't picture doing that at 9 months preggo!)

And the last bit of news on the ultrasound... the placenta has corrected itself and we are good to go! This is very exciting because it limits the possibility that I'll HAVE to have a c-section. Plenty of other things, during labor, can lead to c-section but if the placenta had remained low, it would've been almost a guaranteed c-section.

Good news all around... and this was before we even got to the actual doctor visit.

In my weight check, I weighed...well, let's not go there. Let's just say I've gained 18 lbs which is right in the normal range and I am okay with that. I am a little nervous about the weight gain because I still have 13 weeks to go and I know the pounds will just keep packing and I just don't want to get out of control. (Please don't misinterpret - weight is not really a concern for me - I am of course more concerned about the baby's health but part of me misses the super duper fitness life and I want to be able to get back into it as soon as I can... and I know the more weight I pack, the harder it will be... not that it stops me from eating for 2!)

My blood pressure is staying strong at 110/62. Rocking!

Also at this appointment I had to go through that 1 hour gestational diabetes test. For those that don't know, they make you drink this high sugar concentration syrupy beverage, wait an hour, and then they draw your blood to test your sugar levels. I had heard horror stories about the actual drink - people kept telling me it was nasty and impossible to get down and blah blah blah (people love to tell their horror stories, don't they?) but seriously, it was NOT bad at all. It tasted like a sweetened and flattened Sprite... honestly. I gulped it down in 10 seconds (I "studied" chugging in college)! And then after an hour, I got my blood drawn. They said that the doctor will call me with 24-48 hours if the results indicated a problem; otherwise, no news is good news. Its been over 48 hours and I haven't heard from them so I THINK I am in the clear. Yahoo!!!!!

You might have noticed I did not include BabyCenter's reference to a vegetable or food product this week. Week 27 is cauliflower and frankly, there is nothing cauliflowerish about my baby so that was an intentional omission!

By the way, have you ever searched Google Images for "pregnancy"? Its like a National Geographic portfolio. (Go ahead, you know you want to.)

We're just about out of the 2nd trimester which also means we now move from monthly OB visits to every two weeks... which is crazy! Time is going WAY too fast.

26 Weeks - Cool as a Cucumber

2009-04-02T20:17:00.004-04:00

Baby baby baby, you are growing like crazy! BabyCenter says that the network of nerves in her ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. She may now be able to hear both your voice and your partner's as you chat with each other (or as I serenade her in the shower with various renditions of whatever has been performed on American Idol... because in the shower, I AM the next American Idol). She's inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of her lungs. These so-called breathing movements are also good practice for when she's born and takes that first gulp of air("ghasp!"). And she's continuing to put on baby fat (don't I know it!?). She now weighs about a pound and two-thirds and measures 14 inches (an English hothouse cucumber... whatever the heck that is!) from head to heel.

In parental news... life is still pretty chaotic but man, I feel GREAT. We haven't found a house yet but the job is going awesome and I am sort of just loving life right now. The hub has continued to be my rock and has taken on more household chores and is becoming quite the cook.

I registered us for an all day childbirth class. I have to be honest, I considered NOT doing this class because part of me feels that it might be beneficial for me to NOT KNOW as much as they are going to tell me. I've been handling the "scary stories" really well and I am pretty at ease with the whole concept of what's going to go down. Pain, waiting, pain, waiting, drugs, pain, waiting, exhaustion, nauseau, pooping, pain, etc. I get the gist that it's not all rosie and hunky dory. BUT, do I really need to be reminded over and over again? It IS a hospital, they ARE doctors. How much more do I really need to know? Not to mention, I've heard a lot of people lament that they didn't remember a thing from the class and that they did not use one "hee hee hoo" lamaze breath during their labor. But, being good doobies, we are going to participate.

Anyway - I am behind a week - I actually skipped posting Week 25 and I will eventually do the update but for now, 14 weeks to go!!!!

t minus 100

2009-03-30T19:20:00.010-04:00

That's right. My little chica is due in less than 100 days. That's 2,400 hours or 144,000 seconds. Basically, that is like tomorrow in the realm of how quickly time is flying.

To celebrate the 100 days I have left in my pregnant state, I wanted to share this video. This is from "that blog" that I talked about in "this post". If you're too lazy to click, its the blog about the man (Matt) who lost his wife (Liz) shortly after she delivered their beautiful baby girl (Madeleine).

Just this week, Matt and Madeline celebrated two major milestones: Madeleine's first birthday and the first anniversary of their wife/mom's death. Yes, its terribly tragic and heartwrenching but, its also one of the most refreshing sites that I visit. The overall story obviously breaks my heart... especially since I imagine his relationship with his wife to have been like my marriage is now. Pretty much perfect. But, I love the site because he is powering on and the story of him and his daughter is just incredible. And more importantly, it reminds me on a regular basis of how fortunate I am. Honestly, if I were in his shoes...

Nevermind, I can't and shouldn't even pretend to imagine. It's impossible.

You might wonder why I am sharing this in such a celebratory post, but on a bright note, this video embodies such a beautiful child... so spirited and adorable, clearly created out of love. (And, frankly, it just made me smile thinking about playing in the park with my little chica.)

Cheers to 100 more days of loving life, enjoying pregnancy, and just being us.

(Yes, I realize that I am overdue for my 25 week post. Its coming, I swear!)

case of the crazies

2009-03-26T19:42:00.003-04:00

Thats what I have. I am attributing it to pregnancy but not blaming pregnancy whatsoever - there is a difference. Let's make that clear.

I've taken on a lot in the past 6 months; more than most people take on in a decade, really. Getting pregnant (yay!). Getting laid off while pregnant (boo!). Getting and starting a new job while pregnant (yay... sort of!). And searching for a house while, you guessed it, pregnant (ya... I mean, holyhell what am I doing to myself?). Those right there... those are all life altering instances in time. Each pretty intense and deserving of a lot of emotion and attention. But me? I throw them all into a blender and gulp em down at once.

That's where the crazies come in.

Even though my life has turned in 3 different directions in a whopping 6 months time, it seems like it sort of happened overnight. I woke up today and was putting my makeup on (one downfall of no longer working from home) and I caught my eye. Yes, I caught my OWN eye. Not because I am so fetching... but more because I saw a lot of emotion written on my face. Happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, peace, fear, doubt, uncertainty... it was all there, attempting to hide behind the Bare Escentuals - unsuccesfully.

I stopped for a second to think about all that is going on in my life and I was immediately overwhelmed. Its a lot to think about. Too much to think about. I brushed my teeth and carried on with my "getting ready" process, trying to avoid thinking about it all. I got in the car, turned up my radio and tried to drown out the thoughts, to no avail. I called the hub, who kept me preoccupied for a little while but when we hung up, I still had 25 minutes left in my commute... left in my thoughts.

Right then little baby girl, my little chica started doing little kicks and punches in my belly. And she hasn't been all that active in the past couple of days so at first, I was just thankful to feel her moving around down there. But within a few short seconds, I realized that that is all that matters. She is all that matters. All of this chaos and change and "drama" turning my life upside down... its all because I have this enormous amount of love for this little being that I haven't even met... but I am creating a life for.

She brought me back to non-crazy state and made it all better. (She's so damn cute.)

Moral of the story - I guess sometimes to get rid of the crazies, all I really need is a kick in the gut.

24 Weeks - Sweet Corn

2009-03-22T18:14:00.003-04:00

Experts say my little chica's growing steadily, having gained about 4 ounces since last week. That puts her at just over a pound. (Judging by how much I've grown, I'd say she's more.) Since she's almost a foot long (picture an ear of corn), she cuts a pretty lean figure at this point, but her body is filling out proportionally and she'll soon start to plump up. Her brain is also growing quickly now (she's a genius already), and her taste buds are continuing to develop. Her lungs are developing "branches" of the respiratory "tree" as well as cells that produce surfactant, a substance that will help her air sacs inflate once she hits the outside world. Her skin is still thin and translucent, but that will start to change soon.

In baby changes this week... she's moving like a little wild woman these days and I am feeling her pretty regularly. It's totally amazing.

In Mommy changes this week... I started at the new gig and was truly a rockstar this week. I thought I'd be totally wasted after each day but the days flew by and I was generally a-ok. I got a little cranky towards the end of the week but hub was oh-so accomodating and supportive... as usual.

We are also back on the house hunt. Exciting? Yes! Draining? TERRIBLY! Ideally, we'd like to find a house BEFORE baby arrives... and as much of a buyers' market as it is today, we can't seem to find much that we LOVE. So, while the search process is fun and allows for those fun pipedreams of baby's room here, and master suite there, it's just a little taxing at this point (simultaneous to starting a new job and being 6 months preggo). Fortunately, I have the most amazing husband ever who has committed to doing most of the searching... he weeds through all the crap and only shares the cream of the crop with me.

Hub really makes everything all better... its a pattern in my pregnancy.

Despite the chaos in our lives, I am lucky, I know.

23 Weeks - mango mama!

2009-03-13T14:03:00.011-04:00

I'll get to my baby in a moment. First things first. Holy moly, I am growing! In the first 20 weeks, it was very gradual... but in the past 2 weeks, I feel like I've hit a jackpot of growth. Fortunately, I am really only seeing the swell in my belly area, which encompasses the entire mid section. Obviously, my regular wardrobe is retired for now. (*Sigh*)

In bambina growth... BabyCenter suggests I turn on the radio and sway to the music because her sense of movement is well developed by now and she can feel me dance. Well, lucky (or unlucky) for her, she got a taste of dancing at prenatal yoga this week when the instructor had us do some very hippie-ish (I am sure there is a technical yoga, downward dog type name for it) dancing, swaying side to side, tapping our toes and swinging our arms.

She's now more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound (about as much as a large mango). Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that she hears are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as the dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't phase her when she hears them outside the womb. (Good thing because that whole "nesting" deal has me vacuuming like a champ, which Nala the Dog absolutely HATES!)

Back to me... so I am waiting for this "glow" that I've heard about because I sure don't feel "glowy". Like I've said all along, I feel great, I really do. But glowing? I don't think so. I mean, I am generally all smiles and not much has changed since carrying my little chica. I am still smiley and happy and all that good stuff. But I thought there was supposed to be some magical aura that I give off? Like I'd sprout wings and a halo? (Perhaps I read too much into that?)

What I do feel is a bit waddley. I didn't think that was supposed to happen until after I had a more significant pouch but I definitely have noticed a swagger in my step. I tend to lean back and sway a little more to accomodate the ever growing mid section. And getting up from laying or sitting is already getting slightly challenging. NOT 9 months challenging but I have to sort of rock the momentum to get up. Good times. (I'm going to be a house.)

The hub has finally felt the little one kicking. A couple of days ago, she was going to town in my belly and I walked over to him and placed his hand where I could feel her kicking. And bam, she bonked his palm. He was sort of freaked out at first, which I can totally relate to. It is sort of alien-like to have something protruding out of my body. But then she kicked again and he smiled the biggest smile. I am loving these super cute Dad moments.

Actually, I am loving all of these moments...

what the stars have in store for us

2009-03-11T11:40:00.003-04:00

I am not one to rely on horoscopes as a guide to life, by any means. But, I do check it out here and there and am somewhat a believer in astrology. For what its worth, I have always been nothing but a badass, stubborn Taurus. I fit the role to a T (for Taurus).

In any case, today, while catching up on my week 23 progress (report to come!) on BabyCenter, I stumbled across this gem. Its an explanation of how compatible or relatable parent and child will be, based on their astrological sign. Assuming my little chica arrives on time, she is cued to be a Cancer and so the Taurus parent's (me) and Cancer child's (she) relationship is defined as follows:

A Sensitive Connection
You and your Cancer child both thrive when you feel physically and emotionally secure. You're both oriented toward "home," whatever that means to you: good meals that stick to your ribs, a comfortable couch for snuggling up, or maybe just time spent with family and loved ones. Reading together, playing games, or baking cookies -- this is your idea of a good time together. You like the safety and comfort of your own abode.

As a Taurus parent, you're great at giving your little Cancer the nurturing, affection, and reassurance she needs. Your bond will always be strong because you share such a deep, natural devotion. Where you are practical, your young Cancer is more feeling and emotional. You can teach this sensitive child to trust more in the world around her, so she can let her guard down and enjoy life's simple pleasures.

Clearly, this is speculative and all in good fun but, it is very sweet to envision that our relationship will be so wholesome and warm.

22 Weeks - Squish Squash

2009-03-05T10:15:00.006-05:00

Helloooo to my little chica. The weeks are really flying by and I am growing more attached to you everyday. You are going to be ridiculously loved... you already are.

So at week 22, you are over 11 inches (the length of a spaghetti squash) and almost 1 pound and BabyCenter says, your starting to look like a miniature newborn. (How cute!?) Your lips, eyelids, and eyebrows (hopefully not a uni) are becoming more distinct, and you're even developing tiny tooth buds beneath your gums. Your eyes have formed, but the irises still lack pigment (will you be blue like Dad or brown like Mom?).

Parent Updates
-> Holy movement! Baby Blueberry is kicking around A LOT these days. This week she has been especially active which thrills me. It's absolutely wonderful to feel her in my belly. This morning, as I laid in bed trying to muster up the strength to GET UP, I felt her all scooched over to the left side of my belly. And when I pressed on that spot, I could actually feel her (don't ask me what body part it was because I have absolutely NO idea). Right as I pressed there, she started kicking... which was really cool. It was like we were communicating. And then, I took my hand away and could actually SEE her moving in there. It was very subtle but DEFINITELY her.

-> Registry, registry, registry! Monday was a "snow day" in RI and the hub had the day off of work. Rather than abiding to the weather man's precautions to "stay off the roads", we took the opportunity to hit Babies R Us and register because we knew that the store would be empty... and we have 4-wheel drive. Our hunch was dead on - the store was a ghost town. BUT that was about the only luxury of the experience.

While I had prepared and made lists and researched out the wazoo, I felt completely overwhelmed once inside the store. Bottles and bibs and diapers and towels and car seats and pack n plays... oh my. We managed to get through it and I must commend my husband on his effort and patience. He stuck by me the entire time, scanner gun in hand, offering advice only when I needed it. Yet another shining moment for my rockstar of a husband! (He nearly started to lose it in the "layette" section. But to his credit, I was ridiculously undecisive about onesies, socks, and jammies and I was actually frustrating myself so kudos to the man for not dragging me by my ponytail out of the store.)

When we got home, the first thing I did was jump on Babies R Us.com to analyze our registry from an online perspective. I then spent 3 hours updating, changing, and adding goods. It was an exhausting day. I think we are nearly finished with it but I really need to go over it with a professional (aka a person with small children who has been through this recently) to make sure I have enough of everything.

-> Speaking of shopping! I spent a boat load of moola on maternity clothes from OldNavy.com and Gap.com last night. It killed me to do it because its just such a short term purchase. But naturally, I am growing out of my non-preggo clothes and while I thought I'd be able to get by with baggy sweatshirts and yoga pants, even those are becoming less comfortable and more snug as my belly continues to grow. AND, in wonderful news, I landed a job! So I really have to make sure my wardrobe is somewhat professional (for some reason, I don't think yoga pants and the hub's sweatshirts will be acceptable)!

-> Nala the Dog shows progress! Some good friends came over with their 6 month old baby girl last night. The hub and I both spent a decent amount of time holding her and "cooing" at her and Nala really wanted nothing to do with it all. She was content laying in the living room while we fussed about in the kitchen. It was reassuring. These same friends have lent us a doll that makes baby noises so we can get Nala even more acquainted with the ongoing noises that are going to overtake our lives in just a few short months... four to be exact.

Holy moly... 18 weeks to go!

21 Weeks - What's up Doc?

2009-02-26T09:11:00.002-05:00

You're 21, baby! But don't you dare think about drinking. If Mama's not drinking, NEITHER are you, little chica. And that's the truth because supposedly you are now drinking mass amounts of amniotic fluid which contains all the nutrients from whatever garb I am consuming. You're swallowing for nutrition, hydration and to practice digestion. So if I eat waffles, you eat waffles. I eat pizza, you eat pizza. I eat brussel sprouts, YOU eat brussel sprouts (sorry, one of those cravings!). Right now you're getting Cocoa Pebbles! You're not yet able to pick and choose what to eat and you can't throw your veggies to the dog (though she probably wouldn't eat them anyhow, she much prefers meat!). The good news is that I've been eating a ton of nutrient rich foods (aside from said Cocoa Pebbles) so I know you're growing like a champ down there.

According to BabyCenter, you weigh three-quarters of a pound and are approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. 10 1/2 inches!? That seems totally surreal. That is like a little doll.

How's the Mama?
I am doing very well. Aside from the killer headaches I battled last week, I am feeling fabulous. I actually went to my doctor for the headaches and she prescribed me with Reglan, which is generally used for heartburn and indigestion but has been linked to reduce the symptoms associated with migraines when taken with Tylenol and caffeine. So, she basically told me to take all of the things I've been trying to avoid during pregnancy. I took one dose with 2 Tylenol and 4 oz caffeine and I was cured. She advised me to take a dose every 4-6 hours but once the headache subsided, I put away the drugs. I am really trying to ingest as few "chemicals" as possible. "They" say Tylenol is safe but I'd just prefer to avoid depending on any drugs and have been trying more homeopathic methods... like NAPS!

My sister in law and I had our second prenatal yoga class this week and I thoroughly enjoyed it. In child's pose, I could really feel the baby kicking around in the belly... wonder if that is why they call it child's pose? This particular class was actually more challenging than last week because we had a substitute instructor... whom I sort of wish taught the whole session but I am sure I'll be grateful for less strenuousness as my belly grows.

And the belly IS growing... as YOU can see.

We've started making our baby registry list. I spent three hours on Sunday night going through each category on Babies R Us and marking the brands and products which I like. It is OVERWHELMING to say the least. But thanks to many suggestions from friends and family with experience, I feel like I have a good handle on what we need and what we don't. And, generously, so many people have come out of the woodwork to offer us hand-me-down this and hand-me-down that. We feel so fortunate because while there are certain things that I want to buy new and be able to "choose", there are a number of things (such as activity mats, seats, swings, etc) that are just sort of pointless to register for since the baby grows out of those goods so quickly.

How's the Dad?
He is terrific and still very excited. He's taken a strong initiative with prepping Nala for sisterhood and has her in a "boot camp" of sorts. She's responding quite well.

Other than that, all is well with 19 weeks to go!

For He Who Cares (a Whole Lot About Me!)

2009-02-25T11:56:00.021-05:00

When I think of all the people in my life, I feel fortunate to have so many caring and thoughtful souls surrounding me. This has never been more evident than since I've been pregnant and have become unemployed. People have come out of the woodwork to "check" on me, to offer me maternity clothes, baby goodies, advice, and more.

Just yesterday I posted a status update on Facebook saying "Sarah is making her registry list and is OVERWHELMED!". This led to a string of wall posts and messages from "friends" offering advice on how to create a registry and which products to select. I was merely looking to vent and I was offered a slew of useful tips. It was amazing.

Two days ago my Dad stopped by to say hello (and visit his granddog). He was asking how the baby shopping is progressing and then generously offered to foot the bill for the crib... and handed me the check, right then and there! I was sort of speechless and could only muster a "Wow! Thanks SO much, Dad!" which is not nearly enough gratitude.

There there is the crew of friends and family working on my baby shower. Knowing the team, I can only imagine how grateful I am going to feel that day. And my Mom? My goodness. The woman is footing the bill for said gala. How can I not feel so blessed to have a Mom who wants to make sure her baby and HER baby are well prepared?!

The list of acts of kindness is seemingly endless and while the instances above reference financial help, I've been offered more emotional support than I could ever dream of. It seems that I am always only a phone call, a Facebook or email message, or a stop-by away from someone who wants to help. I really could pay tribute to so many people in my life. It's actually been the most humbling experience of my life.

Above all of the family and friends who have reached out and shown their unstoppable love, there is one figure in my life whom I have never loved or appreciated more than I have in the last 5 months. Pipe in the cheesy love song because I am talking about my husband, my best friend, and the love of my life. Husbands rarely get recognition as a caregiver; they are more known as providers, protectors, and partners. "Caregiver" is typically a term reserved for the great women of the world. While my husband might not portray the term caregiver in the sense you imagine, his effortless way with me in my pregnancy is most admirable and so genuine.

It may sound cliche and a bit melodramatic but with 100% sincerity I can say that, as I go through the dramas of my first pregnancy and unemployment, I do not think there is anyone that could show me as much care, support, and love as my husband.

Anyone who knows him and who knows us as a couple would attest to the fact that we have an enormous amount of love for each other and we have one of those relationships that people wish for. Its enviable, I guess you can say. This man truly LOVES and ADORES me (as I do him) and it has never been more evident.

He's been so accomodating and supportive with this whole pregnancy and expecting a child experience and I am filled with a new sense of gratitude with each of his actions.

Foot rub? Sure, no problem. Chick flick? Ok, let's do it. A trip to Babies R Us? I'll drive and buy you lunch afterwards. Crying again? I'll console you.

I frequently have to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming because he really is THAT awesome. I try not to take advantage of his offer to give me a daily back rub for the rest of my pregnancy but... he reminds me everyday so its hard not to. (Yes - a man like this really does exist!)

Then there is the unparalleled compassion in the bedroom. (Get your minds out of the gutter, I am talking about sleeping!) Any pregnant woman can tell you that sleeping is a bit of a chore through the nine months of carrying. From the dos and don'ts in regards to sleeping positions to the hot flashes to the general insomnia, sleep does not come easy. In my defense, when I am not sleeping, I am TRYING to sleep. Rather than reading a book or heading to the living room for some quiet TV, I continuously toss and turn, adjust pillows, get up to pee, change clothes, etc. It has to be terrible for my sleeping companion and I am quite mindful of this throughout the night (which lends to LESS sleeping because sometimes I become so preoccupied with disrupting HIS sleep that I am left wide awake and scared to move). In the morning, I always expect him to be grouchy and frustrated with me for ruining a perfectly good night of sleeping but he is NEVER. He's insanely compassionate.

Beyond the "favors" or willingness to do whatever suits my fancy, he is already becoming an incredible father to our little baby in my belly. Everyday he's reading a book, a magazine, or an online article relative to pregnancy, baby life, baby gear, etc. And everyday he rubs my belly and speaks to our little girl, giving her some fatherly words of wisdom.

It melts my heart to watch him evolve into this role. I am so blessed to have him as a partner in life and I know that with him by my side, we can and we will get through anything. And, I know, he will ALWAYS take care of me.

I’ve waited my whole life to feel this blessed. Now I’m comparing the dream to the way it is. - from Divide Me by Kalai

CVS is celebrating Caregivers with their ForAllTheWaysYouCare.com. I was IMMEDIATELY inspired to participate, not just for the loot they are offering but because Kevin has endured a lot as a husband recently and the respect and gratitude is long overdue and well deserved.

on food, exercise, and oh yea I got a 2nd interview!

2009-02-23T16:10:00.007-05:00

I think the cravings are starting. You know, the cravings that the pregnant people always talk about? Those cravings. Yea, I am pretty sure they have made themselves at home in my ever-growing body. I don't know exactly what tipped me off but it could have something to do with the fact that in the last 2 hours, I have eaten tostitos, a spinach pie, chicken salad with grapes, diced pears, Cadbury Mini Eggs (holy hell they are delicious... and SO bad for me), and Cocoa Pebbles. Is that a problem (that's rhetorical, please do NOT answer!)? I did not consume all that much of said foods but its just that I was feeling the need to "sample" a little bit of this and a little bit of that... and I was not to be stopped.

It was actually quite a party!

I haven't been stricken with the IHAVETOHAVE x, y, or z as of yet but I am sure that is right around the corner.

We interrupt this program to bring you a special announcement from my little chica... as I type this, she is bouncing around in the belly and I am quite convinced she is saying hello to you, internets. You should feel privileged because she has not moved much at all today. Now back to whatever nonsense I was mulling about...

Ah yes, the cravings. So, I haven't gotten to that point where I send the hub out at 3am because I need pickle flavored ice cream and I don't know that I ever will but there has DEFINITELY been a shift in my eating habits.

And just in time for my eating to ramp up, I got my butt back to the gym this week. I was a super star in Florida... walking an hour almost everyday and also hitting the gym almost every other day. But coming home to the cold was rough and I fell really hard off the active horse with the headaches I was having so I basically vegged all last week. But, I am happy to report that I had a great workout this morning: 40 minutes of cardio and light weights (followed by the previously mentioned smorgasbord!). I plan to go Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday this week for much of the same (minus the previously mentioned smorgasbord!).

Last bit of news... if you read this post, you know I had a phone interview last week. Well, I've landed a second interview (in-person) and am scheduled to meet with the team on Wednesday. This is reassuring because I wasn't quite sure how I did on the phone interview. I don't have all that much interview experience and while I felt entirely prepared, I definitely was a bit nervous so I had hoped that didn't come across in my interview. Evidently, they liked me enough to get me in for round 2. YAY! I am a tad nervous but very excited. The position is right up my alley and while its a slight deviation from my previous experience, I actually think I would be well suited for this type of work. Wish me luck!

Survey Says

2009-02-21T09:55:00.001-05:00

Preggos come up with a lot of fun stuff to distract us from normal life and to keep us focused on the ongoing developments in our bellies, such as this survey that I found on the BabyCenter message boards.

Is this your first baby?
Yes, yes indeed.

Were you trying to get pregnant?
Well, we were in the "we're not NOT trying" camp... which really means we were trying.

How far along were you when you found out?
Um, I think I knew at about 3 weeks but it was 4 weeks before I got the positive test.

What was your reaction?
Really? Wow! That was easy.

Who was the first person you told?
Kevin, naturally.

How did you tell the father?
It was 5:30am and I was getting ready for the gym and decided to take the test before I left because you're supposed to use your first "pee" of the day. So I was kind of groggy when I took the test but once the two lines appeared I was WIDE awake. And then I woke up Kevin and skipped the gym to celebrate!

What was his reaction?
Groggy as well but soon he came out of the sleepy state and was grinning ear-to-ear.

When is your due date?
July 8, 2009

Did you have any morning sickness?
Nope, I was fortunate to feel great during the first trimester. EXCEPT, I was completely exhausted. But now, I've been stricken with a weeklong headache to make up for it. :(

Did you want a boy or girl?
I didn't have a preference. For some reason we sort of assumed it was going to be a boy but once we found out it is a girl, it seemed natural.

Do you know what you’re having?
Yep yep! Its a girl!

Do you plan on a natural or medicated birth?
I am 100% PLANNING on the drugs. Don't get me wrong... I think natural births are one of the most admirable things that some mothers do but my tolerance for pain is pretty low so I'd prefer to be somewhat numb.

Are you scared about labor?
Not yet. I keep learning new things about the labor process that SHOULD scare me but I am a pretty rational chica and when I think about how many babies are born each day, I am confident that I can do it.

Do you think you will cry when you see the baby for the first time?
Probably... but I have no idea. I thought I'd cry at the ultrasounds and I didn't.

Who is going to be with you?
Kev and the medical crew.

Are you going to video tape it?
Heck no. That is what Discovery Health is for, friends.

Do you know what you will say to the baby when you first hold it?
Do I need to plan stuff like that? I have no idea. I'll probably start with an "aww... my little baby".

Do you have a name picked out?
No. We have some strong candidates but we're keeping that a secret until she makes her debut.

Is your baby going to be named after anyone?
Most likely not not. The strongest contenders thus far are completely unique to our family.

What do you think the baby will be a "daddy’s girl/boy" or a "mommy’s girl/boy"?
Well, if Kevin's relationship with our female dog is any indication, the baby will absolutely be a Daddy's Girl (and that melts my heart to even think about). BUT, if my relationship with MY Mom is any sign of how close I'll be to my daughter, I am looking forward to have a strong bond with my little bud.

my head won't let me focus

2009-02-20T09:04:00.000-05:00

I've had a headache for five days. FIVE DAYS. With no relief. I've skated through pregnancy and have had very little discomfort for nearly twenty weeks. And then... BAM. I arrive in headache city in my twentieth week. I really have no right to complain since I was so fortunate to avoid most of the first trimester woes. But, I can't seem to get rid of this pain in my cabesa and its driving me loco. I've tried Tylenol, caffeine, water, napping... I've tried every remedy that the preggo experts suggest. To. No. Avail.

Be that as it may, I am finding it hard to concentrate on any one topic today. Here's what's floating around the pain ridden noggin of mine:

-> In May, I cut my hair the shortest its been in years and I have been growing it out ever since. I am happy to report that I can now successfully create my favored 2 braid style. Yippee!

-> On of my favorite aspects of our Florida vacation was being outside... and not freezing. It was complete validation that living in a warmer climate promotes a healthier lifestyle. We walked nearly everyday... and now, I sit in my house, unable to leave for fear of being eaten by Professor Coldheart and his sidekick Frostbite. (Not to mention the 5 day headache has me sidelined.) I can't wait until Spring!

-> I am so ready for the baseball season to begin. Kevin and I are planning to go to at least one Sox game this year but we haven't decided whether we want to go in April/May, when I am 7 months preggo, or in August/September, when my little chica is merely months old.

-> Speaking of MLB. A-Rod... is anyone really surprised? Loser. I listened to his Peter Gammons interview on ESPN last week and totally loved how he admitted that ALL the guys in the clubhouse rag on him and call him names and this is acceptable. "Peter, in our clubhouse, everybody makes fun of me. I'm talking about from the clubhouse kid, to every coach, Larry, Mike, Joe Torre. Every guy on the team. And I like it. I like taking it. I am not a good ragger, but I am a good receiver. That's really a compliment the guys feel that comfortable that they can actually make fun of me at any time. So did I hear A-Fraud? We joked around about a lot of things. Listen, 25 guys have 25 different nicknames. So to me there's no harm, no foul there." ("I am a good receiver"... he said that outloud, on television. Hah!)

-> Job hunting while pregnant is not easy. First, there is not a lot out there - pregnant or not. Second, if I am offered an interview at a company of interest, I plan to be upfront about my pregnancy (by the time the interview rolls around, I think it will be impossible to hide) because I want to know about their maternity leave policies and how family oriented/supportive the company is. And, I think it is only fair to be honest about the fact that I will be taking a leave within a few short months of starting a job. If a company has goals to achieve on a timeline, I don't want to hinder their efforts. So... I am accepting the fact that I may be out of work until post-baby. (BUT, I have a phone interview today! And, I've decided its not necessary to bring up my pregnancy just yet. I'll wait until I get a formal interview.)

-> Being out of work during pregnancy has been quite a luxury. I can't imagine working through these killer headaches or the fatigue of the first trimester? Ugh. I give tons of credit to you working preggos... especially those who also have kids at home. You are unbelievably strong.

-> Pregnancy nightmares are terrifying and keeping me awake! Two nights ago I had a dream that a childhood classmate of mine was maliciously murdered and I was attending all of the services and calling hours and it was just terribly sad. Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in open water with friends and family and was almost attacked by a great white shark. I narrowly escaped but as I turned to make sure my family was safe, the shark was heading right for my Mom and I was screaming "GET OUT OF THE WATER" as loud as I could. The shark was heading right for her when I woke up. (Perhaps these nightmares contribute to my headaches?)

Time to prepare for my interview... happy Friday!

20 Weeks - Chicquita Banana (and the Half Way Mark!)

2009-02-19T07:17:00.002-05:00

Twenty weeks is a milestone in pregnancy. Its the week we can officially say that we are half way, and thus the countdown begins. Its also the week in which BabyCenter stops referring to my little fetus as round, chubby foods and starts relating her to longer, more slender fruits and veggies. Apparently, "for the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against her torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of her head to her bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. (Which expains WHY my baby has been called a turnip, an avocado, a tomato, etc.) After 20 weeks, she's measured from head to toe."

Ah, that makes sense. Now that we have that cleared up, let's move on.

So we're at the halfway mark — congratulations to us! My little chica weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now and is about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. She's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for her digestive system. She's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion (yum). This gooey substance will accumulate in her bowels, and we'll see it in her first soiled diaper (Kev, that is all you, my dear!).

In Mommy developments:
-> I've gained about 10 pounds in the 20 weeks I've been pregnant. That is par for course and I am plenty healthy.

-> Speaking of healthy, all of my vitals continue to be on point at my check ups. Blood pressure is staying strong at 108/60 and my pee is clear.

-> The bump has officially made an appearance. Its still not all that relevant to the average onlooker (especially when covered by winter gear like sweaters and hoodies) but the hub and I can definitely see the difference. I am kind of in that "is she chubby or pregnant?" stage but that is fine with me.

-> I enrolled in a prenatal yoga class with my sister in-law and we had our first class this week. It was definitely a relaxing experience and I felt like such an amateur next to the other mommies who were much farther along. The majority of the participants were between 28-34 weeks and had such cute bumps. Though as much as I admired their blatant "pregnantness", I am happily reveling in the "I'm feeling wonderful in my second trimester" glow.

-> I am not sure I've mentioned this previously but... very worth noting that my sister in-law is also expecting (her 2nd) and we are actually due within a week of each other (she's due 5 days before me). Its very exciting for our family and I am especially excited to have someone to relate to through this. Contrary to our decision, they are not finding out the sex of their bambino. My little chica is hoping for a girl cousin but she'd be just as ecstatic to have another boy cousin to look out for her. :)

-> Headaches are an unfortunate new friend of mine. I've been stricken all week and can't seem to rid myself of the pain. Tylenol is the recommended remedy and frankly, those pills do NOTHING for my headaches. I've tried acceptable doses of Tylenol, caffeine and naps to rid the headaches but nothing has helped. Gah!

-> We're thinking about registering in the next couple of weeks. I am already overwhelmed. Ah.

-> I think Robeez are going to be a new addiction of mine. I can't even stand how cute they are. I especially love the seahorses.

-> I've begun shopping for a diaper bag but that is a topic entirely worthy of its own post. From Petunia Pickle Bottom to Vera Bradley to Hoohobber... I am perplexed. There are so many fashion friendly options (though not so budget friendly).

-> I get uber uber UBER excited everytime I feel my little blueberry dancing around in my belly. Its definitely happening more frequently though it seems everytime I pay too close attention to her, she gets shy and stops. (She could be like her Mom in that way.)

20 weeks down, 20 weeks to go! Let the countdown begin!

19 Weeks - You Say Tomato...

2009-02-15T09:17:00.001-05:00

Hello to my little heirloom tomato. I am sort of weirded out by the references to foods that are extraordinarily round. Clearly you are not ball shaped so why the comparison to round fruits and veggies. I see you more as a banana or a zucchini. Perhaps its because you're all balled up in there?

In any case, my pregnancy bible, BabyCenter, tells me that you weigh about 8 1/2 ounces and measure 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. The hair on your scalp is sprouting. This is a crucial time for sensory development: your brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that you may be able to hear my voice now, which is good to know since your Dad and I have been talking to you since day one... at least now I know you can possibly hear what we're saying, chica.

hiatus

2009-02-10T16:13:00.004-05:00

We're currently vacationed at my mom and step dad's home in Tampa, Florida and let me tell you... it has been a freaking splendid time thus far. First there is the weather, which has been no less than 75 degrees and sunny everyday since Saturday. Then there is the relaxation. We've been catching up on reading and baby name books and have slept no less than 9 hours per night.

Despite the fact that I am currently out of work, I can't seem to relax at home. I always feel pressure to job hunt, clean, cook, do-babyish-things, or what not. I can't ever seem to just chill. Down here, however... its been nothing but chill.

Saturday we ventured to Sea World to visit Shamu and all his buds. I figured this would be a good park because a) I haven't been in almost 20 years and b) it has very few "rides" which are a total no-no for a pregnant chick. Honestly, I must say that I was VERY impressed. I've always been a huge fan of marine life and for a long time, I thought I wanted to be a marine biologist "when I grew up". (That quickly faded when I entered the science program at URI, my alma mater). Anyway, something about marine life fascinates me and I was SUPER entertained at Sea World. (Though, I do have this humane bone that pricked at my heart a few times that day when I wondered how "healthy" the Sea World lifestyle is for the animals.) The shows were really cool and it was just an all around great day.

Aside from that adventure, we've been spending most of our time hanging on the lanai and going for walks. Being in a warm climate is SO refreshing. I'm so inspired to be active and just enjoy the environment. It sort of sucks that I cannot run due to my little placenta previa issue but I've been making due with visits to the local YMCA and daily walks with the hub (who HAS been running everyday and is loving every minute of it).

In baby news, I am finally feeling her wiggle around down there. It hasn't been anything major but I am feeling the ocassional kick here and there. We are in the midst of the name game and are accepting all suggestions so feel free to throw your favorites in the comments. However, we will not be sharing her chosen name until her birth. I know a lot of people think that is "no fun" but we figure sharing the sex was exciting enough and we have to leave some element of surprise for the birth! :)

I've got to help my mom now... we're preparing for our beach day tomorrow. Life is tough, I know!

18 Weeks - My Little Bell(a) Pepper

2009-02-05T10:23:00.006-05:00

BabyCenter update: Head to rump, our baby is approximately 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and weighs almost 7 ounces. He's (eh hem, Baby Center, don't you know we found out its a GIRL! so you can stop calling it a "he") busy flexing ~~his~~ HER arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. If you're having a girl (now you're getting it), her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. ~~If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, although he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.~~

This is what you look like at this stage (although I saw you yesterday and you are much more beautiful than that rendering).

Your Dad and I are over the moon about you being a girl (or a boy without a penis as your Daddy so lovingly remarked)! I look forward to bonding more with you in the next 22 weeks and to preparing for your arrival... which SO many people are anxiously awaiting. But, please take your time. I've got a lot to do beforehand.

And listen chica, don't be bashful down there - I saw you dancing up a storm on that ultrasound but I haven't really been able to feel so much movement on my own. I encourage you to shake it baby, shake it! Doc says that I should feel you by week 20 and I am looking forward to it. I may be limited in my exercise but that doesn't mean you have to be!

We're taking a trip to visit your grandparents in Florida tomorrow and while you won't get to appreciate it as much as we will, I am sure there will be many Florida trips in your future. For now, you enjoy your restful state and I will be out here, taking care of you, little one.

Its a...

2009-02-04T10:19:00.006-05:00

GIRL!!!

Yep, we saw the girl parts and everything. We are both so excited (and still a little shocked). But, the most important part... she is healthy as can be and her anatomy checked out perfectly. We saw her perfect feet and her toes, her hands and her fingers, her arms, her legs, her spine, her brain (huge, like her Mom), her belly, her heart, her nose, her eyes...

We saw it all and she is perfect. Absolutely perfect.

A huge sigh of relief and a welcomed wave of excitement washed over us in that ultrasound room. We left the room to go meet with the doctor and we were both just grinning from ear to ear.

Thank you thank you thank you God!

I, on the other hand, have what is called a marginal placenta previa. It basically means that the placenta is lower than normal and is partially covering the cervix, which means if it doesn't rise, we might have to look at doing a c-section. Its rather common and the doctor said that she's never seen it lower and is generally something that will correct itself. I will have another ultrasound done in 8 weeks to see how the placenta is progressing BUT for now I am on "pelvic rest". I have to limit my physical activity which kind of sucks but obviously, I am all for doing what is best for my little chica. (Hah... she is a she!)

Bring on the pink!

appreciation

2009-02-03T17:05:00.007-05:00

As I wade through this sea of change before me, I am frequently struck with a number of overwhelming emotions and sensations.

Happiness.

Fear.

Pride.

Admiration.

Love.

Doubt.

Appreciation.

I've been given a lot of time recently due to some unfortunate circumstances on the career front... but I've never felt happier. This "free" time has allowed me to reflect on everything behind and in front of me. To consider the future. To get back to me. To appreciate it all. These emotions are more intense than I've ever felt. I've never been so full of an urge or desire or a sensation as I have since becoming pregnant. I realize that hormones influence my perception and reception but honestly, it has been a wonderfully eye opening time.

Above all else, I've found true appreciation to be the most intense, the most humbling, and the most gratifying experience.

As we approach the day in which we find out if it will be a little boy or a little girl molding our future together as a family, I am full of apprehension and insecurity. I do not care whether that anatomy scan shows boy or girl parts; I just want to see a healthy baby. A perfectly healthy little baby of ours.

It may sound cliche but its the honest truth. I have no idea what to expect as far as sex is concerned so frankly, I will not be shocked and I will feel blessed with either.

What's funny is that prior to getting pregnant, I would've told you I wanted a boy. I have always felt that I was going to have a boy first... until I got pregnant and now I have absolutely no intuition about the sex at all. And really, that just seems so inconsequential. While I am so anxious to find out, I am that much more excited to get all the test results and hear/see that our baby is totally healthy and on the normal path of development.

Today, the day before a lot is revealed, I feel so fortunate to have the most amazing husband in the world, to be sharing this experience with my kid-at-heart best friend... who is going to make the most amazing father and who continuously makes me whole.

I stumbled across this blog today and all I have to say is prepare your tissues before you read. Its a true story about a man who lost his wife right after she gave birth to their first child (a beautiful little girl). The blog is full of stories and pictures and it really brought me again to that humbling place. Appreciation.

Things that used to matter so much don't seem nearly as important...

Preparing Nala (the Dog) for Sisterhood

2009-02-02T12:57:00.001-05:00

You've probably heard me mention our dog, Nala... for whom I have an incredible, enormous, borderline obsessive amount of love. For nearly seven years, she has been our baby, our little shining light. I could not love a dog more than I adore this pup.

However, there are some Nala idiosyncrasies that have me in a bit of a worrying state with the impending arrival of her little brother or sister. I've explained some of those "issues" before, here.

Most relevant to my recent state of affairs, Nala is unfamiliar and uncomfortable with children.

Ghasp!! I know, sort of a big deal when we're having a child of our own.

When kids see a big fluffy yellow lab (she's part shepard but looks mostly lab), they run right for her, wide armed, wide grinned and screaming some sort of garble about "doggie pet tail pull ride moosh love cuddle yay". It reminds me of Elmyra from Tiny Toons. "I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and love you forever and ever and ever."

This type of approach does not bode well with Nala (I can't imagine why). She does not like to be approached by anyone or anything, no matter how small, cute, and harmless they may be so when she sees a child running at her mumbling not one word in her vocabulary (which is quite extensive), she panics. And by panic I mean she starts barking and growling and looking pretty vicious. For older kids, this is enough to scare them away. But for toddlers, it generally makes them laugh and run faster TOWARDS her... in which instance the parents scoop them up... which sends the child into a tantrum because they don't understand why they cannot pet the doggie.

Unfortunately, there is not much that we have been able to do to further socialize her with children because honestly, we can't really ask our friends and family to put their children in harm's way for the sake of Nala's social anxiety. So the problem has never been formally addressed.

But - internets, don't send an SOS to Cesar Millan just yet (although, Cesar, if you happen to be in the RI area, we could really use your help!!!). I have faith that the hub and I can prepare her for what's to come, on our own.

One advantage we have working for us... she IS accepting of infants. She's been exposed to quite a few bambinos recently and she really has no issue with the little bundles of joy. Nor does she mind when Kevin or I HOLD the baby and talk all googly woogly (in the voice we frequently speak to her). Infants don't really move all that much so Nala could care less. I am hopeful that Nala adjusts to our child, her new sibling, in its newborn state and begins to consider this baby as a member of our pack before it is mobile (and able to torture her).

We've read a ton of advice and have watched our fair share of Dog Whisperer episodes to educate ourselves on the proper techniques to introduce a dog to a new member of the family. And we've begun instituing some of these practices so that come July, it is not all such a shock to Nala. We're taking her training very seriously.

The first order of business is taming her excitability when guests visit. Evidently, we're going to have a lot of people stopping by once Baby arrives and the last thing we want to be concerned with are Nala's greetings. Arrivals are generally quite an affair for Nala, especially when its her BFFs (our parents and close friends) at the door because they are always equally excited to see each other and this smotherly love fest carries on for the first five minutes. Nala kisses them to death and they proceed to schmoopy talk and pet the crap out of her and then its right to the cookie jar for a "c-o-o-k-i-e" because... well, for no good reason other than people like to spoil dogs. Well, NO MAS. Our family and friends have been instructed that they are not to even greet Nala when they come in and she cannot be pet or paid attention to until she has calmed down. So far, its working well and she has responded excellently.

Our next practice is to introduce the crying baby doll into our home. A friend of ours happens to have a dollie that cries (that they used to prepare their socially anxious dog for their baby) that they are loaning us (chances are, with a REAL crying baby at home, they won't want the dollie back) to "play with". In a couple of weeks we're going to conduct some exercises where we will handle and speak to this doll as if it is our own child. We're hoping that, in addition to us seeming like freaks, Nala grows accustomed to us paying attention to another bundle of joy.

The final exercise is to prohibit Nala from being in the baby's room. We saw this done by Cesar (as in the Dog Whisperer) and it makes a lot of sense. He says that it is important to let the dog know that the baby has a space and that excitability is not acceptable within this space. And, we're not going to simply close the door to keep her out of the room, but through training we're going to create a boundary that she cannot cross.

Eventually, we're hopeful that Nala will adopt the baby as one of us and she will probably end up being incredibly protective of him or her.

17 Weeks - Turn(it)up a Notch

2009-01-29T16:47:00.002-05:00

According to le bambino center, your skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord - your lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. You weigh 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip... yum), and you're around 5 inches long from head to bottom. You can move your joints (dance, baby, dance!), and your sweat glands are starting to develop.

Enough about you... how is the Mom doing this week? Fanfrickentastic actually. I've been a little go-gettum this week, full of energy and feeling very HAPPY. My emotions have been relatively under control (except when I heard that dang Carrie Underwood song again this morning). I hit a spell of eating crappy last week but this week I turned it around and have been eating all the nutrients and healthy foods that are good for both baby and me. I've been to the gym a couple times this week. All is quite blissful, actually.

How am I growing, you ask? I am not really showing on the outside but I am definitely growing a belly. Its slight and more pronounced at the end of the day or when I really have to pee (every 3 minutes) and my bladder apparently pushes my uterus out a little. But, YOU wouldn't be able to tell. My clothes still fit though they are getting quite snug in the waist... and I am bordering on the dreaded in between maternity and regular clothes phase.

How is the baby daddy? Thanks for asking. Baby Daddy is doing awesome. He is super excited and really into the whole process. He's been reading children's books to learn some of the classics and pick out his favorites. He also reads the weekly updates and likes to follow some of the conversations and pictures that are on the message boards. He's also really into getting the baby room ready.

What are we doing with said baby room? Regardless of the gender, we're going with an animal theme (mostly monkeys!) in green and brown. I figure this "stuff" is going to be passed down to the next child (yes, rather presumptious of me to start talking about "next child" before I've had a go with ONE!) so if we were to go all blue or all pink, that wouldn't work so well if the next child was the opposite gender. So, we're keeping it neutral. Not to mention, I am not really a fan of blue or pink... though I'm sure I'll see my fair share of one or the other come shower time. As for furnishings, we've purchased a baby changer dresser combo and a glider. This week we are beginning the search for a crib as well as picking out paint colors.

Only 23 more weeks to go. Whoa. When I say it like that, it seems like not enough time to prepare. I have lots of nesting to do. Next week we have our "anatomy scan" where they check out all the parts and can hopefully determine the gender (assuming Blueberry cooperates and is not modest). I am SO anxious to find out! Stay tuned...

(BTW, I realize that in the title, I spelled turnip with a U rather than an I... it was intentional. I am generally an excellent speller!)

25 Things

2009-01-28T13:37:00.005-05:00

This was a Facebook "exercise" but I'm bringing it to blogland.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

1. I am not tagging anyone... if you need inspiration to write, TAG you're it.

2. I feel blessed that so many of my Facebook friends had the confidence that I would be a good candidate for this 25 things crap.

3. Should I take that as a compliment or an insult? Is it because you love me or because I notoriously like to talk about myself so much that you selected me?

4. I am nearing clinical seasonal depression. This winter has been utterly brutal.

5. Thankfully, in 9 days, we (as in Kev and me, not YOU and me) are going to Florida for 9 days. (And no, I cannot take you with me.)

6. I am in a cynical mood today, sort of mad at the world.

7. I am seriously thinking of becoming a teacher... of the littlest kids... elementary, if you will.

8. Cynicism doesn't work in elementary ed, does it?

9. IN CASE you missed the memo, I am pregnant.

10. Yes, KEVIN is the father.

12. Holy moses - I am going to be a Mom.

13. I really need to listen to more music. I've been neglecting my collection.

14. I think Biggest Loser should do a post-partum series.

15. My love for vodka has been transferred to a love for lemonade.

16. Does that make me less of a rock star?

17. Speaking of rock star, I think I felt the baby move for the first time at the Killers show the other night. My baby likes to rock.

18. Apparently... I = breeder of future rock stars.

19. No, I will not carry YOUR children.

20. I really MISS running outside. Actually, scratch that. I miss running in general. I've resorted to less intensive exercise during my pregnancy... such as remote clicking, phone chatting, and lemonade lifting. (I kid... I'm still hitting the gym!)

21. Ah, 21... a birthday I'll never remember.

22. I am learning how to knit - I start next week with a lesson from a pro.

23. Knitting + lemonade = one heckuva party animal.

24. Speaking of animal, Nala the Dog is very excited about becoming a big Sister.

25. 25 is a good number... in fact, on April two five (25th) this year, I will be 30. Ghasp!

16 Weeks - The Killers and Guacamole!

2009-01-27T09:21:00.010-05:00

You're 16 weeks, Baby!! (Actually tomorrow you will be 17 weeks but I am determined to chronicle each week of your development so we're pretending its a few days ago.) According to the source, I need to get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, you will double your weight and add inches in length. Right now, you're about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long and 3 1/2 ounces.(Is it a problem that this makes me want to eat guacamole?) Your legs are much more developed, your head is more erect than it has been, and your eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. Your ears are close to their final position, too.

Speaking of ears... Baby Blueberry went to "its" very first concert last night. We went to The Killers in Boston and the show was awesome. Some highlights:

-> This was a girls night. Good times with good friends!

-> In my humble opinion, the best performances were Joy Ride, Read My Mind, and All These Things that I've Done (which I refer to as "the soldier song").

-> This was the first concert that I did not consume an adult beverage (or two). Honestly, I did not miss the beer... I paid much closer attention and today, I remember every performance. But, for some reason during my pregnancy, every time I go to bed after midnight, I wake up feeling like I drank too much the night before... I can't escape the hangover.

-> Unfortunately, not drinking alcohol didn't help my bladder... NOTHING can help a preggo's bladder, I presume. Of course, I had to pee in the middle of the show and I decided to go during a song that I wasn't all that familiar. Naturally, there was a line in the ladies room but it moved rather quickly... it took less than a song's length for me to get to a stall. And as soon as I unbuttoned my pants, I heard Human start. Fortunately, I am an expert pee-er these days and was able to do mah business with haste, grab 2 bottles of water at the concession stand, AND get back with plenty of time to bellow "are we human, or are we dancer?".

-> Brandon Flowers makes tight jeans on a man look acceptable (and actually sort of hot)!

-> Before the show started, the house lights were on and I was actually able to spot friends who were also at the show, all the way across the arena. Well, I didn't spot them first but I was able to see them after another friend found them. We didn't have the chance to do that annoying on-the-cell-phone-wave-can-you-see-me-I-can-see-you thing because the show started. But I saw them nonetheless.

-> We sat in back of "THAT GUY". You know that guy who knows every word to every song? He sang his heart out, made Brandon Flowers very proud... and he even acted out the lyrics with dramatic hand movements and glances to his girlfriend... who happened to be "THAT GIRL". It was quite entertaining and I always love seeing people have a blast at a concert.

-> Then there was the shimmy shaking frat boy to the right of us who stood behind his girlfriend the entire show doing this "light" hip swirl dance that made you wonder if it was a boy or girl in front of him.

-> AND THEN there was my little Blueberry-baby-in-the-belly. At times, I swear I could feel the little one rocking out down there... but then I would pick up my water bottle only to feel it vibrating and I realized that perhaps it was not the baby moving but just the intensity of the volume rocking my body. Its way cooler to think that perhaps the first time I felt my baby move was at The Killers show, isn't it? I'm going with that.

-> I leave you with this...

mumbo jumbo

2009-01-21T08:02:00.003-05:00

A random assortment from my jumble filled mind...

-> I had my teeth cleaned yesterday. The cleaning was as uncomfortable as it usually is when someone pokes and prods at your gums with a needle point utensil. But the most exciting part... my next cleaning is scheduled 6 months from now, AFTER baby. That is just craziness because dental cleanings always seem to come up so quickly. (Yes, I sometimes measure my life in dentist visits.)

-> I watched Obmamathon all day yesterday and must say that I am full of hope and emotion and have an overwhelming sense that everything is going to be alright. Not that I should think otherwise but, its really been an inspirational experience watching him take the reigns.

-> The last place on earth I would've wanted to be yesterday is Washington D.C.!

-> I just broke up with Winter. I did it via text message and unfortunately I don't think he got the hint because he's still coming around with all his ugly habits... snow, coldness, ice, etc... the bad boy in him, if you will. How can I make it clear to him that I am in love with someone else who gives me warmth and sunshine and happiness?

-> I am currently reading the third book in the Twilight saga, Eclipse. I resisted even reading the first book but I heard so many great things about it from various friends that I had to give it a try. And then I was hooked. The books are categorized in the Young Adult section... is that a problem? I do feel like a high schooler while reading but to be honest, I get a little freaked out with all the vampire and werewolf talk. The dark woods outside my picture window look freakier and freakier with each book I read. BUT - I highly recommend it to any female looking for an easy and relatively fun read. Its a nice deviation from the somewhat depressing books I've been reading (by Alice Sebold, Jodi Picoult).

-> I am off to the gym...

15 Weeks - Apple of my Eye

2009-01-15T09:54:00.006-05:00

Hello to my little apple sized bambino!

According to BabyCenter, you now measure about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weigh about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). Your busy moving amniotic fluid through your nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in your lungs begin to develop (you'll need those healthy lungs when you become a superstar runner and soccer player... no pressure though, baby!). Your legs are growing longer than your arms now (thank goodness, you little monkey), and you can move all of your joints and limbs. Although your eyelids are still fused shut, you can sense light. If I were to shine a flashlight at my belly, for instance, you're likely to move away from the beam (but that seems cruel so I will not subject you to such games).

While the cold is discouraging me from venturing outside, I've been managing to get my butt to the gym 3 days per week. That is all I am asking of myself. If I get 4 or 5 days at the gym, wonderful. But if not, I am not going to beat myself up over it. I'm holding myself accountable for 3 days of low intensity cardio and eating healthy.

The eating healthy thing has actually come naturally, thanks to my lifestyle changes in 2008... and, obviously thanks to the fact that I have not had any food aversions or cravings. I do tend to want more salty than sweet foods which is not necessarily a bad thing... and my blood pressure has remained at a healthy 110/60 since the start. I've been eating balanced and regularly and I may not always feel like eating my vegetables but I also don't feel like eating crap so those two factors cancel each other out. I am managing to eat according to the recommended diet plan although its been somewhat difficult for me to add an extra 300 calories per day because I've never been one to count calories.

There are a number of old wives tales out there that say what you're eating/craving can be relative/due to the baby's gender. All of my eating habits point to boy but I am not relying on those myths... these same "old wives" also recommend gender predicting tactics such as mixing urine with Draino to find out the gender! Although gender can be determined by now, we have to wait until week 18 as that is standard for our practice. But, we've made the appointment for this big ultrasound and we are obviously really looking forward to it. Less than 3 weeks away!!

As for my little complaining fest last week where I ranted about expecting to feel more pregnant by this point... well, I am over that. I know that soon enough I will feel the baby kicking around and that my non-existent bump will turn into a basketball and I am content with just feeling absolutely fabulous right now. Thanks babycakes!

pass the tissues... and the prozac

2009-01-12T07:36:00.001-05:00

Among the many joys of my pregnancy, I have been subject to some crazy hormonal changes that I definitely was warned of... yet still could never prepare for.

For the first 8 weeks or so, I was blissfully happy. Basking in the glow of early, puke-free pregnancy. And then, slowly but surely, I began to notice my emotions were getting the better of me, every chance they could, and the tears have been flowing ever since. Honestly, some days I feel like I have multiple personalities.

First we have the sap... who is the most prominent of all my people...
Watching P.S. I Love You alone on my couch one day (please refrain from the comments that I know you are thinking), I must have killed at least a box of Puffs Plus. I have absolutely never cried so much in one movie as I did watching that godforsaken film. Until... I went to see Marley & Me. Kevin and I spent our New Years Eve at the movie theater (with like 4 other couples), watching the adorable but painfully sad for any dog owner or animal lover, Marley & Me. I. Was. A. Mess. IN PUBLIC. Fortunately, I do not think I was alone in my sob fest... I heard a few other sniffles here and there.

A chick cries at sappy movies... so what? Right? Well, I normally have control over my tears and NORMALLY, I don't succumb to SOBBING through movies. Well, NORMAL be gone. Pregnant Sarah is a huge sap. Just a few minutes ago, I found myself blurry eyed, runny nosed while listening to Carrie Underwood's song about the girl that goes to the church as if she is getting married but ends up she is going to her love's funeral (I forget the name?). I don't think I ever LISTENED to the lyrics before, nevermind CRIED at a song on the radio. Oye vey.

And Baby Story on TLC. Fughettaboutit. Everytime they deliver the baby, I am all sniffle-sniffle-aww (and I don't think it is because I am sympathetic to the pain of childbirth).

Last week was the kicker. I was at the gym, on the elliptical watching Barack Obama's speech on the economic state of affairs (which is hitting very close to home right now). Now, by watching, I literally mean watching, not listening. I had my iPod so I could not tune into the radio frequency that the gym channels for TV audio. SO, I was listening to some techno dance crap while watching closed captioning of Barack's delivery... and I nearly lost it on the elliptical. Not only did it make me more confident in the man I voted for... but it nearly brought me to TEARS! WTH?

Then there is the Sybil in me...
Beware. The transformation from sweet, emotional Sarah to crazy, bitter bitch cannot be predicted or prevented. The victims are those in closest proximity and there is no explanation for what sets me off but in most instances, it ends in me reverting back to the sappy blubbering mess (see above), begging for mercy from all in my wake.

And then there is the Suzie HOMEMAKER.
Enough with the cleaning already. ENOUGH! Nesting is an understatement for this mom-to-be. I spent nearly the entire month of December cleaning and sterilizing the house. At first I thought it was in preparation for the holidays and our house guests. But, once the holidays were behind us and our guests departed, I found that I was actually even MORE driven to clean. This is not necessarily something I am complaining about... I like having a clean casa but I am afraid that I am setting expectations for myself that I will not be able to keep once baby arrives. Sheesh.

No one prepared me for complete schizophrenia.

Just call me Drama (I too have an entourage).

14 weeks - when life gives you lemons!

2009-01-07T11:10:00.007-05:00

Congratulations to Blueberry and me (and of course the baby daddy!)... we've officially entered the second trimester. One down, two to go!

According to BabyCenter...
This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee (lovely), and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb (hopefully not a habit my kid inherits... I sucked my thumb until I was 12, the day I got braces... but we needn't address my oral fixation issues now).

And, at 14 weeks, the baby looks like this.

There is evidently a lot of cool stuff going on in development. But, I thought by now I'd have something to show for this preggo business other than 20 or so absolutely adorable (and somewhat alien-like) ultrasound pictures. For instance... I thought I'd have a tally of how many times I've puked; I thought maybe I'd feel a flutter or a butterfly sensation; I thought I'd have crazy cravings or aversions to certain foods; and I thought that maybe I'd have a belly or at least some extra weight.

Please do not misinterpret; I am NOT complaining. I am merely saying that what I was told to expect is not happening. I feel so fortunate to not be experiencing the many woes that some pregnant women experience. And, I am sure soon enough, I will be cursing myself for ever wondering when I'd start to "show".

Every expecting mother reads and hears all over the place that "every pregnancy is different" and that no two are alike but when you're going through it, that philosophy is daunting. Its frustrating that there is no exact science to every pregnancy. Each twinge, cramp, or sensation is different for every woman, different for every baby, and indicative of god only knows what.

And don't you dare try to Google those symptoms because that only leaves you in a stupor, thinking the worst.

Basically what I've learned is that for the first trimester and beyond, everything going on inside that uteran bubble is a mystery. Sure the calendars and charts explain the growth but I really want to know in between the developmental stages, what is going on with MY baby? What is he/she doing down there? I've had multiple ultrasounds that have showed my healthy little bean dancing and kicking yet still, in between ultrasounds, I get crazy nervous that there is something wrong because I simply cannot FEEL anything.

I know that most women who have been through pregnancy out there reading this are telling me to shut my trap, bite my tongue and just enjoy the ride. And truthfully, I AM. I am over the moon about expecting and I am loving every second of it. (I don't even miss things like gorgonzola cheese, salami, and vodka.)

I am truly enjoying being pregnant. How could I not? Its a powerful and awesome experience and... it doesn't hurt one bit! YET!

OH BABY!

2009-01-05T20:09:00.001-05:00

Kevin and I are expecting our first child this summer and we could not be more ecstatic. That's right internets... I am pregnant.

Can you see the resemblance?

I am sure this will come as no surprise to some as my last post alluded to some big changes going on in my life and while I did not exactly imply that there is a baby growing in my belly, I am sure many of you smarty pants inferred just that. There ARE some other changes going on relative to work and more but honestly... I am pregnant and that just trumps all else in life. Truly. (Holy cow, we are having a baby.)

For the inquiring minds:
-> I am nearly 14 weeks along, due July 8th.
-> BabyCenter.com has been my lifeline through this and my favorite part is the weekly update which shows changes in the baby's development and size.
-> According to said updates, at 14 weeks, the baby is about the size of a lemon, or 3 1/2 inches long.
-> At 7 weeks it was the size of a blueberry and I thought it was the cutest reference (compared to lentil bean, poppy seed, and last week's "medium shrimp") and have since deemed the baby "Blueberry". The baby is hoping that by the time he/she turns 13, I grow out of that.
-> I feel like a champion. I am amazed (and blessed) at how wonderful I have felt. I've had no morning sickness and have felt pretty much normal... except for the pure exhaustion from weeks 4-10. Literally, I could not make it past 7pm without a nap. But other than that... smooth sailing.
-> Feeling fabulous is actually somewhat scary when you are pregnant because you are led to believe that all women experience complete illness and go through hell during the first trimester.
-> Have you ever tried to call the doctor because you feel too WELL? Its quite ridiculous trying to explain concern over feeling great.
-> I have lost about 7 pounds due to loss of appetite. I have always been a die hard sweet tooth (and have been my dentist's favorite patient) but now, I have ZERO appetite for sweets... a shame during the holidays.
-> I love my doctor and her practice. SERIOUSLY! Its an entirely female practice so naturally, they are punctual, compassionate, accomodating, and understanding (especially regarding the crazy preggos who call because they feel great!). Oh, and most of the doctors are products of the Brown University medical program (therefore, well edumacated).
-> Much to Kevin's dismay, there is only one baby, not twins (I say hallelujah!).
-> We are going to find out the gender... as soon as possible. I am dying to know and have zero intuition but have been known to refer to "it" as a "he" so who knows if that is a coincidence?! And no, I don't really have a preference (and if I did I would never admit it).
-> Being preggo is to "blame" for my lack of blogging... I have honestly been consumed by pregnancy and haven't been interested in writing about anything else. So now that I am "out" with the news, I'll be back in your faces on a regular basis.
-> From the time we found out until about 2 weeks ago, I was exercising regularly and feeling great about it. The reason I've stopped is not due to pregnancy woes but due to chaos during the holidays. But, now with the holidays behind us, I'll be back at the gym this week. Though I have no plans to run any races while pregant as I ran a couple of 5ks soon after I found out and I was agonizingly winded and slow. I simply could NOT go any faster.

So, that's the gist of it. There will be a lot more to come related to my experiences as a pregnant chick who is trying to maintain fitness, a social life, a love life, and HER SANITY.

For now, I'm removing my StrugglePants (pardon me while I head to the dressing room) for some good ole' PreggoPants.

Its going to be a good year.

ch ch ch changes

2008-12-03T11:26:00.003-05:00

(I am not sure how many "ch"s there are supposed to be before "changes" but I am sure it would've been quite humorous to be that fly on the wall watching me try to figure it out.)

Life is moving at a rapid pace right now. I can't believe we're almost a week out from Thanksgiving already. Is it possible that I am still stuffed? I ate turkey and all her BFFs (stuffing, sweet pots, and cranberry sauce) for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and everything in between for 4 days in a row. I am turked out. No joke.

But, it was a great holiday. It is my favorite of all and it has yet to let me down. I love getting together with family without the pressure of gift giving or receiving. And, its all about food - my most favorite thing in the world.

Moving off the holiday...

There is a lot going on in the Strugglepants sphere. And unfortunately for you, its a lot that I can't really talk about on the Internets. Despite this being MY blog and MY little space, I feel its in everyone's best interest to keep my latest trials and tribulations off the world wide web. I am sorry - that is terribly annoying, I know. I should just avoid even mentioning that there is anything up (or down) and you would never know the difference. I should just continue ranting about running and the gym and yada yada yada, and you'd all think nothing's changed with me. BUT - I am as transparent and honest as they come and rather than mask myself by chatting about superfluous "stuff", I just want you to be aware that my life is changing.

And I couldn't be more excited.

Don't jump to any conclusions. Its probably not what you are thinking... unless, of course you are thinking that I won Powerball... in which case, I can only hope you have some insight that has not yet come true for me. Other than that... its all good.

Despite my usual fear of the unknown, I am actually looking forward to change. I am at a great place in life and I have a lot of good fortune and opportunity ahead of me.

Now, I just need to figure out how to get where I need/want to be.

Musings of the Mews

2008-11-24T14:59:00.009-05:00

I could've had the time of my life yesterday. Could've... but I'll never know.

If any of you knew I was running the Mews Gear and Beer 5k yesterday, perhaps you ~~stalked me~~ looked me up on coolrunning.com to see how I did. If you did... I am ashamed because you saw my pitiful time... pathetic, I know. But before ~~I bust a cap~~ you get too upset, please know that unless you were in the top 50 finishers of the race, the results are pretty much bogus (with the occasional exception)... their timing system is archaic, highly inaccurate, and got progressively worse as the race went on.

Also, Kevin and I had agreed to run together and so of course we started out that way. He is apparently most improved and is now entitled to run on his own so at about .25 miles, he left me in the dust. Pft. Whatever. My friend Melissa and I ran together for the remainder of the race - but I did not have my watch on because Kevin wore his and again, he was SUPPOSED to stay with us. SO... my time was measured by the inaccurate race timers.

Now, we were not going THAT fast but... we certainly did better than the 9:54s, as recorded by the officials I am positive. Want to know how positive I am? I finished about 20 yards ahead of Melissa (because I am the jerk who sprints to the finish), and on the results on CoolRunning, I am registered with a time of 30:45. First of all, I haven't ran a 30:45 5k in... EVER. My weakest 5k was in the 29 minute range. Not that there is anything wrong with a 30 minute 5k - its just not ME. Secondly, Melissa is registered with a time of 27:09. Again, she finished (que bold, italics to indicate emphasis) BEHIND me.

Two lessons learned: 1) I will never not wear my watch again and 2) I need speedwork to get faster. Point taken.

This is the second time that the timing system at a race has peeved me. I feel like I am always whining after races but if race coordinators would get their "stuff" together, I'd be much happier. I paid $20 for frustration and a rather ugly tee shirt (though long sleeve earns bonus points).

Great job to my husband who allegedly finished in 25:05. Allegedly. And to my other co-racers... way to battle that hill!!

At least we got a cute picture reveling in the afterglow, before I knew about the time debacle.

p.s. Hi Internets. I've missed you.

MIA

2008-11-17T13:05:00.002-05:00

NO, I am not about to bust out Paper Planes.

I am merely stating the obvious... that I haven't visited the blogosphere is a while. Busy, busy, busy. But all good.

I'll be back soon... I promise.

the year of change

2008-11-05T07:00:00.001-05:00

New Years schmew years. Every year begins with me making some outlandish promise to myself, which is usually a modifed version of the same goal that I set the previous year. And, of course, it always involves health and fitness. Lose weight, exercise more, eat right, blah blah blah. We've heard it all before.

Well, like every other year, when 2007 rolled into 2008, I vowed that this would be my healthiest, most accomplished year. But, unlike years past, there was something different about this approach that assured me that I could actually achieve my resolution this year and I was 100% determined to honor this committment. Now, with less than two months left in the year, I can honestly say that I am really proud of how far I've come, in regards to both diet and exercise.

I started the year extremely inspired and decided that the first step to cleaning up my act was to avoid alcohol for 2 months to allow myself the mental clarity and peace of mind that I needed to plan out the rest of my year. Not drinking was definitely a challenge (and my friends were utterly confused) but I really enjoyed the change of scenery. And, honestly it just felt natural and healthy. (And rest easy, I've since resumed drinking.)

My next goal was to put focus on fitness. I knew that if I tried to make rash adjustments in both my fitness and eating habits, I'd burn out and fall flat on my face. So, I signed up for a half marathon and devised a rigorous yet realistic 4.5 month training program. It was definitely a bit of a challenge at times, being forced to stick to a schedule and "having" to run was painful at times. But, I stuck with it all and I completed the race in May - another mission accomplished.

My next challenge was to develop a workout schedule that I could stay with FOREVER. One that was forgiving and accomodating but challenging enough to keep my body engaged. Well, add another check mark on my ambitious list of To-Dos. Its taken me almost 10 months to fully adjust to a normal, regular routine but I think I've finally got a really good thing going with my fitness lifestyle. While I may not be as quick to blog about every training session or every long or short run, I am out there, almost everyday, doing SOMETHING active. I've been going to the gym, participating in weekly pilates and bi-weekly abs classes (as you all know). I've been hitting the elliptical before my pilates and abs classes and I've been running about 3 times per week. With no "goal race" in the near future, I am content with my slow and steady pace. Its realistic and, most importantly, its working for me.

Next up... How I tackled the diet dilemma in 2008 and what goals can I set for 2009?

Iron Man

2008-11-01T07:13:00.002-04:00

One of my oldest friends, Patrick, is participating in IronMan Florida today and I am SO excited for him.

Patrick is a superb athlete in all pursuits. He's participated in half Iron Mans and at least a couple of marathons... so really, it was just a matter of time before he voyaged into full Iron Man land.

Patience and dedication have paid off. This is the culmination of a lifelong dream and many years of preparation.

This is not a eulogy, Patrick is very much alive. So let me get to the point...

Patrick, my friend - GOOD LUCK. You are an inspiration to me and I am so proud to be your friend and I wish I could be there to cheer for you. We are rooting for you from the homeland.

Kick ass and take names... I'll be tracking you!!!

complainers prevail

2008-10-28T08:47:00.009-04:00

"My" gym thankfully decided to keep the 30 Minute Abs class on the roster. I know you're all excited. I was celebrating this morning while doing upside down bosu ball planks... WOW. Or should I say... OW.

Did I really wish this upon myself?

Well, its all good. It makes up for the pilates class I take on Mondays in which I am the youngest by 20 years... and I am not joking. Not even a little. And I am including the instructor. The first time I showed up, I thought maybe it was just an older week. Clearly, the younger people must've been out partying the night before. (Evidently, not everyone finds it perfectly acceptable to spend Sunday nights buried in a bowl of ~~fudge~~ grapes, watching a marathon of Little People Big World.) But, I've gone back a handful (handful = three? four?) of Mondays, the past three in a row... and I am always the baby of the group. Not that I am complaining. These peeps are pretty hardcore and I had a tough time keeping up with the positions at first. Its just, I am sort of waiting for the instructor to inform me that the class is intended for older folks and I should probably pick another session. At which time, I'll politely make up some god-forsaken story about how I have a chronic back injury and my doctor recommended I take a less intense pilates class... and then I will never return and I will shamefully bob and weave my way through the gym anytime I spot the instructor. Ok, not really.

Speaking of, why is it you feel GUILTY when you stop taking a class for no reason other than scheduling conflicts? You feel like you are insulting the instructor and the classmates whom you only know by way of grunts and shared floor space. Yet, anytime you run into that instructor, whose class you dropped, you get all verklempt and can't bear to admit that ~~you are a lazy POS~~ you simply weren't benefitting from the class enough to sacrifice that extra hour of sleep? Nothing personal sister friend.

are you a real man?

2008-10-24T13:34:00.008-04:00

I feel it is my civic duty to put the musings of my uninteresting affairs aside and to give up my lunch break today to help out a colleague who is running a promotion in which all proceeds will go to American Cancer Society, Making Strides Against Breast Cancer.

Bid on OmniMount's hot pink Prism 50 television mount. Men, if you say pink is not your thing, quite frankly, you look like a pudding. My very hetero, 6’4”, strapping, manly man, sports enthusiast (and totally hot) husband has even embraced pink. It took a while and a little coddling but now, in his closet… a scattering of pink splattered ties. A pink button down shirt. Pink tee shirts. Even a pair of pink boxers (sorry peeps, for my eyes only). So, in the spirit of Breast Cancer Awareness Month (AKA the “month of pink”), men, I challenge you to prove your manhood… support Team OmniMount and bid for the chance to pimp out your bach pad with this one-of-a-kind piece of furniture from OmniMount… I dare you.

If the Pink Prism is not for you, support my cohort and the OmniMount team as they participate in the 2008 Making Strides Against Breast Cancer fundraiser. Donate today!

(Obviously geared at those with a disposable income... unlike my pink-friendly husband and me.)

how the economy is making me fat

2008-10-21T09:28:00.015-04:00

In an effort to cut costs and save some cash, my gym (a Gold's Gym) is cancelling a handful of its group classes.

And I am really disappointed.

I really, really like my 30 Minute Abs class (yes, I like torture as well) and this is unfortunately one of the sessions getting the axe.

If you are not familiar with Gold's, first of all lose the mental picture of greasy meatheads. The business is quality (usually!) and very accomodating to people of all fitness levels, and I have had a great experience at any location that I've been to. The franchise that I belong to has two locations in RI which are both conveniently located and are handsdown the best gyms in my area. My BFF/gym buddy lives closer to one, I live closer to the other so we take turns driving the distance on days that we workout together.

But recently, I've been annoyed with "my" location and have been heading to the other location even when BFF and I are not working out together. Reasons: its bigger, the equipment is way newer, they offer more classes, and it's all around nicer... and worth the price of gas for me to go the extra ten miles. "My" gym, though owned and run by the same crew, is not nearly as nice. It gets the job done and is a clean environment but... the equipment is on its last leg. I've given up running on the treadmills because I feel like a heffalump - the machines seem fragile. Every other elliptical I get on is broken or makes some god-awful noise. And the TVs are so outdated that you can barely make out Al Roker's mug on-screen. (And I need to know "whats happening in my neck of the woods"!)

I wouldn't be complaining if I didn't pay good money to be a member. (Actually, I currently pay nothing as my Dad gifted me a year's membership last Christmas but I know HE paid a lot of money for me to go to a NICE gym.) If I were going to the Y or some local dive gym, I'd expect nothing more. But, Gold's runs $30-40/month.

I was considering submitting an anonymous recommendation to management... politely suggesting that maybe it's time for some new gear. But, when I went to 30 minute abs this morning to learn that they are cutting corners (and classes and instructors!), I knew that my suggestion would go unheard and be a waste of time.

Honestly, I totally appreciate that businesses are hurtin' right now. I pay attention - I know what is going on. But, when your business model promotes fitness, health, and overall well being, the last thing you should skimp on are the classes and equipment that enable a healthy lifestyle... especially with cold winter months looming. I don't own a gym so I obviously don't know what the overhead is but I am sure there are other ways around this. I'd go so far as to say that I think the members would all be willing to contribute a few more dollars per month... so long as we are guaranteed updated equipment and a decent selection of classes.

I am disappointed and disgruntled today...

Scatterbories

2008-10-17T08:54:00.002-04:00

-> My mind is dull from lack of sleep... why must you Red Sox put us through such a manic process? But I love you. I really do.

-> Here's a present: $5 off $25 at Whole Foods. (You're welcome.)

-> I hate when people talk with their mouth full and I get the heeby jeebies when people chew with their mouth open. Ew.

-> Which reminds me... "You shut your mouth when you're talking to me". What movie? Winner gets a $5 Whole Foods coupon.

-> Thursday has become a double session workout day for me; 45 minutes of cardio and a 30 minute abs class in the morning and then 50 minutes of indoor soccer at night. (Refueled by draft beer. Awesome!)

-> Have you ever done THIRTY minutes of ab work? Wow. Intense... and is it a problem that after each class, my neck hurts more than my abs? HAH. I know, I know - I should not be straining my neck... and I am conscious of my form at all times but YOU do thirty minutes of abs and then tell me how to avoid straining my neck. With any hope, soon enough I will end up with something more solid than my donut cake padded middle section.

-> Mmmm... donut cake! Speaking of - I am going to the second annual Pumpapalooza tomorrow... dressing up, playing games, eating donut cake, and celebrating Pumpkin's birthday. (Pumpkin is a person... one of my favorites actually... and yes, I said Pumpkin is a person.) I'm dressing up as a runner. I know, so original, right?

-> I used to think that I was really athletic and pretty fit... and then I discovered all of you crazy marathoners, triathletes, Iron (Wo)Men... and I'm beginning to feel like a sloth. Stop being so awesome, ok? You're killing my mojo.

-> ... just kidding... truthfully you all actually motivate me everyday. Today, I am just really tired, slightly hungover (post soccer brews get me everytime), and feeling like a POS and the fact that so many peeps are running marathons this weekend makes me want to vomit. But, truthfully, I wish you all the best!! You'll rock, I am sure. And I can't wait to read all about it.

-> Last but not least... a Friday funny:

Have a wonderful weekend. GO SOX!

so cheesy

2008-10-16T08:07:00.002-04:00

So in my quest to find out which is healthier, soy or dairy, I've been overcome with an enormous amount of anxiety on the subject matter. Its really no surprise that I am experiencing anxiety because frankly, I have anxiety about anxiety and it does not take much to set me into a worrying state.

Nonetheless, today it is dairy that has me befuddled.

Its not that I've gotten much further into my Soy vs. Dairy investigation (I know you are disappointed but people, I am busy WORKING... sheesh, someone has to pay le bills), its just I have become so accutely aware of the topic that I've come to the realize how much I rely on dairy... particularly the aged variety... AKA CHEESE.

Honestly, I could go without drinking milk or pouring milk on cereal but holy mother... I seriously don't think I could go without cheese. For real. And, I don't even consider myself a cheese obsessed person. But, from grated parmesan on pasta, to shredded cheddar on a burrito, to cream cheese on a bagel, to wine & cheese, to sliced fresh mozarella on a pizza, to crumbled gorg on a salad... I make my rounds with curdled dairy and can safely say I am a cheese whore.

Don't interpret my above menu selections as greasy fried fatness... I am not DOUSING food with cheese. Its more of an accoutrement, if you will. Usually (as in, this does not include random nacho escapades), my diet is low in fat, high in fiber, and chock full of fruits & veggies. And, cheese is consumed in moderation (except on nachos... then it is heaping... but that is neither here nor there). No problem then, right? The problem is not in one meal or serving, its the fact that I eat it multiple times per day and I still WONDER why my love handles will not fade. Hmmm...

I am not yet making the claim that cheese is either HEALTHY or UNHEALTHY (like wine and caffeine, two staples in my diet, the jury is still out). For now, I still live in the everything-in-moderation school of thought. But, if in my research I DO discover that cheese is in no way healthy for you, I don't know what I am going to do. There are simply no substitutions for quality cheese. No soy or vegan imitation can replace such a delicately crafted fare. I am an open-minded chick... but on this, there is no argument. (In other words, don't even try.)

six at six

2008-10-10T18:00:00.003-04:00

I've been tagged by 2 fabulous running chickadees: le Chic Runner (Danica) and le Happy Runner (Felice) to list 6 random things about myself. Thank you ladies! :)

This is a bit of a struggle since I am random by nature but here goes...

1. I have this bazaar and insane fear of frogs. Yes, I know - frogs are cute and harmless (well, at least the ones that live in New England) and they are much more afraid of me than I should be of them. However, I don't like their spontaneous style. Hippity hoppity is NOT for me. And, I swear the frogs (toads?) can SENSE my fear because they insist on scaring the bejebus out of me... when I am walking down the driveway en route to get the mail, collect the trash barrels, or hop in my car. Out of nowhere, froggy hops right across my feet and sends me into a squeeling tither. They NEVER go near the hub and he LIKES frogs. Ugh.

2. I like my job. A lot. I work for a very cool company with very cool people and we make a very cool product (well, I don't make a gottdamn thing except literature and marketing "stuff" that supports the very cool products). And, I get to work from home. Telecommuting in my sweats, with my pup at my feet.

3. I play indoor soccer once per week in a women's league. While I like to say that I am an athlete, I am actually not very "good" at soccer. Clearly I can run and have a decent amount of speed and endurance. But footskills? Notsomuch. I play to keep in shape and get in some quality time with my chicas (I'm really in it for the post-game beers).

4. I don't like to swear. I don't do it all that often and when I do, I sound terribly awkward. I annunciate too much. Swears need to roll off the tongue. With me, they don't. I actually write swears more than I speak them because you can't tell that it would SOUND awkward. However, I am always down for the sort of swears - like "shitake" and "gottdamn" and "pain in the arse" and "mother trucker".

5. I've rediscovered my love for Pandora. You should too.

6. My friends frequently ask me questions and expect me to have the answer. Not questions about ME, but questions about life and random things that may have no relevance to me or my interests or my profession but for some reason, they think I will know. So... since they have so much faith and dependency, even if I don't have the answer, I make stuff up... that makes enough sense to SOUND like I have the answer. Its been going on all of my life. I don't know why people think I would know how to solve all of their woes but if me being a bullshitter (swear!) helps them, I am all for it. It sort of makes me want to start my own Delilah-esque radio show... although I won't try to make you love Jesus. God is definitely not my avenue of expertise.

no excuses

2008-10-08T18:25:00.002-04:00

Frankly, I've been avoiding the running topic because well, its been too lackadaisical to really even talk about. A run here and there. No real effort exerted. I've been... dare I say "jogging"?

Hand to forehead. Ghasp. Faint.

Honestly, I am NOT making excuses but I did have some "stuff" going on that I needed to handle with care. Its all good now... but it demanded some caution and that meant I had to sacrifice my routine... which led to lethargy and putting everything off "until tomorrow".

But, now I am healed and with winter approaching, if I don't step up my fitness game, I might as well slap on the bear suit, take stock in honey (but nothing else because evidently the economy is going to hell) and hibernate my way through many, many episodes of How I Met Your Mother, Boston Legal, and Jon & Kate Plus 8... mixed with the occasional episode of Biggest Loser to remind myself JUST how much of a slacker I am.

That is getting way ahead of myself. I am still close enough to "in-shape" that within a couple of weeks, I'll be back up to my half marathoning self.

Here are my goals to protect myself from packing on the winter pounds!

- Kick it up a notch - For the past 2 months, I've observed NO schedule, NO program, and have made NO progress. Duh. The thing is... I am not really training for anything right now. I am simply running to run which is an absolute wonderful way to live but it is too complacent for me and it allows me to slip and push things off to TOMORROW. Well folks - today is tomorrow and all the slacking ended on Sunday(with homemade apple pie).

- Be healthy - Its really not about "looking good", its about feeling good... and this is NOT achieved with exercise alone (though I wish it was because oreos + me = BFFs). What I really want is to adopt an eating and exercising lifestyle that is healthy and balanced. I love me some junk food. I also love vegetables and healthy choices. I plan to dive more into those Skinny Bitch philosophies and figure out a plan that works for me.

- Switch it up - I am going to integrate A LOT of variety into my winter fitness life. Spin, elliptical, pilates, core stregth, etc. I've been doing the running and calisthenics thing for the past few months and honestly, I am somewhat uninspired and have a very difficult time going to the gym during the warmer months. But now that it is getting colder, I'll get more into the cross training which will help to keep me interested.

- Buddy system - I've enlisted my gym buddy and BFF, Melissa, to help me get my sh*t together. While she is quite possibly half my size, she is eager to be more active and build more muscle. And, everyone knows that working out is always more fun with a friend. If nothing else, we have a good time picking out her potential husbands at the gym.

- Challenge Myself! Viv over at Excuse #1 I'm Not Fit to Run has instituted yet anotehr fabulous weight loss challenge. And while I am not aiming to lose all that much, a challenge is JUST what I need to stay motivated. I've thrown my hat in the ring.

These goals are ambitious but realistic. The real challenge for me will be to maintain at least the fitness side of the equation through the holidays... the eating/diet side? Eh, we'll see how that goes.

Winner!

2008-10-06T13:53:00.005-04:00

I won! I won!

Thank you to Amy & Tom for selecting me as the winner of the Free Stuff Giveaway. I participated in the "What advice, tips and cheers do you have for your friends and family who join you as spectators?" forum and offered up the following (winning) advice:

Spectators are the best part of a race. Rules for my cheering section:

1. Cheer loudly - If I am wearing my iPod, I need you to yell over Vampire Weekend in order to hear you.

2. Tell me I look strong - Even at my weakest moments, if you tell me I at least LOOK the part, it is fuel for my dwindling motivation.

3. Call me by your favorite nickname - SJ Goody, Bim, Sah, Putz, Struggles, Momo... whatever it may be. I love terms of endearment.

4. Bring me a present - Whether it is a Propel, a chocolate treat, a kiss... bring me something.

5. Make me a sign - Nuff said.

6. Carry my lip balm - My lips are eternally chapping when I run and I hate to put chapstick in my shorts pocket because it gets all soft.

7. Trip all the runners in front of me - That is TOTALLY a joke. Don't do that. But DON'T you dare cheer for them. Ok, I am kidding again. I want you to cheer for everyone. I expect you to be voiceless when I cross the finish line.

And, the most important rule of spectatorship...

8. Have Fun - Support ALL of the runners. Get into it. I want MY supporters to be known as one of the funnest groups to encourage runners. And I don't want you there all grumpy and obligated. :)

Those words of wisdom won me a pair of shorts and a singlet from Race Ready. Yahoo! I am a huge fan of shorts with pockets so I can't wait to try them out.

Coincidentally, I had an epiphany this weekend. I realized that I've been running too lackadaisically lately and that I need to get my act together and develop a program... even though I don't have any significant goals or races on the horizon. So, winning this giveaway is great fuel for my refound motivation... NO MORE EXCUSES.

Thanks Runners Lounge! Thanks Race Ready!

on all things sexy

2008-10-03T07:48:00.002-04:00

Ok, pervs... there is NOTHING sexy about this post... but now that you're here... Happy Friday peeps!

Things of note this week:
- I went to Greenwich, Connecticut yesterday for the first time in my life. I was quite intrigued by this extremely affluent town which had dealerships for Bentley, Lamborghini, Ferrari, Maserati, Aston Martin... pretty much all exclusive luxury cars, all on the same strip. With a number of these cars floating around the town, I started to look at the little Audis, BMWs, and Volvos as the chump mobiles. As if? I was glad to get the heck out of there before I drank too much of their material punch. (And let it be known, I am much more comfortable in my Volkswagen-and-GAP-are-as-designer-as-I-get world.)

- By the way, did I spell all those luxmobiles correctly... especially the Lambo? I hate it when there are unnecessary Hs in words... except in the instance of SaraH. It is ENTIRELY necessary and dignifying in this instance thankyouverymuch.

- A couple of days ago, I read a great article on CNN touting some useful tips for women to avoid getting sick, especially with flu season lurking around the corner (or here now, for some). I generally don't read too much into these fluffery articles but the advice is at least interesting and quite appealing (think: massages!).

- What's your take on Twittering? I've had an account for a while but I never really used it. A couple of friends recently jumped on and it inspired me to get more into it (hi Twitter friends) but between the Facebook status update and blogging, I am sort of disinterested in this particular social network phenom. I don't really get it...

- Running? Yes, I have been, thanks for asking. I am not training for anything at the moment so I am reveling in running for fun and running with the hub. It is AWESOME. And I have also been trying to get back into a gym routine because with ~~hell~~ winter right around the corner, I need to get used to treadmill and elliptical life.

- Evidently, I miss summer already. But, I am sort of happy about the fall season... basically for all things apple-related (Coincidentally, we live in Apple Valley). Apple picking. Wearing sweaters... and hiking boots to go apple picking. Getting hot cider... while apple picking. AND, I am most excited about apple pie making. I have been known to concoct a pretty fantastic apple pie. Yum.

- An update on the "big ow wii" - Due to the injury and Wii incident, Kevin, the poor guy, had to go to Urgent Care for an emergency procedure on his finger. **If you're prone to quease, leave now.** The swelling on the finger was so bad that his nail had begun to lift away from the hand and his finger was turning black. It was disgusting. So, he went to Urgent Care where they laser drilled a hole in his fingernail... through the fingernail... so the blood could be released... and they had to drain it out, by squeezing it (eww). He still has a hole in the nail (gross) but is expected to make a full recovery. Wii has since been nailed to the basement entertainment center so there is NO temptation to bring it upstairs.

That is all from me. I am off to Boston to visit my 10K(atie)... and root on the Sox. Ciao.

hypocrital "bitch"

2008-09-30T23:27:00.004-04:00

Last week, in my 2nd post about milk v. soy, I mentioned that I started reading the book Skinny Bitch. The book is a quick read (even for a slow reader, like me) and while I haven't yet read cover-to-cover, I have jumped around enough to get a handle on their message and to realize that being a skinny bitch doesn't automatically mean that you're also dumb.

At the time of my post last week, after about 4 chapters of skeptically reading their vegan mantra, I thought I was "all done" with reading it. I appreciated what the authors had to offer, as die-hard vegans but, I was convinced that the book encouraged a ridiculously complicated and unrealistic (and expensive) lifestyle.

Not for me.

(Or so I thought.)

Throughout the past week, I've found myself referencing the very book which I wrote-off in everday conversation with my hub, family, friends, etc. Its become a primary topic of conversation with my Dad who is a very health-conscious guy (and a Weight Watchers leader) with a wealth of knowledge and quite a few macrobiotic cooking classes under his belt. He has a grasp on the caloric and nutritional values of most food and it is interesting to compare notes and hear his perspective. (Hello Pops!)

I also have been talking extensively about my prelim research on soy, dairy, and these skinny biznatches with Kevin (over dinner, as we take down meatballs, clearly not committed to any sort of veganhood). We're both extremely interested in health and wellness and are eager to find an eating lifestyle that is realistic and healthy... but allows for wonderful things like rice krispie treats (BTW, as easy as they are to make, Kevin can MESS up a rice krispie treat... I am now convinced he actually CAN make them just fine but he's intentionally spoiled 2 batches of RKT just so next time, when he wants them and I tell him to make them, he can say... but you make them so much better... so he can resume TV watching and I can slave over the hot stove... for all of the 10 minutes it takes to make them. loveyoukev but I am onto you!).

I digress.

Back to my bitches.

Since last week, each night, I've picked up le bitch book and have re-read sections that stuck out in my mind or have gotten sucked into a new chapter and have learned something disgustingly new and eye-opening.

So, while I started out sort of dismissing this book after the first glance, my perspective on food has actually shifted a bit. And I am interested in what they have to say and learning more about some of their claims and findings. Not that I have stopped eating my share of carnivorous delights or sweetastic indulgences... but I am thinking more about it when I eat.

And... I have since purchased Skinny Bitch in the Kitch.

Bitches, you're reeling me in with all your no-nonsense, cut-to-the-chase ness of your series. "You... you're good, you." (In my best DeNiro in Analyze This voice.) The good news is, while the book may be seeping into my psyche, in shape and heart, I am still Sarah Plain and Tall - and she ain't no Skinny Bitch.

Friday Fun - Wordle

2008-09-26T11:54:00.005-04:00

This about sums up strugglepants...

a big ow wiiii

2008-09-24T08:47:00.007-04:00

Saturday night we had a bunch of friends over to play games, drink (heavily), and eat disgusting amounts of donut cake. Game night started at the table, playing 7/11/doubles, a dice game. Eventually, this "rolled" into a card game called Kings which involves drawing a card from the face down pile and being subjected to antics such as four to the floor (place your hand on the table when someone draws a four - last person to do so loses), five to the sky (raise your hand when someone draws a five - last person to do so loses), nine nine bust a rhyme (start a rhyme when you draw a nine... first person that is unable to rhyme with the phrase loses). The point of Kings is to not draw the last king. You are penalized by having to drink a full beer - generally a microbrew or some non-light variety.

(And yes, we're very sophisticated. And no, we're not in college anymore.)

By now, its probably evident that the spirits were flowing on Saturday night.

From the card game, it was decided that video games were in order. Half the group wanted to play RockBand. The other half wanted to play Wii. There were about 15-20 of us so this actually made more sense than all of us trying to play ONE game. However, both of the game systems have been moved to our finished basement, in the dedicated gaming room, complete with a ginormo TV and plenty of room to rock or Wii-out.

Before I even got the chance to suggest that we move RockBand upstairs to the living room (in front of the beautiful flat panel, and bass booming speakers - great for rocking), Kevin was hooking up the Wii to the upstairs TV. Hastily, I ran over and made my suggestion - partly because I wanted to rock with the sound system but MOSTLY because I was afraid of what harm a bunch of drunk guys playing Wii in front of my beautiful 40" LCD could cause. Kevin assured me it would be fine and shooed me to the basement...

I left him uneasily... I was not really a happy camper. But, I didn't really let it get to me. We were both having fun.

So - I hit the basement to get RockBand going... with Goody on a Saturday Night, my band. We were jamming away, all switching instruments between songs, playing nicely together, letting everyone have a turn. I sang Weezer's Say it at So like fricking Rivers Cuomo himself. Amazing.

After a good set with my band, I needed a break and went upstairs in search of a snack. As I was noshing on some chips and spinach/artichoke dip, I peaked in the living room to see a quiet game of bowling in session. I thought, Aw, that is nice and quiet and harmless.

And then...

I looked at the light fixture on the ceiling.

Um... guys??? Where is the light fixture... you know the glass part, the bulb, ANY OF IT?

All eyes turned to Kevin who looked at me with the PLEASEDONTHURTME look.

Keevvvinnn? What happened?

He then gave me this long winded story on how he was playing tennis and he is too tall and so he went to swing and was following through because thats what good tennis players do, they follow through and he clipped the light with his hand and it shattered.

You might guess that I flipped out and said I told you so and all that jazz. But no, I did not. I simply said - Well, looks like football Sunday is going to be spent going to Lowes and fixing the light. Sucks for you.

Scolded, he nodded and earnestly agreed. (Though I knew nothing would come between him and Sunday football.)

And then, he showed me his hand. Kevin's hand v. light fixture - light fixture wins. Basically his middle fingernail got whacked between the Wii-mote and the light fixture so immediately, his nail turned to black and his finger started to swell. It looked like someone took the Acme Anvil to his fingertip. Part of me felt bad but part of me wanted to say "I told you so" so very badly.

I resisted the urge and just shrugged it off and resumed my RockBand playing.

Four days later and Kevin's finger looks pretty disgusting. The picture doesn't even do it justice but it is GROSS, trust me.

But, in the face of pain, he learned an important lesson this weekend...

I. Am. Always. Right.

(And my light fixture is still not fixed. I caved a little bit. He IS sorry and he IS pretty cute. Plus, who was I supposed to watch the Pats get there asses kicked with?)

moooooover over.

2008-09-23T08:18:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I introduced my preliminary findings on the soy controversy.To make sure I am exhausting all angles of these arguments, I also wanted to address the theories on the dairy side... since many people look at soy as a dairy supplement.

I am all about the sensationlist and radical approach to advocating one side or the other. Stand up for what you believe. In addition to a number of credible sources, I've tapped into a slew of less reliable sources because outside of the scientific evidence, there are a number of legitmate, opinion based claims for both sides.

In the soy corner...

Naturally, there are the vegans. For the most part, this demographic follows a vegan lifestyle because they are also animal activists and environmentalists promoting what they call a "cruelty free lifestyle". A small minority of vegans are vegans simply because they don't dig animal byproducts - in taste, texture, or concept. Regardless of their reasoning, none of them consume "flesh foods", dairy and eggs, fur, leather, wool, down, and cosmetics or chemical products tested on animals.

Then there are the milk nazis... (no milk for you) that I've discovered!

You know the Got Milk? ads, adorned with the latest favored pop culture icons? Well, the USA Today article (linked above) identifies some misconceptions that the dairy council has "steered" us to believe... regarding the link between milk consumption and weight loss... which was marketing genius. We all go weak in the knees for the latest weight loss fix.

Then the Googs led me to this gem...Milk Sucks. Along with a variety of clickable buttons (Got Pus?, Scary Dairy Tales, Don't be a milk sucker) the homepage of this advocacy cites the "Harvard School of Public Health, on the Consumption of Dairy Products (2005)"

“The recommendation to drink three glasses of low-fat milk or eat three servings of other dairy products per day to prevent osteoporosis is another step in the wrong direction. … Three glasses of low-fat milk add more than 300 calories a day. This is a real issue for the millions of Americans who are trying to control their weight. What's more, millions of Americans are lactose intolerant, and even small amounts of milk or dairy products give them stomachaches, gas, or other problems. This recommendation ignores the lack of evidence for a link between consumption of dairy products and prevention of osteoporosis. It also ignores the possible increases in risk of ovarian cancer and prostate cancer associated with dairy products."

How about two of societies most popular vegan advocates? Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin... Skinny Bitches, if you will. I just recently began reading Skinny Bitch. (Hear me out.) Misinformed, I thought this book was going to be about tactical ways to avoid crappy foods and to keep up with exercise. But basically, it evangelizes Veganism... which is all fine and well but I quickly learned, I do not fit this mold nor am I going to be a "Skinny Bitch" by their standards because I LOVE MEAT... and a lot of the other crap they advise NOT to eat.

I also thought the book was going to be a little lighter spirited, from sorority-esque chicks. But - on the positive side, they are very well informed, educated, and apparently did a lot of research to formulate this "no nonsense, tough love guide". Its a little too intense for my liking. (However, in another one of their books, Skinny Bitch in the Kitch, they created an amazing and "healthy" recipe for chocolate chip cookies using a base of sugar in the raw, wheat flour, water, coconut oil, and molasses. My sister in law made them yesterday and they are AMAZING.)

As much as I sort of despise the book (for telling me to avoid things like sugar, caffeine, and meat, and basically all things fabulous... and processed) the most interesting segment I have found, is as their take on dairy. This excerpt is taken from an interview on The Diet Channel, not directly from the book.

"When we have babies, we breastfeed them, and then at a certain point, we stop. We don’t breastfeed our grown children, or our husbands or friends, for that matter. It is exactly the same for cows and every other mammal on the planet. They produce milk when they give birth, they feed their young, and then they stop. We are the only species on the planet that drinks the milk of another species. We are the only species on the planet that drinks milk as adults. Why? Because the multi-million dollar dairy industry has convinced us that we need milk for healthy bones. That without cows’ milk, we will shrivel up or shatter. However, Yale researchers found that countries with the highest dairy and meat intakes also suffer the highest osteoporosis rates. The truth is, we can get adequate calcium from leafy greens, vegetables, raw nuts and seeds, and beans. And again, these foods come without the hormones, steroids, and antibiotics found in dairy."

Interesting perspective, right?

In the book they go on to cite a number of other sources and what nots... such as (I am paraphrasing) saying that while our doctors may recommend dairy intake... in general, doctors only go through 3 total hours of nutritional training in medical school. (Seems proposterous for 8 years of training.) However, I am not going to jump off the dairy cart just yet. I love me some milk... and all things dairy. And I am of the moderation school of thought. Everything in moderation is a-ok (and don't go taking that literally... obviously there are exceptions).

Its early in my research (next on my list... what is a herbivore?) but so far, I am going to stick with my dairy intake...and I am also going to continue my soy intake.

Its rather inconclusive at this point.

So there.

My latest soy obsession is Silk Chocolate SoyMilk. It is like a glorified (and fortified) Yoo-Hoo! Its rich, chocolatey, and not too sweet. Its an amazing flavor. At 3.5 fat grams per serving, its a little heavier than I prefer but GOOD NEWS... today, at my grocery store, I discovered that there is a "Light" variety of the Chocolate flavor and it contains only 1.5 fat grams per 8 ounce serving. PERFECTO!! Its a great treat for a post-run recovery or when I am craving something sweet.

soy what?

2008-09-22T07:38:00.005-04:00

I am sort of obsessed with soy right now.

I am not lactose intolerant... in the least. In fact, I love dairy - milk, cheese, yogurt, cheese, etc. Nor am I a vegetarian. I love meat.

But, little by little, as soy products are becoming increasingly more mainstream and are hidden as an ingredient in almost every aisle of every grocery store, I've started adding more of this edible legume into my diet... whether it be through the entire bag of edamame beans that I can house in a single sitting (its the salt) or in the prepared teriyaki tofu bits at Whole Foods or from my adored Bolthouse Vanilla Chai Soy Protein drink... I am hooked on soy.

Soy soy soy. Its everywhere you turn. Coffee houses, grocery stores, restaurants... I think I even saw a soy drink at a rest stop recently. Great for the lactose intolerant and vegans of the world. It is so much more accomodating than back in the day when these folks had to go to specialty stores to get their bare necessities.

To become a better informed soy intaker, I decided I should probably do some research. And, like most twenty somethings (the smart ones, at least), when I am interested in learning more about a topic, I turn to my favorite search engine: The Google. (I could've said Wikipedia and made this that much more reliable.)

So I Google soy. It came as quite a surprise that the first page of returns is mostly regarding the potential harms of soy. As far as I knew, soy was all the rage in the organic, health nut circle. Well, outside of that (pea)pod exists an equally boistrous community who are protesting these benefits and issuing warnings to soy lovers.

Apparently, I've only been surface level with this soy craze and there are a myriad of theories out there.

I mean, I know there are virtually 2 sides to every coin and that in our lifetime, not much exists without controversy. But, I guess I never even considered soy a threat... and, like most, I put my life in the hands of the FDA.

What? They won't protect me?

In any case, some of the interesting first page Google returns include:
Why Soy Can Damage Your Health (which links soy to things like cancer and brain damage.)
Is soy healthy?
Soy Alert!
More soy less sperm

And my personal favorite...

Soy is making kids gay - this is quite an exhaustive series of articles claiming that soy is "feminizing and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality".

Good gravy.

In my initial research, I've learned that soy contains isoflavones which can simulate estrogen but to make the claim that the bean is in fact making kids gay? Wow.

I have only just begun my investigation... but I am extremely fascinated at the amount of radical information out there on the Internets. And, for now, I feel no threat in continuing my limited but daily soy consumption.

Stay tuned.

my favorite running blogs...

2008-09-18T07:06:00.005-04:00

This week, for the Runner's Lounge Take it and Run Thursday series, they’ve asked us to share our favorite running blogs. I've decided to accomplish this with my 1st ever, "Writer with a Running Problem" awards. Read on...

There are a number of things that inspire me to run: health, fitness, well-being, vanity, competition, etc. But, one less obvious source of inspiration I tap into is the blogging community. Generally (when life is in a normal, non-crazy, non-traveling state), I start my day with a cup of coffee and my favorite bloggers. It's nice sharing breakfast with people I don't even know... but what I really value is relating to all of these various writers in some capacity. Especially the runners. I totally dig the slew of lifestyle blogs I read and definitely appreciate that life exists outside of running (shocking, I know) but, in a more religious way, I sort of rely on running blogs... to get me through whatever struggle I am dealing with. Whether it be learning about a new training strategy or relating to some bazaar encounters on a running route, I find so much enjoyment and inspiration in these blogs.

With that humble and generic tribute to le running blogging community, I now present to you the...
2008 Writers with a Running Problem (awards!)

I signed up for this? Marcy's blog is generally the first read I catch in the morning... she is comically reliable. Not only will she almost ALWAYS have a daily post up by the time I settle in to read, she has a way of delivering the seemingly uninteresting elements of running in an unfiltered and amusing way. Marcy gets the award for "Most Straight Up".

Frayed Laces - I relate a lot to Frayed... and she is super inspiring. Rebounding from a serious injury to be a stronger competitor than ever... and she is sort of crazy (in a good way, of course) with her spur of the moment "long runs". She gets the "I live in Hawaii and run with a cool tribe and StrugglePants is envious" award. No - for real, she gets the "Learn By Doing Athlete" award... she'll throw herself into any situation and defeat or success, she has progressed.

Feet Meet Street - How could one make a list of favorite running blogs without including Nitmos? Though sometimes I need a dictionary to get through his posts, he always has me laughing. And, is it strange that I feel smarter after reading about his antics? The award for "Most Witty Runner" ~~should go to his wife~~ goes to Nitmos.

Absoult(ly) Fit - Oh Laura Laura Laura and her travels, crazy diets, and spontaneous racing. There is evidently never a dull moment in this chickadee's life. And, I am continuously amazed at how seemingly well she eats and exercises while traveling for work. I... am not so good at that. My "Most Maniacal Running Blogger" award goes to Laura!

Pieces of Me - To me, POM comes off as a no-nonsense kinda chick... who works hard and plays hard. Like me. Her devotion to fitness, health, and Bikram is not so like me but definitely inspire me to keep trucking. And, I think her iPod and my iPod could get along splendidly. The award for Hippest ~~and by Hippest I mean Sassiest~~ Running Blogger goes to POM.

Steve in a Speedo?! Gross - This dude is hilarious. With his bowl of sunshine shorts and his super fast skills, I never fail to find amusement in his posts. My particular favorite was the toilet dunking sock experiment... ugh. Steve gets the award for "Most Unafraid Running Blogger".

Just Running For Fun - D10, a Rhody native is super inspiring to me. She is a mom and a worker and she manages to make time for all of this quality running. I can't make time to take a shower on some days and I work from home and don't have any dependents. :( So, with that, D10 gets the "You're Just Running for Fun But You Still Manage to Run Wicked Fast" award (wicked = tribute to RI).

21 Days - Jess has turned an experiment into a lifestyle... and a humorous outlet for me! My favorite posts are definitely drunken bowling night posts. I especially like to translate the garbled typing. Its like a puzzle and a good read, all in one. The StrugglePants award for "Most Down to Earth Running Blogger" goes to this chick.

Boozehounds Running - In my humble opinion, Viper has mad writing skills (... yo). Sometimes I find more enjoyment in the style of writing than I do the content. And while I love reading the Friday back talks and about track sessions... and about alcohol related activities, I just really like the delivery. Boozehound gets the award for "Most Stylistic ~~Drunk~~ Running Writer".

Speaking of Style... one of the best bloggers who is also a runner... has to be ...

The Typing Makes me Sound Busy - This girl and her dog and her sister and her day job at the shoe store and her run-ins with all walks of life... it never gets old. And it is always hysterical. She gets the award for "Blog Posts are Worthy of a Novel". (That's tribute and testimony right there.)

My Honorable Mentions include blogs I read on a daily basis and whom I feel that I sort of kinda know... like in a way that I might reference one of their posts to my real life friends who don't blog nor do they run... but... anyway its nothing but love around here! :)
Runners Rambles - Aron is Most Motivated, for sure!
Ambitious Aspirations - Most Optimistic (with a super cute puppy!)
Excuse #1 I'm Not Fit to Run - Most Inspiring me to "Tri"
Training for a Half - For single handedly making me want to run up hilly trails...
Runners Lounge - Bringing crazy, introverted, extroverted, uninspired, overinspired, Writers with a Running Problem together since 2007.

Even if I don't get to read or comment everyday, the musings of these writers are frequently jogging through my brain as I search for inspiration to lace up my sneaks and get my ass out the door. And there are so many more blogs that I am getting into, as evident in my rolling log over there... on the right. Yep, right there. Its so great to share, relate, and learn with all of you.

And THAT concludes the 2008 Writer with a Running Problem presentation... brought to you by:

(me, of course.)

...about that running

2008-09-16T20:21:00.001-04:00

This weekend, life returned to what I like to call "normal".

I had Friday off (for the most part... I showed my work face in the wee hours of the day to "tie up loose ends") - WOO HOO! Kevin had a half day so after I scraped the cob webs out of my brain and touched base on the workfront, I dug into some serious housekeeping. Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting. I had intended to get to the bookstore in the morning for a cup of coffee and to purchase a new book (naturally). But, Suzy Homemaker got the better of me and took me right until 12:30pm... when Kevin walked in the door... and the weekend began!

To kick off our weekend, we headed down to the southern part of RI for a non-home based run... and a change of scenery. We planned to run and then sponge bath ourselves clean (we are so classy) and check out a new restaurant in this hood (Trio, for RI natives).

We arrived at the start of our 5 mile run at 1:45pm, ready to go. The running route lead us along a sea wall, by the beach, and over the river. Having lived in this area for nearly 10 years, it was so nice to run in such a familiar and pristine area. It smelled of fresh cut grass and salt air. The course is relatively flat and wide enough for us to run side-by-side, talking all the while. 5 miles breezed by and before long, we were racing down the sea wall, sprinting to our finish. Despite the distance and strong finish... its amazing how much cooler the air is and how little we sweat... as we move into fall (gulp!).

We plopped into the car, intent to hit the local restroom for a quick change into something more suitable for dinner (Kevin wore his short shorts for this run). But when we looked at the clock in the car, it was barely 3pm. Now, we've gotten pretty tame with age but... as far as I am concerned dinner at 3pm is still reserved for a class that I won't be a part of for oh, lets say... 40 years! SO... we decided to head home and shower, get dressed, and do Friday date night RIGHT.

We hit one of our favorite local places, had dinner at the bar, ventured to the bookstore after dinner and were STILL home by 8pm. Man, we are SO WILD. It doesn't get much crazier than this. ("...I got a big day tomorrow... we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah... Maybe Bed, Bath, and Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time." What movie?) I am not complaining... a low key weekend was in order.

Saturday we had intended to hike Arcadia - a local park - and do the whole picnic thing... but as the morning progressed and the sky grew more gray, our motivation dwindled. So we settled on doing a few errands, going on a mad grocery store binge, and running together. Since Arcadia was my idea, Kevin let me map the running route. I mapped a route that was 6 miles long but in fear of telling Kevin we were going to run anything over 5, I lied and told him it was 5.5... but that we could walk the last half mile.

Well, unannounced to me... Kevin has gotten FAST since he started running again just a few months ago. DAMN SKIPPY. And then there is me who has been lagging with the running regularly due to work and life getting in the way (and some physical issues we won't talk about but that are all better now thankyouverymuch). So while I've been tending to my career and well-being, Kevin has been training harder than I've ever known him to. And, honey... its paying off.

I mapped the route but he was the leader of the run... he likes to run first because at 6'4", he thinks cars will see him before me... and he is protecting me. He really is that sweet. (Don't worry Kev, I won't mention the fact that you also think its fantastic to drop SBD farts in my wake paired with the occasional loogie spray.)

At about mile four, I imagined Kevin would start to fade - and honestly, I was looking forward to slowing down or walking. Generally 4 is HIS max, not mine. However, the tables have turned. As I struggled to keep step with my fearless leader, he was chatting up a storm, breezing up and down the hills while I contemplated telling him to go on without me... seriously, who am I?! Then... I made the mistake of fueling this fire by praising him and all his fastness. "Dude... you've gotten FASTER!" I said. He swiveled his head around, exorcist style, and looked at me with so much enthusiasm... you'd think I just told him we won the powerball. "I have?!" he asked... I then realized my mistake as I would not hear the end of it... for the rest of the weekend. And, it only inspired him to go faster. Oye vey. But - I truly am so proud of him. And, boys are supposed to be faster than their girls, right? I know, I know... pish posh. Kevin and I are entirely too competitive for each other sometimes so now that the playing field is almost level... it'll be interesting to see how we progress.

He stubbed his toe on Saturday night and hasn't been able to run since. A gloating omen? However, I am back in the groove and have run almost everyday... I will not be surpassed!!!

Sunday we were supposed to go for another non home based run but the toe injury and down pours prohibited us... and led to a lazy ass Sunday of football and Sox watching. I made a vat of turkey chili and Kevin made some incredible almond cookies... and we just vegged. I couldn't have asked for a better weekend.

Is it Friday yet? Seriously.

cruising altitude daydreams

2008-09-10T20:08:00.003-04:00

I sat on the plane, in the middle seat (lovely), smooshed betwixt two fellows. One had a copy of PC World and some uber fancy gadget attached to his ear buds. (He clearly was not in the talking mood. Thank heavens!) The other had nothing. Not a bag. Not a book. Not a beverage. He sat arms folded across his chest and glanced in my direction, indicating he was interested in conversation. He seemed like a nice man and figuring that we were going to share a very tight space for the next few hours, I entertained him for a minute, musing about my week spent in Denver, evidence of hard work written all over my face, embedded in my filthy nails and scraggly hair. You spent too much time partyin out here, he suggested in his southern Ohio drawl. Oh no, not nearly enough, I retorted. I was "helping" my colleagues tear down our trade show booth until 2am last night... this (pointing to my face and hair) is dedication. He laughed, indicating that the exhaustion was evident, convinced I was speaking the truth.

Determined to make up for tons of lost sleep, I nodded towards my ear buds, said goodnight (it was 10am) and concluded our conversing by pressing play on "mellow" the playlist. I then proceeded to fold my body forward, resting my head atop my pillow which was propped on top of my arms, folded on my legs. (There really is not much other option of sleeping comfortably when you have the middle seat.) As we rose into the air, gaining on our cruising altitude, I began to doze and tried to push visions of the week that was from my mind.

To no avail...
- Besides the fact that I look like a ragamuffin and no shower can clean the hard work off of me right now, I am pretty fricking awesome. The press conference was one of the most well attended press events I have ever executed. Not from a quantity perspective... but quality. I had editor in chiefs and prominent writers from some of my industry's largest publications. Despite some logistical errors (mic not working), all went off without a hitch. I've done good.

- As much as I feel sorry about not having as much fun as I usually do at industry events, I am very proud of our company, our team, and my self. We got so much accomplished and while there is always so much more to do, we all dug our heels in, sacrificed sleep and "networking" to focus on what was really important. (One benefit... I did not miss the hangover!)

- But man... OH MAN... did I miss my husband!? There was one point that I was headed on a bathroom break and nearly lost it. I almost actually cried. It was bazaar. But, I missed him incredibly this trip... moreso than ever. You'd think it would get easier the more I travel... but 6 years later, it seems tougher than the first trip. We've had some emotional things go on in our life this past month and being away from him during this time... it was not easy. I could not wait to get home.

- Thankfully, so many of my "industry friends" have become much more like personal friends and while I used to resist breaking down these walls, its becoming a welcomed relationship. I needed friends this week.

- I also needed food, sleep, and running. I can't wait to get back to running and eating like a normal person. Unintentionally, I am of the starvation school when it comes to traveling for work. So many people who travel for business on a regular basis actually "complain" of overindulging at five star restaurants (high-end steak houses, boutique french places, trendy sushi joints, etc). They miss the comfort foods of home and normalcy. However, I love the opportunity to eat fancy and I rarely get tired of it. Its probably because I go to all of these places and rarely "indulge". When you're committed to working such long days, heavier meals could have a negative impact on one's stomach so I tend to order the lightest fare on the menu and am generally too distracted with conversation (or keeping my head up) to eat much of it. Its not on purpose... it just is. And during the day, eating always plays second fiddle to managing the daily tasks and holding down the fort that is known as our booth. So, the fact that I only managed to run once while in Denver is negated by the fact that my diet would not have supported any further exercise... outside of the 37 miles I walked per day traversing tens of thousands of square feet in Denver. Back and forth. Up and down. Over and out.

- Bazaarly, I get sort of depressed when this particular show comes to an end. Its sort of like the day after Christmas depression. I walk the show floor as people are tearing down their booth spaces... and I relate it to my Mom taking down the Christmas tree, decorations, and stockings. Another year done and we have to wait a whole year more for the next go-round. Santa is on his way back to the North Pole, leaving us with all of the new toys to play with... and another year of due diligence, pledging our devotion to goodness.

- Ahh, my ears are popping... we must be making our initial descent into the Providence area. I think I'll scrape my head off my pillow, unfold my body, and thank jeebus I made it home safely.

Home at last, home at last.

the crazy has only just begun

2008-09-01T18:34:00.003-04:00

I am jetsetting my way to Denver at 6am tomorrow morning... off and running to my company's biggest event of the year. This is the 7th year I've attended this show and as much as I loathe being away from home (and Kev and Nala) for nearly a week, the show is always so exciting and super promising, from a business perspective.

And, I am ready to go...
Comfortable (and cute) shoes - check!
Breath mints - check!
Business cards - check!
Sanity - what is this "sanity" you speak of, check list?

Well, almost everything.

I'll be way off the blogging grid... STILL. But am looking forward to reading all of my favorites and actually having some time to get all this crap outta my head. But, that must way until I return and recover from this trip... in like 2009. HAH! Kidding. Kidding.

Peace out for now, home skillets.

just can't seem to get it right

2008-08-20T20:37:00.007-04:00

I am absent minded this week. Well, let me rephrase... I am preoccu...

No. Lets me just quit making excuses and cut right to the gotdamn chase.

Chase:
I cannot, for the life of me, think of anything even remotely interesting to write about. I have interesting things going on in my life but I can't muster up the creative energy to blog it. Not to mention, work has me insane right now and I have not been able to read all of my favorite fellow bloggers' fantasticness, which always fuels my inspiration. My mornings and lunch break are now devoted to copy writing and such. And I feel guilty about being MIA. And it hurts my heart a little to leave my blog in such a sad state. The last two posts were PAINFULLY rotten.

But. Fact of the matter, something is amiss in Struggle land. No doubt.

Life is c to the razy right now. And, I'm not complaining.

Ok, only a little.

Its crazy in a good way. We've got a shit ton (opposed to just your average ton) of social plans and family parties and what nots. We're looking to buy a house which takes a lot of time (and is a story in and of itself but GAH its boring). And, work. Well, lets just say I am being ripped from my bed at 3am on a regular basis because I suddenly dream of something that needs to get done on the work front.

So - life is crazy.

But - not crazy in the way that inspires me to tell the Internets.

You don't want to hear about the baby shower I hosted last weekend. I know you don't. It was cute and sweet and all things lovely... but blogworthy? I already shared the most important elements: chocolate trifle and donut cake. (I love you M*!)

Or how about the smooshed frog I saw in the middle of the road while running? Gross. In fact, too gross to write about.

How about when I was at the gym this morning with my partner in crime and we were using medicine balls, doing twist crunch things and one of the trainers said we should start an Olympic synchronized sport because we were so in sync. (I think it was his way of politely telling us "YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG!".)

OHHH - I know you are dying to hear about my upcoming trip to Denver. Awesome, right?Mile High, good beer, great hiking, quality mountain air... well, that would be all freaking fabulous if I weren't going to be engulfed by a convention center, surrounded by strangers, and set to work 18 hour days... for 6 days. Purell, red bull, and Visine will save my life. And most likely, I'll slowly forget what running is.

BLASPHEMY!

Actually, I hope to run on most days while I am out there... only if I can steal an hour from the 18 hour work day... not from the 6 hours of sleep! I am interested to know what running in thin air feels like. I so wish I could run the Skirt Chaser 5k that some other folks are doing. But - straight from the convention center, I'm going to the Rockies game. Yahoo!!!!

Speaking of running, I dare not tell you that I've been secretly sneaking back onto that running route that ya'll asked me not to run anymore.

How about the life lesson I caught at the grocery store this morning when the cashier (a cute elderly woman who is just "keeping busy" with her Stop & Shop gig) asks the guy in front of me "Didja try wunna da grapes befaw you buy dem?" He, in his Jamaiican-esque accent replies "Ya mon." She said, "Good. Cuz honey, nobody wans a sowah grape."

I thought it to be pretty profound for 7:30am.

scatterbrain

2008-08-18T07:13:00.000-04:00

--> I ate so much crap this weekend. It was a party weekend and I could not resist. Yesterday was the killer... I hosted a baby shower at my house and we had so many amazing concoctions... the kickers were the chocolate trifle and the donut cake. Seriously... donut cake is quite possibly one of my favorite foods in the entire world (next to brussel sprouts, of course). Its not like every other donut... there is something magical about donut in the shape of a baby bottle or a beer bottle (both of which we've had, among many many others including a foot, a shark, a pumpkin, a baseball...).

--> Saturday the hub and I went to a local park for an early morning 5 miler. It was really nice being able to run together... but the park was VERY hilly so the run kicked both of our asses.

--> I am obsessed with Orbit White Bubblemint gum... which comes in a container of 60 pieces! Its great for fresh breath, it curbs the cravings (especially the craving I have for the piece of donut cake that is sitting in my cupboard downstairs) and it also has made my teeth seriously white. Its a much better solution to teeth whitening, if you ask me.

--> I just took my dog for a walk... if you could see or hear her now, you'd think we just walked the Sahara, end to end. Pant, pant, pant, pant... gotta love that August heat.

--> Its the "busy season" at work so my creative energy has been sucked dry, as of late. I am thinking about work while I'm working (shocker!), running, eating, sleeping... etc. And, I don't write about work so my inspiration for blogging has been nill.

--> Lastly, I wish it was Sunday... cuz thats my fun day.

(I'm a) Road Runner

2008-08-14T09:03:00.003-04:00

I'm a road runner, baby
Can't stay in one place too long
I'm a road runner, baby
Mess with me and I'll be gone

You can love me if you wanna
But I do declare
If I get restless
I've gotta move somewhere
I'm a road runner, baby

Can't find my home
And I love the life I live
And I'm gonna live the life I love
Road runner, baby

All my life I've been like this
If you love me, it's your own risk
When the dust hit my shoes
I got the urge to move

Said, I'm a road runner, baby
Just keep on, keepin' on
And I live the life I love
And I'm gonna love the life I live
Yes, I'm a road runner, baby.

Happy Thursday!!!

tan lines

2008-08-11T08:45:00.003-04:00

For all you dermatology advocates (you know who you are!), just close the browser now. Navigate away from my page. You will not be able to handle my audacity (which can be defined as courage or nerve... I am using it as NERVE in this instance).

You're still here? Fine. Suit yourself but don't say I didn't warn you. =)

Its summer, which means lots of running, grilling, wiffle ball, kayaking, beaching, playing, etc... spending quite a bit of time outside, in the glorious sun.

The sun is my favorite natural element of all. We have this incredibly intense relationship and really, I am convinced that I could not live without it.

I've talked about this before... but, there is something medicinal about the sun. And, I can't get enough. That's part of the reason I LOVE running outside. The feeling of the sun is irreplaceable.

And, fortunately, in case you didn't know, running is very good for you. Overall well being. Health. Fitness. Blah blah blah.

However, the sun is only good for you in small doses, through a filter, aka sunscreen... which I wear on a regular basis. Nothing less than SPF 30.

But, fact of the matter...

With all this running outside, in the sun, sunscreen and all, I have developed some my oh-so-sexy tan lines.

From the uber pastey white upper thigh region (generally protected by my not-too-short running shorts), to the visor line, to the watch band line (which strangely... I kind of like), to my various singlet / tank / sport bra combo lines (which leaves a whole mess of blotchy awkwardness on my chest) to my absolute favorite iPod Nano Nike Arm Band hunk of a line. That line can't even be called a line - its a tan block.

I could wear a stronger SPF, I suppose but I feel sort invisible when running. Super human almost.

And I justify my ignorance by claiming all the cliche things:
- I am darker skinned (by darker, I mean darker white... if that makes sense)
- I rarely burn
- I run before the sun is strong... before 9am on most occasions

Stupid excuses, I know.

To boot, I am mostly of Irish heritage (80%). And we all know those folks are prone to fair skin and sensitivity to the sun. My Dad (100% Irish) has had a slew of troublesome sun spots that he's had removed, checked, screened, etc. So I should be more careful. But, then there is my Mom, part Irish, English, and French. She has a darker complexion like me and has been in the clear her whole life. No worrisome spots. So, yet another justification for me.

Despite my boneheadedness about being careful while running in the sun, the running tan lines are quite comical.

And, know what? I flaunt those suckers with pride.

do you know the way to...

2008-08-04T23:31:00.004-04:00

I am in San Jose "on business" for the week... after a hellacious time getting out here which involved sitting on a lovely JetBlue plane in the Logan Airport terminal for 3 hours PRIOR to departing and THEN spending 6.5 hours in the air...

Next to a man with quite possibly the worst breath I had ever smelled! I could smell it when he didn't even have his mouth open. We spent 10 hours nestled closely together and I did not utter 2 words to him because I was afraid of what would come out if he DID open his mouth. AND - when we landed, he pulled out his backpack from under the seat and there, in plain view, a bright green pack of Orbit MINTY MINTASTIC gum. I can't imagine that he didn't even consider popping a piece of that stuff... based on the smell, his mouth HAD to have tasted like [insert your most favorite vulgar smelling/tasting noun here].

I, on the other hand, compensated for him and chewed about 37 pieces of Orbit White Bubblemint... because I was hoping there would be some power of suggestion each time I popped a new piece. No such luck. And I even gave him my endearing "I'll offer you a piece of gym if you look at me" glance... but he paid no attention.

And I spent 10 hours huddled in my sweatshirt.

Thank jebus for JetBlue's TV feature. It distracted me from most plane nuisances. I watched the pants off of HGTV. Property Virgins AND House Hunters. It was blissful.

BUT... BUT... JetBlue now charges $7 for a blanket. What gives? And, if you're not going to let me control my bodily temperature, you should at least give me access to the thermostat, dammit!

Anyway - I made it safely to San Jose. And got to bed at nearly 1am (4am my time... for those not so adept at time change math). Awesome. But I still scraped my ass out of bed early today to get in a run... I knew I'd need the adrenaline for the busy week we have at work.

I was really looking forward to Starbucks this morning... which is conveniently located right in my hotel and turns out to be worst Starbucks in history. (Not really, I am just overtired now... I love you Starbucks, really, I do.) The total for my order was $10.89. I handed the barista a $20 bill and did not think anything of it until she handed me my change back and said "$9.11... that is a horrible amount of change to receive"!

Who says that? Just give me my money. No $0.11 tip for you.

Good times... she also doubled as the hotel receptionist. A novel multitasking solution that I've never seen done before. Seems sort of cool, right? It was... until I ordered my grande skinny vanilla latte and she had to pull out the instruction book to concoct my oh-so standard Starbucks order. (I should have known I was doomed when she cocked her head when I said "skinny" in my coffee order.)

In good news, it is eternal sunshine out here... and I will spend my days cooped inside, with no access to windows (or air). But, hey, I am surrounded by great people and when you work from home, sometimes you just need human interaction.

Happy Monday...

race pics

2008-08-02T11:20:00.002-04:00

The professional photo proofs have been released for the race I did last week. I am not really excited enough about any of them to purchase... but it is always interesting to see what you look like in the moment.

This was the very beginning and I was committed to starting out slow. Look at the concentration. I remember exactly where this was because I remember those 2 young girls in back of me.(They passed me... only to completely die at about mile 4. HA.)

See above... same spot... and even more concentration. And, the girl in pink apparently talked herself tired... if she kept her mouth shut, maybe she would've made it past mile 4. Just saying.

Pondering, perplexed. "Why again did I WANT to do this? I still have 9 miles to go? Oh. Hell."

Thinking... "suck it up, you sally. GO. Start running." I was not so successful in motivating to ever run but I sort of looked the part. I mean, look at all of the people behind me!

I was crying on the inside.

I'm the jerk who steps it up the last 1/2 mile and blows by people. Some people say that is bad etiquette but frankly, I don't care. If you've got gas in the tank, I say go for broke.

And I don't feel so bad... it did not seem to phase them. Look at the SMILES across their faces.

Alright, I'm officially putting this one to bed. I'm moving on...

ear candy

2008-08-01T08:58:00.003-04:00

I was driving home from my soccer game last night... which we lost... but it was finals and so we stayed to watch the championship and it was a nail biting, edge of your seat game, so by the time I left (at midnight... hellooooo coffee!), I was all hyped up.

I was in need of a good soundtrack for the 20 minute drive.

I was driving Kev's car and my iPod doesn't adapt to his beast and he rarely has any CDs in there (he's obsessed with sports/talk radio) so I relied on what little music there is left on the airwaves.

First stop...
Fight for Your Right by Beastie Boys - I haven't heard this song in FOREVER so I crank it up and am screaming, rapping every single word... obnoxious as a Frat Boy on Thursday night, in my car jamming away.

Kick it.

Next stop after that throw back...
Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin (duh) and I was hit with nostalgia gut... you know that feeling where you want to jump out of your seat? It was fantastic. Drumming on my steering wheel like a little maniac... pretending I know the words but really I am making 90% of them up!

Last stop on the tour...one of my alltime favorites...
Don't Stop Believing by Journey. This song has been an anthem for so many memories in my life and it just never gets old. And this one is always very deserving of a theatrical performance. Fist pumps and all. (And I know ALL of the words... the real words... not even made up Strugglepants words.)

I was deeply satisfied when I pulled into my driveway and turned off the radio. It was like I just indulged in a really good, really expensive meal. Beastie Boys were the calamari, Led Zeppelin the steak, and Journey the tiramisu. Bon appetit!
-------------

In other music news... if you have not done so, I highly recommend checking out Vampire Weekend. I am certifiably obsessed with this band and I love ALL of their songs... particularly Oxford Comma, The Kids Don't Stand a Chance, and M79.

I've also been listening to the new Amos Lee... whom I love but am not as impressed with this album as I have been with his previous albums.

State Radio and Spoon are top of my list for everyday favorites.

I've discovered some newer favorites... Kalai and Joshua James - for those mellower moods!

In remakes, I heard a great, country version of Life in a Northern Town by Sugarland, Little Big Town, and Jake Owen. Also, Cas Haley's version of Walking on the Moon is pretty damn cool. I know, I know... its a big task to remake The Police but I dig it.

And for summer classics, I've been turning to Tarrus Riley, Bob Marley, Beres Hammond, Van Morrison, G. Love, Paul Simon, and Toots & the Maytals!

Happy Friday!!!!

funkdafied

2008-07-30T07:26:00.002-04:00

Based on what I've been reading from all the other runner peeps out there, there seems to be something in the air.

And it smells dang funky.

And its killing my mojo. And making me MO slow. (Fo sho!)

But, I get the feeling I am not alone... save for you crazy people who run weekly marathons or accidentally run a marathon... you know who you are (and in case you don't, I am talking about YOU and YOU).

I also get the feeling it has everything to do with the time of year.

I've been running (from something) practically all of my life. But, its only been in the last 8 months that I've truly monitored and measured my performance. Prior to that, I'd just run and participate in road races... not caring how fast I finished or how much faster I could do it next time. I was just running to stay fit. (I never even heard the word fartlek... that should give you an indication of where I was as a complacent runner.)

So - last year at this time, I had just completed the Blessing (in less time than I did this year but I swear... I really swear, I am OVER IT) for which I had run and prepared in the best way I knew.

I ran a lot.

I did not know what a taper was... I tapered in high school swimming but never thought it applied to running so the night before last year's Blessing, I ran 8 miles. And the day before that... I ran 6. Yep. (And still... I managed to run last year's race quicker than this year... but oh yea, I'm over it. I swear.) Having spent 2 months running non-stop to prepare for last year's race, the minute I crossed the finsih line I burnt out... putter... putter... KAPOOT.

Immediately following the race, I ceased all running for at least two weeks. I felt justified... and somewhat relieved. And then I gradually got back into it but not with any real dedication. I ran 2-3 days per week... lackadaisically. Until November when I started reading more about the sport and investigating longer distances and learned about PROGRAMS! I've come miles since then... literally.

My point... I am not sure I've ever really run consistently through the summer so this whole FUNK thing is getting to me. Inside, I am rearing to run... ready to go. And then I get outside and start the run and feel like a damn tortoise. And don't give me that slow n' steady nonsense. I want fast n' furious dammit.

I know that I have to be patient and that I'll continuously go through lulls and peaks and valleys and all that jazz but... I am looking for insight from other hobby runners.

Is this typical for mid-summer months? Are you all feeling the funk? Is this normal?

I just need to get through it and not get discouraged. HELP!!!

happy birthday to...

2008-07-29T09:22:00.008-04:00

Today is a very special day in the Goody world. 28 years ago today, a very special boy was brought into this world... a boy who has become an amazing man, a driven and inspiring person, a wonderful husband... and my best friend. Happy Birthday, Kev. I lub you.

(He is also a fantastic photo subject!)

You've stood the test of time dealing with my stubborness, melodrama, obsessions, and grumpiness. But, it is all worth it, I know. Who else would pick up after you, buy you presents, and stomach the smell of your...

Ok, we won't go there.

Without you (and all of your habits and love), I'd be lost.

And who else would buy me a shovel for Christmas?

Its nothing but love over here. Nothing. But. Love. :)

Since I already gave you your gifts, its okay if I spoil the surprise for the Internets... since they won't be joining us for grilled kabobs tonight. From me, Kevin got new Crocs (in chocolate... size XXXL for my GINORMO footed man), a Kleen Kanteen (in Tree Bark, with a sport cap), and RUNNING GEAR (all of the Brooks variety)!!!

Since overcoming a pretty serious back injury / ailment, Kevin has gotten back into running with gusto. He is running 4-5 days per week and is gradually increasing his speed and intensity. I am so proud that he has the patience and dedication to see it through... yet again. We all know how frustrating it is to stop for a long period of time only to start again and learn that you cannot jump back into the same distance or speed (without risking injury).

Now, he no longer has to sit on the sidelines and wait for his wife to finish all these damn road races. He can be right there with me... enjoying all the grueling hell that is running. ;)

Kidding.

What's that saying... if it wasn't a challenge, I'd be JOGGING?

Actually, I think it is safe to say that I was jogging in Friday's 10 miler. I don't think I ever stepped up my game. But, I won't bitch and moan about it forever. It is done. And it is fueling me for the future. Speaking of... I totally kicked running's ass today. I went sans iPod and just RAN my butt off for 4.5 miles. 37 minutes and 15 seconds (roughly 8 minute 15 seconds per mile). That is much more like it, I'd say. Its only 4.5 miles but I needed an ego boost.

But enough about me... Happy Birthday Kev!!!

stupid blessing

2008-07-28T08:13:00.004-04:00

It's time like these that I love to hug my arms across my chest, put on a good pout, and "hmph".

I don't want to talk about the fact that the Blessing of the Fleet 10 mile road race was all around miserable for me.

I don't want to talk about how unprepared I truly was.

I don't want to talk about finishing in 1 hour 35 minutes... plus some unGodly amount of seconds that really doesn't even matter because I was so far from my goal of 1:30 that I don't want to talk about that either.

I don't want to talk about excuses because really, despite the fact that I could probably come up with 100, none really excuse me from my 9 minute 30 second (and then some) per mile.

I don't want to talk about how I ran a 10k just 2 months ago in 53 minutes 23 seconds and could not keep up the momentum to run at the same pace for this race.

I don't want to talk about not being able to drink ONE beer, nevermind TWO after the race... and then proceeding to eat turkey chick pea chili from Panera which sent me heaving into my lovely porcelain bowl mere minutes later.

I don't want to talk about PMS.

I don't want to talk about how I played an indoor soccer game the night before the race, ONLY because my team was down players and so I played the whole game without subbing... which generally kills me for a few days... nevermind the night before a race.

I don't want to talk about a girl on my team who also played the same indoor soccer game that I played and who also ran the Blessing... and did so in like 1 hour 18 minutes.

I don't want to talk about knowing that I was not ready to meet my goals.

I don't want to talk about any of it. :( Its over and done with and frankly, I was over it by Saturday. I did it. I finished it. I'll do it again... and I'll just murder it next time.

So, now that we're clear on what I don't want to talk about... I am happy to report that I do want to talk about my next goal race - the Wicked Half Marathon in Salem, MA on September 27th. I am looking forward to some grueling August long runs and getting fully prepared for this race.

CORRECTION: My fellow soccer teammate finished in 1 hour 15 minutes. I actually thought I was being generous when I said 1 hour 18 minutes but I mistakenly robbed her of 3 minutes... holy hell!!

I'm Alive

2008-07-25T07:26:00.003-04:00

By now, anyone who reads my blog is surely sick of being greeted by brussel sprouts upon entering my page. I am sorry about that but I was quite successful in getting off the grid and disconnecting during my vacation. Though, mentally, I was still blogging away!

And now, my blog reader is off the hook with all sorts of inspirational, humorous, and I am sure some twisted goodness that I am dying to read! I am getting to them slowly but surely.

For now, I am reveling in the time that was...
------

Vacation 2008
Based on our need to spend some quality down time together, we deemed our sojourn "Vacation 2008 - In Your Face", which was always said in a WWE-esque voice and required the person saying it to get up in your face like so...

Vacations (and free beer at Busch Gardens) will make you do crazy things.

Our days were spent laying by the pool or venturing to some local, overcrowded tourist haunts such as Busch Gardens, Adventure Island, a Devil Rays game, the zoo, and the beach. I truthfully don't even need to leave my Mom and Step Dad's house when I visit (with a pool, an outdoor audio system, a plethora of wild lives to ~~taunt~~ watch, and a blender, what more would I need?) but I feel obligated to do Florida-ish things when I am there. So - we tooled around and had a leisurely and relaxing time.

AND - amidst my margaritas, chips n' salsa, and basking in the sun (with SPF 45, of course) I managed to workout 6 out of 7 days. The hub and I actually ran together on 4 occasions!! It was great - we motivated each other through the grueling heat and humidity; we saved each other from squishing dozens of lizards; we watched each others' backs for gator sitings; and together we dodged quite a few unusual road kill victims (an armadillo, for one). It was nice having a partner to run with... despite the fact that he insists on wearing headphones while we run together whereas I like to chat while we run. But, I am NOT complaining.

Outside of running, we also hit the local Y for gym "stuff". The Y experience is entirely deserving of its own post... so stay tuned for stories on this class called "Silver Sneakers"... and my Mom challenging me to a weight lifting contest... and Kevin swimming laps in the gorgeous pool... which was full of diaperless 4 year olds. Yum.

It was the vacation of basketball. I don't know if the Celtics winning this year had anything to do with it but it seemed everywhere we went, we were playing basketball... in the pool, at the Y, at Busch Gardens. Strange coincidences but also strange was that I got progressively worse at shooting hoops as the vacation went on.

Anyway, I am glad to be home and I feel entirely R&Red. I wish I had more pics to share but it costs too much money to send the pics from my phone and... I still haven't replaced the camera I lost back in June. So sad. :(

Is it bad that I am already looking forward to Vacation 2009?

OHHHHHH... how could I forget? Today is the 10 mile road race, the Blessing of the Fleet, for which I feel entirely unprepared. While I ran nearly everyday in Florida, what I failed to mention is that we did not cover any great distance. The most I ran was 4.5 and the last long run I did was before I left (last Monday) so I am feeling like this might have been too long a taper but... it is only 10 miles, right?

My goals:
1. No walking
2. Be smart about the start - don't start out too strong like I did last year!
3. Finish in under 1:30
4. Be able to drink at least 2 beers at the beer tent (last year I was stricken with serious stomach issues. Ugh.)

Good luck to me!!!!!

foodie

2008-07-17T09:17:00.001-04:00

This week, for the Runner's Lounge Take it and Run Thursday series, they’ve asked us to share our thoughts about food in any free form fashion we'd like. I am copying Tom's format and applying it to my thoughts on the subject! This is my contribution.

Favorite Unusual Food: Brussel sprouts - it may not be an unusual food but its unusual to be anyone's favorite food... it is mine!

Favorite food website: For recipes and ideas, I go to AllRecipes.com, SimplyRecipes.com, Epicurious.com. For food topics, I go to World's Healthiest Foods and websites about Locavores... I want to be a locavore but the whole geographical thing is challenging. I can't get local produce in December.

Foods I love and can’t eat enough of: Turkey burgers, corn on the cob, butternut squash, brussel sprouts, popcorn

Food you won’t believe I love: Brussel sprouts? I can't name that again but really, whose favorite food is brussel sprouts? MINE. But ok, more unusual foods that I love - cauliflower, little necks, edamame, pepperoncinis

Foods I love, but don’t eat: Donuts... well, I do eat them... just not as often as I would like.

My Sin Foods: Chinese food, fried calamari, Double Stuffed Oreos

My steps to Leanness:
1. Focus on moderation and portion control - unlike running, eating is not a race (unless of course you are in a hot dog or pie eating contest... in which case, portion control and moderation are the devils) and there are more meals to come so slow down and focus on satisfying hunger - not eating to eat.

2. Try to only ingest wholesome, unprocessed foods - I look for organic and I tend eat more produce than I do boxed or bagged products. There is not a vegetable that I do not like...

3. Limit "fake" food consumption and set a day or a goal to allow myelf that chocolatey or sweet indulgence and the key is to let myself enjoy it - NO GUILT.

4. More running = more food. If I haven't worked out, I lower my calorie / sugar / carb intake so naturally, the motivation to workout is partly driven by my love for food.

5. DON'T GO CRAZY counting calories, fat, etc. We only get one life and I'll be dammed if I spend mine hemming and hawing over calories and crap. I work hard at everything I do and I am entitled to slip off the healthy path so long as I jump right back on.

6. Last but not least, enjoy food. I love to eat.

missing in action

2008-07-15T09:23:00.007-04:00

I am off the grid... working like a maniac prepping for my week vacation which starts tomorrow at 6pm. If I am not shopping, packing, or running, I am stationed in front of my computer trying to tie up loose ends for work.

But, I've made time for running and and have been keeping up my commitment to my core, like a good runner bee. So far, so good. Trackness today... and in surprising news, the HUB JOINED ME for track sessions. Though he had his own agenda, it was such a great way to start the day. For that, a big shout out to you, Kev!! MUAH!

Amidst the chaos of work and life, I had a rather gluttonous weekend which included going to such wonderful places as the Capital Grille, the BEACH (where the RI Half Iron Man was being set up and it was insanely inspiring), and Fenway Park to see the Red Sox (who are now, once again, in first place... just saying). Oh, and I ate about 836 roasted marshmallows at the in-law's campsite on Saturday night. I am officially Jet Puffed.

I'll post Shop it to Yous and my 100th post (woo hoo) sometime soon - today, tomorrow, or sometime later, I cannot say.

In vacation land (AKA, Tampa, Florida where my Mom and Step Dad live) I'll be even further off the grid intentionally (its necessary to cut yourself off from the world every now and then, right?) but I'll miss reading about all of your antics. I'll surely suffer severe withdrawals... and that's what margaritas are for.

Life is good, my friends. Real good.

hard core

2008-07-11T07:03:00.003-04:00

Since January, I've made remarkable improvement in running. Its broadcasted all over this blog, I don't need to rehash. But now, I am stuck in this stupid rut... not making any stupid progress and I actually feel like I am stupid regressing.

Stupid.

I've been full of excuses for why my running performance has been subpar and why I've felt pretty frickin un-fast. Naturally, the heat and humidity seemed a likely cause since it is a factor that was not present when I was at my peak, just a few weeks ago.

But, I think I've finally nailed the MAIN reason why I'm dragging, thanks to Marathon Mom Dimity's most recent post, Back to the Core which sent a power surge to the dim lightbulb above my head.

When I began training for the half marathon, the first thing I did (outside of endure the grueling first few weeks of getting back into running) was enroll in a weekly core sculpting class for total body and core (ab/back) strengthening. The first few weeks were ROUGH (as in, could not walk / bend / wash my hair for days) and it was evident that I was super out of shape. But I noticed improvement and toning right away.

Outside of the weekly class, I was flexing those core ab and back muscles in some capacity at least 4 times per week. I had read that this was critical to become a strong runner but, honestly, I didn't buy it. I know a few fantastic runners who do nothing outside of running. They commit to the long runs, fartleks, track sessions, etc... but that is the extent of their exercise. No weights. No cross training. No strengthening. And yet, they are amazing runners (and by amazing I mean they win races... overall).

But I took preparation for my first half marathon extremely seriously and followed a program which, like most, incorporated cross training, core strengthening, weights, and running (naturally)... but I wasn't entirely convinced that the elements outside of running were improving my performance. I knew the core workout was beneficial to my physique and impending bikini season... but I never fully connected it to my running improvement.

That is... until I quit the core workout.

Since the half, I've cut back on my gym time and quit the core class altogether but thought I was "ok" because I'm maintaining a very active running and fitness routine and I've been going to the gym 1-2 times per week. But gym time is different when you only go once or twice per week. Less regimented. We "lift" (read: throw some dumb bells around and chit chat with my BFF) and get in some quality "calisthenics"(read: laugh at how ridiculous we look sprawled over the yoga ball... not using it as intended). And while I feel confident in my leg and arm strength, I am now beginning to think that my running plateau is directly correlated to my dwindling core strength.

Stupidly, I thought I could build my core to a certain point and sort of walk away from that aspect... thinking that the frequent running would be sufficient.

Evidently not. I now know what I need to do.

I am taking a queue from Dimity and reintegrating that element back into my routine - no matter how little I want to do it... it MUST be done to improve. And - actually, the routine that Dimity touts, created by Ivana Bisaro of Carmichael Training Systems, is perfect for me because it involves a lot of variation and ball time (haha). Also, there are no machines required so I can do it at home.

I'm not wasting any more time. I started yesterday morning and plan to follow this routine at least three times per week. I am hoping that I see immediate results but I'm smart enough to know that improvement takes time and requires patience!

I'm now a believer!

roadkill

2008-07-09T06:29:00.001-04:00

I am sure every runner has encountered their fair share of roadkill but... I've fortunately not encountered much dead carcass in my running career. The occasional smooshed rodent here and there but... nothing to write (home) about.

Until recently.

I don't know what it is but lately, I've been running across (over or around) SO much nasty roadkill that I am beginning to think I should change my route so I don't end up in roadkill heaven... amongst the other toasted, matted haired, eye popping, flat as a pancake, little creatures.

Each time I pass another deceased little being, I am stricken with remorse, disgust, nausea and QUESTIONS... such as:

● Is it possible that some rodents are suicidal? We've all seen that squirrel or chipmunk dash out in front of the car at the very last second... leaving you with no choice but to close your eyes, grip the steering wheel, and scream for fear of killing it. And then you look in your rearview mirror to see Alvin darting off to the other side of the road, unscathed (and flipping you off). Meanwhile you just lost 3 years of your life and sprouted a new grey hair. But seriously. What the hell are they doing running AT cars?

● Why is road kill always curb side? Its hard for me to believe that someone really gets out of their car to push them aside? These animals, God rest all of their little souls, are tiny and will not HARM the car if gone over... and it is quite likely that you could GO AROUND it. If the road is not wide enough for you to go around it, it probably isn't safe enough for you to get out of your car and MOVE it. All I can picture is a blue haired, Caddy driver fearing they are going to mess up their white wall tires. A word... leave the things in the middle of the road to rot. Let animal control remove them. PUH LEASE.

● Or, is it that when they are struck by the vehicle there is some Looney Tunes reaction and the victim is sent sailing to the side of the road? (And a cartoon cloud with "Splat" written in it appears above their remains.)

● Is it bazaar that I need to plug my nose and hold my breath when I am passing road kill? For some reason, I have it in my brain that if I inhale the corpse fumes, I will be poisoned (or summoned by the Grim Reaper). It would not be a big deal to hold my breath when passing deadness... save for the fact that I am RUNNING and need every last breath I can take. SO - it sort of messes with the whole routine. (I also shield my eyes... with my hand... so I do not catch even one glimpse more of the bloody and gutsy remains... but then I look through the cracks of my fingers... to make sure I am as far as possible.)

● WHY are the eyes always open?

● Why is it that I get goosebumps when in the presence of a DEAD snake? There are generally very few innards splayed from a snake. And, its dead. So why the fear? It could be the traumatizing boa constrictor incident that happened in college...

● Does anyone else have more of an affinity to one rodent over the other? I feel most terrible for the dead chipmunks. Its heartbreaking. I think its because I once hit one (with my car) and I am insaney remorseful. I cried. Kevin yelled. It was terrible. And it has created a special little place in my heart for the real Alvins, Chips, and Theodores, of the world... who coincidentally love to dig holes in my yard and get into my garden and I SHOULD loathe. But, no. I've got a thing for chipmunks. And NOT like that Richard-Gere-thing-for-hamsters. More like a Tiny Toons Elmyra thing.

So, I am not sure why I've been spotting so much deadness lately... I just hope that it is a summer thing and it is not foreshadowing...

I'm Back in the Game & Shop it to You Tuesday

2008-07-08T09:45:00.005-04:00

I've had 3 solid days of running which may not sound impressive but after the 4th of July party we had, it is near miraculous. Saturday was a wash... basically, I was detoxing and hydrating (which included lots of pizza and naps).

But Sunday was the turning point.

We ended up sleeping later than anticipated which always annoys me. I had all intentions of going for a run early in the morning and then proceeding with our daily activities. We had not decided our plan for the day because the weather was supposed to be questionnable. So, when I saw the clock at 9:30am, I jumped out of bed full of anxiety. I had wanted to have my run over and done with by this point. I looked at the hub... who was still sleeping soundly. I tapped him awake (how annoying am I?) and said "Hi. Good Morning. Love you. SO. What are we doing today? What is going on? Beach? Zoo? Lunch? Whats the deal?" As he moaned and groaned for me to slow down, take it easy (like Sunday morning), I prodded some more. "If we don't have any major morning plans I am going for a run. Right. Now." He looked up at me, as I was standing there trying to wrangle my second leg into my running shorts, hopping frantically through the bedroom. He basically swatted me away and so I sicced the dog on him. Nothing like doggie morning breath to get you up and moving.

The thing is, I have this problem on the weekends... if I don't get in my run in the AM, I simply don't go. SO... I needed to make a rapid decision. Hub conceded and arose to discuss our plans for the day - which thankfully accomodated my morning run... seeing as, by that time, I was standing there in my full getup.

I ran 8 strong miles and felt great. I did not have any desire to stop and kept under a 9 minute pace the entire way. ~~And then I went and binged on clam cakes. Whoops a doops! But they were fantastic!~~

Yesterday, I took my lunch break to get in a 2.5 mile recovery run which I did not treat much like a recovery run... because I wanted to get it over with and have time to eat and shower before I had to get back to work. So I basically sprinted through my recovery! HAH!

Today was SUPPOSED to be Track Tuesday... but this morning, we had one of THESE MORNINGS getting out of bed and so by the time I got up, I had missed the cutoff to make it to the track in time. But, I improvised. I mapped out a 4.5 mile route and hit the pavement. First mile was a warmup, same as my track routine. From there, I did 2 minutes strong and 1 minute recovery, 2 minutes strong and 1 minute recovery. I did that for 2.5 miles and used the last mile as a cool down. My total time was 37:23 which is not too shabby... about 8:20s which I am very pleased with.

Tomorrow is weight training and light cardio day... phew.

I am back in the groove! Yahoo!!

And now, Shop It To You Tuesday... the pickings are somewhat slim after the 4th. I thought there would be an abundance of sales but... not so much.

Under Armour Heat Gear technical top available in a number of sizes and colors for $17.99 (regularly $37.99) from Road Runner Sports

Nike Women's Featherweight Shorts available in Black and Large for $29.99 (regularly $49.99) from Foot Locker (they look super comfty!)

goodbye summer

2008-07-07T08:50:00.000-04:00

Even though there are still 10 weeks of summer, I feel like my favorite season is practically over. In my mind, it's practically Christmas. (Ok, that might be a little dramatic.) Its just that after the Fourth of July, summer FLIES by. It never fails and there is no slowing it down. WORK days even go by insanely fast... and that is saying something.

Yesterday, the hub and I were talking about camping, a favorite pastime of ours. We were trying to identify ONE weekend between now and October that we could take off and get out in the wilderness for some quality camping... we could not find one weekend that was free. We've got a christening, a birthday party, a concert, a baby shower, traveling for work... if it isn't one thing, its the other.

I feel like something is going on EVERY weekend from now until eternity.

UGH. (My favorite Monday groan.)

I love having a life and being a social butterfly but sometimes... sometimes I just want to slow it all down. As soon as we come off one weekend adventure, we're planning for the next. It's gotten to the point where we spend time with friends planning the next get together... rather than just enjoying the time we are spending THEN.

My gripe is that I just hate to see summer go by so fast. It is my favorite season - and it always comes and goes so damn quick. :(

i run like a girl

2008-07-03T06:13:00.008-04:00

This week, for the Runner's Lounge Take it and Run Thursday series, they’ve asked us to share our favorite running tee shirt phrases. This is my contribution.

Emblazoned on the back of my hot pink technical shirt, iRunLikeAGirl was my mantra for my first half marathon. Wearing that particular shirt was actually a game time decision. Naturally, like any preparation queen would, I had my race day outfit selected, tested, cleaned, and laid out about a week before the race. Lo and behold, on the very night before the race, this fabulous shirt entered my life (as a birthday gift from E, S, & B!) like a little ray of sunshine. As soon as I saw it, I knew that I had to accomodate a wardrobe change and wear this (with pride) for my initiation into the half mary world.

Turns out, this shirt was the best thing to happen to me in that race. It proved to be the most amazing conversation starter, which is one of my favorite aspects of the road racing community... the camaraderie. As people would pass me (I mean... as I would pass them), many took the time to chat for a few minutes about the shirt. It kept me distracted and fueled and in 13.1 miles, collectively with a dozen or so fellow racers, we came up with a number of scenarios that could be tagged onto I Run Like A Girl.

I Run Like A Girl ...perfectly.
I Run Like A Girl ...cuz Duh.
I Run Like A Girl ...but I drink like a man.
I Run Like A Girl ...faster than a cheap pair of panty hose.
I Run Like A Girl ...who just beat you.
I Run Like A Girl ...whose got something to prove.
I Run Like A Girl ...and am damn proud of it.

It was awesome!

It is a great shirt and the company offers a wide selection of colors, styles, sizes etc. (Sorry boys, as far as I can tell... they only offer iRun gear in female sizes... though... there are a lot of men that would/should rock an iRunLikeAGirl jersey! Haha!) And the mission is not just about CUTE shirts or GIRL POWER... though that is what I love about it.

"It's all about the heart in women. iRUNLIKEAGIRL Celebrates Ageless Spirit in girls & women of all Sizes, all Ages, and all Sports Levels. The iRUN team has traveled to many places, passing along our message to races throughout the country. Thanks to many of you, this positive lifestyle brand was embraced. We laughed. We listened to your inspirational stories. We ran. We walked. We cheered. We had fun. We’ll continue to hit as many races as possible in the months ahead."

As much as I like to compete with the boys and am always proud when I outrun a man... I am damn proud to be a chick and I will not be discouraged or intimidated by any hormonal or anatomical differences.

(Just pardon the tears that flow after a big race.)

terrible tues and shop it to yous

2008-07-01T08:45:00.001-04:00

(Yes, yous.)

I had all intentions of going to the track today. Tuesday is my track training... but, because of the wedding and the lack of a distance run since early last week, I felt the need to go for a long run today which means, I'm moving trackness to Thursday... for this week only. (I am sort of obsessed with alliteration and Thursday track training does not flow as well as Tuesday track training. Agreed?)

So. I ran 7.5 miles this morning in heat and humidity. It was pretty hellacious and it felt wayyyy longer than 7.5 miles. I averaged 9 minute miles which is great for a "long run" but I just felt so damn sluggish. You know how it is generally pretty rough for the first mile of running... your body is getting into the groove, waking up, and basically trying to discourage you from continuing on? (At least... that is how it is generally for me, every time I run.) And, USUALLY, as I round into mile 2, everything seems to come together and feel right.

Lately... not. so. much.

I've just felt very sluggish and its killing me. I just can't seem to get any pep in my step. I am blaming it on the humidity... I swear it adds at least 10 pounds... but I also know its largely due to my summer social calendar. Between bachelorette parties and weddings and going out... the parties are weighing me down. But... that's what summer is about for us. Playing outside and going to parties so, I am not about to give it up. But I need to find some balance because I almost feel as if... I am... (gulp!) regressing in my... running performance. *tear*

I am desperately trying to prepare for a 10 miler which is less than 4 weeks away. I have 2 more track sessions and about 4 more long runs planned before the big day... and my training ends while I am in Tampa which means I'll have to complete my final long run in Florida heat and humidity. Ouch. Ouch. I suppose it will be good preparation for the race though, right?

I'm hopeful that I can work some of this sluggishness out of my system. For now, I'll quit bitching and invite you to check out the latest Shop it to Me goods...

Brooks Men's Revelation tee in a variety of sizes and colors for $19.99 (regularly $35.99) from Foot Locker

Under Armour Heat Gear technical top available in a number of sizes and colors for $17.99 (regularly $37.99) from Road Runner Sports

Nike Men's Sphere LS Tee in L and XL for $19.99 (regularly $44.99) from Foot Locker

Nike Men's Team Singlet in XXL and XXXL for $9.99 from Foot Locker

New Balance Women's 3" Competitor Shorts in XS (yikes) for $19.99 (regularly $69.99!) from Foot Locker

Brooks Women's Motion Cozy Pullover in S and XL for $29.99 (regularly $79.99) from Foot Locker

Mizuno Women's Mustang Lined (whatever that means!?) Short in L or XL for $24.99 (regularly $49.99) from Road Runner Sports

Nike Men's Dri Fit Race Day Shorts in L for $19.99 (regularly $29.99) from Foot Locker

Nike Women's Tempo Lined Shorts in a variety of colors and sizes for $19.99 from Activa Sports

And last but not least... since Tuesday is MY track day and it is Olympic Trials season, a shirt that is not on sale but worth the price.

mondaze

2008-06-30T20:15:00.001-04:00

You know those Mondays?

Ugh.

Its not your TYPICAL Monday when you feel absolutely entitled to winning the lottery and dream of never having to work any day ever again... nevermind a Monday.

Its the Monday after a 3.5 day weekend in which my days were spent ~~at the beck and call of her highness... my BFF... Le Bride (I love you, woman... no REALLY!)~~ relaxing, sipping champagne and nights were celebrated with finger foods and Grey Goose. (Hard to feel bad for me, I know.)

But... today.

Ugh.

That's what I've got today. The ughs. (And not the "boots with the fur".)

Ya feeling me?

The weekend, the festivities, the wedding... it was all phenomenal. It was a little more draining than anticipated because I had come down with a sinus infection late last week and was feeling pretty icktastic. Fortunately, I felt it coming on Wednesday night so I made a dash to Urgent Care and pleaded with the Nurse Practitioner to write me a prescription despite the fact that I did not appear all that sick.

Thankfully, she bought it. And I was well on my way to wellness... and bridalville.

It all began on Thursday afternoon, after a 3.5 hour ride to Upstate NY in which I transformed from grump with a head full of snots to cheery, the uninfected bridesmaid.

Following the hilarity that was a wedding rehearsal (led by a dyslexic Pastor who suggested that the Bride proceed in FIRST and the best man stand next to the bride and the maid of honor next to the Groom?!), we were treated to an amazing dinner party with about 1 million courses, I swear... bruschetta, craw fish fritters, shrimp, salad, dinner, dessert, and beverages galore. The venue, the Mouzon House, located right in the heart of Saratoga Springs, was right up my alley with all locally grown, organic harvest and free-range meats. It was delicious and the atmosphere was stellar. The night was full of laughter, tears, intoxicating stories, and smiles.

I retired as early as I could (midnight) because I wanted to make good of my desire to run the next morning.

7am came all too quickly but I peeled my body from the heavenly Hilton covers and garnished myself in running gear. I hadn't planned or mapped a route but I knew I wanted to do about 5 miles so I picked a landmark, the Saratoga Performing Arts Center (locally known as SPAC), that was a straight shoot from the hotel. I had passed it coming into town and knew there was no way for me to get lost and I figured it was about 2 miles from the hotel. I hit the front desk on my way out the door and asked about how far it was to the SPAC. She estimated that it would be 5 miles there and back. Perfecto.

I ran FAST. I had a lot on my mind and did not have my iPod to distract or my watch to pace myself so I just ran ran ran. I was nervous that I would not have enough time to get ready and report for my next bridal party responsibility (a day at the spa... tough life) so that fueled my need for speed. I am not sure how quickly I completed the route but it felt awesome... despite my sinus infection.

The rest of the weekend was so incredible... it was beautiful and elegant and splendid. The merging of friends, family, food, booze, dancing, and two incredible people.

The reception venue, the Inn at Erlowest, in Lake George, NY was quite spectacular. It was much more of a castle than it was an inn.

Since I lost my camera and have yet to replace her, (*sigh*) I do not have any pictures to share. I am waiting on some other guests to post their collections. But trust... it was gorgeous. It was the epitomy of what you envision your wedding will be like... except if you're me who never really had visions of a wedding and that is why we ended up in Vegas for our big day. BUT. When I think of other peoples' weddings, this is what I imagine them to be. Simply perfect.

After the wedding, before I went to sleep, I laid in bed and wished with all of my might that I could shrink to be quart size ziploc bag-friendly so that in the morning, after their oh-so-gracious parents treated us all to an amazing brunch, I could jump into the newlyweds' carryon and hitch a ride to Hawaii.

(I even promised to send for the hub... after we win the lottery.)

Turns out, I am still life size. And, its now Monday. And...

UGH!!!!

Week's End

2008-06-27T07:48:00.004-04:00

This post was written on Thursday because I left Thursday night to go to Upstate NY for a weekend wedding extravaganza. (YAHOO!)

Normally I would just go dark and not write if I weren't in town or near a computer or sick of the lame ass summer TV programming... seriously, I have moved on to watching HGTV's House Hunters and Property Virgins like it's nobobdy's business. Grey's, Friday Night Lights, Housewives...COME BACK!!!. BUT I just wanted to apologize for my lack of Shop it to You-ness for today. It's only the first week of my new service and I'm already slacking. HAHA! But, as you're reading this, I am probably under the cover of some glorious facial treatment... with a mimosa in hand. Ahh, gotta love bridal festivities. But don't be too jealous... eyebrow tweezing, plucking, and waxing are also on the grooming menu. Yuck.

I am hopeful that I will be able to get in a run through beautiful Saratoga at some point this weekend but the lovely bride has quite the itinerary planned for us maids so... it is doubtful. I'll make up for it in dancing, I am sure. ;)

Catch ya'll on the flip side. Have a great weekend!

running is the new baker's dozen

2008-06-26T06:05:00.006-04:00

This week, for the Runner's Lounge Take it and Run Thursday series, they’ve asked us to epitomize why we run, in 13 words or less (13 happens to be my favorite number!). This is my contribution.

I run to challenge my mind, body, and spirit... I run for life

The end.

scatterbrain & retail therapy

2008-06-24T07:19:00.001-04:00

Random thoughts followed by Shop it to YOU...

● I am proposing a corporate fitness challenge at my company... I am recruiting team members to run the San Jose Rock n' Roll Half Marathon in October which provides adequate time for the beginners to prepare. I am quite confident that I will get no more than a whopping 3 participants (if any) which doesn't even warrant a "team" but... I'll still make some kick ass tee shirts and pretend we're a big team.

● Speaking of teams... I think the median age of my indoor soccer team is about 20. I feel like a damned Grandma next to these sprite college athletes who are in tip top shape with so much agility and enthusiasm. Though I suppose if I didn't drink before every game, I might be just as sprite. Whatever.

● Let's go Google Analytics for a second... I just have to give a shout out to the poor souls that landed on my blog when searching for "Victoria Beckham Hair" or "Posh Spice Hair" (there are quite a few of my ~~fellow~~ Posh stalking friends!). Although, I modeled my new haircut after her highness, the only thing Posh and I have in common is hot husbands. Then there are those that somehow landed on strugglepants.com while Googling: "I am addicted to streaking" (me too!), "Golf pros and tennis hoes" (that's how I brought in age 28, hollah!), and "Wedgie-prone" (I am so sorry). Something tells me I cannot offer what you are looking for.

● I've never been a fan of Coldplay (ghasp, I know!) but they might have sucked me in with their new song, Viva la Vida. I really like it. Though, it really reminds me of a Christmas song... which is probably why I like it.

ATTENTION SHOPPERS!
Let's get shopping... as I indicated in this post, I'm bringing my favorite Shop it to Me goodness to you, every Tuesday and Friday:

Women's Mizuno Wave Alchemy 7 in size 7.5 for $79.99 (regularly $99.99) from Foot Locker
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Men's ASICS Gel Kayano XII in sizes 9, 10.5, 11.5 for $89.99 (regularly $134.99) at Foot Locker
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Nike Women's Race Day Tech Tight in Medium or Large for $39.99 (regularly 84.99) from Foot Locker
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Women's Distance Shorts in a variety of size and colors for $14.99 (regularly $28.99)from Road Runner Sports

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Men's ASICS Thermopolis LT Half Zip in Large for $39.99 (regularly $64.99) from Foot Locker
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Men's ASICS Thermopolis Hybrid Half Zip in Extra Large for $29.99 (regularly $84.99) from Foot Locker

no sweat...

2008-06-23T09:50:00.001-04:00

I came in from my 7.5 mile run this morning absolutely drenched. Yes, storms have been taunting the Northeast for the better part of a week, but I was not drenched from rain... I was soaked in sweat (my own, of course).

Yum.

I am a sweaty beast - when it comes to working out. I am not generally sweaty but when I exercise... its all out sweat pouring.

I used to be self conscious about this. I'd see dainty mcdainty at the gym, in her tight yoga pants, chic little workout top, full face of makeup, an I-tried-really-hard-to-make-it-look-like-I-didn't hairstyle - she'd be bopping along on the elliptical or treadmill, not an OUNCE of sweat dripping from anywhere.

Then there is me.

Cloddhopping, blotchy, baggy short wearing, panting, red in the face, sweat protruding from nearly every square inch of my body - head, shoulders, knees, and toes... knees and toes. My ARMS sweat for crying out loud. I am not talking elbows or pits, I am talking forearms. I didn't even know there were sweat glands in my arms.

In any case, it used to make me uncomfortable to be the sweaty kid but I am actually strangely proud of the sweat factor. I like to think it means I am working that much harder and I really don't give a damn what anyone thinks of me.

And quite frankly, I don't feel like I've really worked out unless I break a good sweat.

shop it to me

2008-06-20T18:48:00.002-04:00

One of my favorite parts of being a runner is... shopping for gear. I LOVE LOVE LOVE shopping for running "stuff". I love ripping off a tag to a new pair of shorts or sinking my tootsies into a new pair of kicks.

Basically, I'm a shopaholic with a running problem.

BUT, the real problem is... I'm also a sale junkie. I hate paying full price for anything other than a fancy dinner or a night on the town.

Well, ladies and gents, I've got something for all you running fanatics who are also gear addicts that love to save a buck. Check out Shop It To Me, a sales alert site with a running specific subscription service. Plug in your email and enter your preferences and sign up to receive sales updates on all the latest gear from your favorite brands.

(I just got a sweet pair of Mizuno running shorts for $9.99. NINE NINETY NINE!)

I was skeptical at first thinking I'd get spammed a lot (haha) but I've really valued Shop It To Me. It's a quality establishment and the updates are clean, concise, very easy to read, and easy to weed out the uglies... such as exhibit a (ok, that wasn't really on there but they're ugly, no?). They allow you to customize your search specific to the brands and types of products you want to hear about and I highly recommend you sign up and develop your own profile and preferences.

I've signed up to receive alerts for: Men and Women, all of our favorite brands (Asics, Brooks, Mizuno, Nike, etc), shoes, and apparel, in all available sizes. I get email updates twice per week on items with at least a 25% discount (discount amount is another element you can customize).

SO being the nice kid that I am, I'm volunteering my sales-radar services to YOU. When I get Shop It To Me alerts, I'll do all the dirty work and weed out the crap and then will include the hottest specials (for men and women, big and small) in my Tuesday and Friday posts! I'll put a picture of the item, list the sale price, and link it direct to the retailer so all you've got to do is click!

Hopefully, this will help feed my fellow running gear addicts' shopping obsessions whilst saving you all some moola.

For now, noodle on this... its not a Shop it to Me alert but its a good deal... because after some of my friends wrote me personal notes of concern regarding me running the hella scary road that I wrote of in my bear post , I am making more of a committment to safety.

Item of the week:

Safety first: This Nike safety set, including the Running Safety Vest and Swoosh Safety Light, is a mere $6.99... marked down from $21.99. I don't know what percentage off that is... but that's a hell of a discount.

I'm it.

2008-06-20T09:10:00.000-04:00

The Rules
Each player answers the 5 questions on their own blog. At the end of your post you tag 5 however many other people and post their names. Go to their blog and leave a comment telling them they've been tagged and to look at your blog for details.

D10, you're it (if you haven't already done it... but I don't recall seeing it). :)

1. How would you describe your running 10 years ago?
BLAH. 10 years ago at 19, I was not playing any sports. It was summer before my sophomore year of college and I had spent the better part of my freshman year gluttonizing on campus food and frat house alcohol. So, that summer, I started exercising again... sort of. I thought 15-20 minutes of cardio 2-3 times per week was quite sufficient... so I ran 2 to 3 miles tops... a couple of times a week. I was in decent shape but I was entirely unhealthy and did not know how to be a non-sports playing athlete.

2. What is your best and worst race experience?
My best experience is clearly the half marathon. You can read all about it here. I need not recap the entire thing other than to say that crossing that finish line was an enormously proud and emotional moment for me. I did it.

Worst... I am fortunate to say that I do not have a worst... they've all been really positive experiences. I'm sure I'll encounter some doozies throughout my lifetime but thus far, I am in the clear. ;)

3. What is the best or worst piece of advice you've been given about running?
The best is to follow a plan. We've all said it. My friend Patrick is an avid runner and triathlete(who is training for his first Iron Man this fall... and is not a blogger). He's been a great resource for me and he introduced me to running programs when he suggested a plan for my half marathon training. He taught me about tempo runs and intervals and track sessions. This advice really turned me into a runner. A real one. I also have another mentor who has offered me many helpful tidbits of information including the benefit of track sessions. He helped me define my first track session.

4. Why do you run?
I run to feel alive. I run to push the limits. I run for my life. I run to be fit. I run to feel the burn. I run because I can. I run because there are so many people that cannot. This is my mantra. It helps fuel my fire when I am low on energy... I think about all the people that cannot run - the paraplegics, quadriplegics, elderly, etc - they would curse me if they knew I was complaining about being out of energy.

5. Tell us something surprising about yourself that not many people would know.
I start everyday with 32 ounces of water and I generally drink upwards of 100 ounces per day. Its sort of OCD and a tad bit neurotic but a number of years ago, I ended up in the hospital (via ambulance and all) for a serious case of dehydration. It was a pretty scary experience to go through and since then, I have become a huge advocate for hydration... especially in running.

Track Star

2008-06-18T08:58:00.004-04:00

I completed my first track session. It was interesting... I was like a kid on the first day of school, full of nerves and excitement.

I used the track at a local University (where my husband happens to work) so was blessed with very well groomed facilities.

When I arrived and stepped foot onto the track, I felt a bit like an Olympian... showing up all geared out to do my "repeats" like I'm some sort of professional. (Who am I?)

I warmed up with 1 mile, 4 times around the track. I wanted to run the mile off the track but I hadn't measured a route through the campus so I stuck to what I knew.

As soon as I finished my very slow warmup, I jumped right into my first 400m repeat, followed by a 200m interval, followed by a 400m repeat and a 200m interval. I continued this for 6 sets (3600m or 2.25 miles) and never stopped running. (BTW, veterans... is that the appropriate usage of "repeat" and "interval"?)

My splits...
400m - 1.45
200m - 1.17
400m - 1.43
200m - 1.16
400m - 1.49
200m - 1.13
400m - 1.48
200m - 1.17
400m - 1.52 (ouch!)
200m - 1.20
400m - 1.46
200m - 1.18

I then cooled down with a hella slow 1 mile... which I did not time.

It was a lot harder than anticipated but I really enjoyed it. It was nice deviation from the running route and I am all about switching up the routine and keeping it interesting. With this new dimension, I think I've come up with a great schedule for myself:

Sunday - long run (6-10 miles... not long like some of you crazy long runners!)
Monday - recovery run (3-4 miles)
Tuesday - track day/speed work (4-5 miles)
Wednesday - gym/cross train/short run (4 miles total with cross training)
Thursday - soccer (at least 4 miles... depending how many subs we have)
Friday - off
Saturday - gym/medium run (3 miles)

That is 24 to 30 miles per week... adequate and maybe a little on the high end for me. I am training for the Blessing of the Fleet 10 miler on July 25th. That is my next goal race and I want to do under 1h 30m but really want to do 1h 25m (8.30s) which I think I am totally capable of and I am hopeful that adding the track sessions to my workout will help me improve.

Wow, this was an incredibly boring post. I apologize. I have not had my daily coffee... which fuels what little wit and creativity I have.

bear... with me

2008-06-17T07:47:00.001-04:00

What would you do if a bear were to chase you?

Random question, I know. Let me explain.

I am running this morning, my 10k route, through beautifully rural streets lined with a scattering of houses and dense woods. The street itself is scary as hell to run because it is quite narrow, very windy (as in WHINE DEE, not WIN DEE), with little to NO shoulder, and douchebags always seem to FLY down at a way quicker than the amply posted 30 MPH speed limit. And there is me, running merrily along, annoying all of the drivers who are most likely on their way to work and haven't fully digested their coffee. They encounter me running, all spry and healthy, with seemingly no job* since it is after 9am and most normal workers are already at work or at least on their late way. So their disdain for me goes beyond the fact that they don't want to SHARE THE ROAD and I swear they accelerate as they get closer to me.

And there I go, darting off the road, into the brush, fearing for my life because like any good runner, I run with an iPod and can't always hear or see when a car is approaching.

Its a very scary moment for both me AND the glaring driver who dramatically swerves so far to suggest that I am a 600 pound wildabeast that they are trying to avoid. I often look behind me to make sure there is not something more substantial they are moving from. Like a real wildabeast. But no, clearly they have no depth perception. More often, they really don't have to swerve at all... there's plenty of room for both of us.

Whatever. Maybe I really am a wildabeast when I run? I feel like that sometimes. Larger than life. Heavy, grunting, panting, fury.

Ok, maybe not fury.

Speaking of, I'll come full circle back to the bear. Give me time.

SO... back on the hella windy road, I try to pay close attention to any oncoming traffic, occasionally craning my neck to the middle of the road to sneak a peak around a bend and let the speed racers know I am there, hugging the roadside with all my might**.

Through the cobwebs of waking up and my mind going a mile a minute, I admire the nice homes and beautiful farms. My train of thought bouncing all over the place. Dialogue goes like this...

Ah, it smells like summer. Fresh cut grass. Lavendar. Mmm. Its so bazaar how I can SEE the pollen. Look at all that yellowy stuff on the ground. AAACHOO. Bless me... thank me. Damn allergies. Random work thought. Ooh, I love this song. This makes me run faster. GO. My face feels dirty. Do I need to stand up straighter when I run? Random work thought. Maybe we'll have fish for dinner tonight. Ugh. But fish makes the house smell funny. Like fish. Ugh. Maybe Kevin can figure out how to grill it. I'm hungry. OOOH, the trees are doing that pretty glistening thing with the rays of the sunshine.

Here's where the dialogue gets interesting***.

Its so green in those woods. I bet there is so much life in there. Eww woods life? Snakes and frogs and foxes and deer and little rodents. Eww. I wonder if there are any coyotes this close to the road. That would be scary. I'd scream like a girl. Oh crap... what about that bear that has been spotted all over Rhode Island? He's on the loose they say. What if he decided to be on this very road and he is so out of his element that he thinks I look like breakfast? Seriously. Its not that unlikely. Rhode Island is small. Ok, get your shit together. There is NO bear chasing you. I promise.

A bear, on the loose in RI? We don't have bears in RI. At least, that is what all those nature people say. So, when a wild bear is spotted, it is HUGE news.

And clearly, a bear that his made his way to Rhode Island must be incredibly disoriented, rabid, ravenous, and absolutely something I don't want to encounter. Ever.

So, as my imagination spins out of control, I find myself trying to regain composure - running all the while... now with a little more pep - and I am anxiously looking left, looking right, looking back, my mind playing little tricks on me.

I turn my iPod volume down to be more aware of my surroudings and to concentrate on my plan to avert said bear - obviously, a potential bear attack is way more likely than me getting pummeled by one of the minivans zooming down the road for which I turn my iPod volume UP.

So, quietly, I contemplate how I would escape the bear chase. I look to a tree... to realize, I was never good at climbing. I look to stone walls... thinking that I might be able to jump back and forth and tucker him out. I look to a stream... can this bear swim, I wonder. I pass a historical cemetary... almost convincing myself that I could duck behind a tombstone for safety.

As I rationalize my way into a more suburban area with houses more frequent than every 1/2 mile, I feel safe knowing that I could simply beeline to one of the houses and knock on the door. Surely they would let a stranger in who is being chased by a bear. Right?

Only then do I realize that all of the people I would run to for help... have just passed me on the road, on their way to work.

... and I have never run so fast in my life.

*Working remotely for a west coast company, I start my day later... and I also end my day later. So while the drivers may be peeved at me for borrowing some of their road, I am equally angry at them as I see them pass by my office window at 7pm when I am still working my tail off.

** You might be asking yourself why I run on this incredibly dangerous road and that is a very valid point. BUT, it is very pretty and it is a route I can run out of my house - that is a key element for my running. I am less inspired to drive to a route. But, I know... I'd be a lot less inspired to do anything if I were road kill.

***Sorry for the long ass preface but I believe good blog posts require a preface. And I had already wrote all that other shit before I got to that part. Deal with it.

FYI: APPARENTLY, bears are becoming more prevalent in our littlest state. Yet another element to prepare for on my runs.

Gaspee Days 5k - New PR

2008-06-15T20:04:00.007-04:00

I have already smashed my short lived PR, set less than 2 weeks ago.

The Gaspee Days 5k is held just before the Gaspee Days Parade which is a phenomenal parade that I attended annually as a kid and of which I have a fond appreciation.

A brief history of the event:
In June of 1772 brave colonists from Rhode Island burned the British revenue schooner, HMS Gaspee, in what has become recognized as the first overt action leading to the American Revolutionary War. Since 1965 the village of Pawtuxet, RI has commemorated this act with our annual Gaspee Days Parade.

Its a very old school, quaint New England event. And it was extremely nostalgic for me to be in this atmosphere.

The race course goes the route of the parade... which starts immediately following the race. But, because the parade is a huge community event, the spectators and blow-up-thingy vendors start staking real estate well before the race has started... thus we run through quite an audience. We are essentially the opening act. THOUGH, there is really not much policing to patrol the spectators or keep them from darting in front of runners so it is a tad bit annoying bobbing and weaving through the ignorance. But - still cool having a crowd cheer you on the entire way... and really, not much room to slack, either.

Pre-race, I met up with quite a few people I knew - namely Kev's coworker and wife who are certified competitive runners... as in they race for a second income. Both are track stars and coaches by trade... and are phenomenal runners. The husband, we'll call him Pa, has been sort of a mentor to me. He's offered me some great advice and is extremely encouraging of my improvement and dedication to the sport. The wife, let's call her Ma, was running this race (while Pa watched their 2 adorable children)... to win, naturally. And while I felt like a bit of a beefcake next to her svelt 100 pound self, it was rather inspiring to be breathing the same air. HAH!

Mel, one of my closest friends, and her madre, Dot (part of my half marathon cheering committee), were also running so we met up for some pre-race pep rallying. Mel, Dot, and I journeyed to the start line and got geared up. iPod ear buds inserted in my ears. Visor adjusted for perfect fit. Shoes laced comfortably.

Let's do this dance.

Mel and I started side-by-side but I knew that she didn't want to run with me or feel pressured so we went our separate ways very early on.

The race was actually really quick. I mean, I suppose 25 minutes really is not much time in the grand scheme of things but I think the surrounding elements and supporters were a great source of energy and distraction from the task at hand.

As I neared about mile 1.5, the first pack of elite runners started passing us, on the opposite side of the street. "Ma" was the first female I saw... I wanted to shout and scream "First female, go Ma, go" but I contained myself so not to be the psycho distraction that throws her off. She had at least 1 minute on the next girl. It was incredible and I was inspired, thinking I could run faster and more badass, so I picked it up a bit.

It was pretty fricking hot but some nice folks had sprinklers and hoses rigged to spray the runners. I normally don't partake in that because I am deathly afraid of chaffing but... seeing that it was only 3.1 miles, I dunked myself under each available spout. Refreshed.

Right before the finish (and after a pretty killer hill), I spotted Kevin in his fantastically green shirt and headed nearer his curb so I could say hi and he could smile and fuel me for my finish. Just as I was getting nearer to him and trying to poke my head up higher to get his attention (he always has trouble spotting me), some little ~~shit~~ tyke tried to beeline in front of me and so while I shouted "yo, yo" to attract Kev, Kev was completely oblivious that it was me because he was kindly protecting the runners from the kamikaze kid. He didn't even get to see me run by... damn child. (Have I mentioned lately how much I love birth control?)

Anyway, with about 200 yards to go, I heard the announcers give me a huge shout out... number 134, Sarah Blahblah, and I was amped for my finish. I was in a muck of about 20-30 people and I pulled free to sprint the remainder and was passing people left and right. Zoom. Zoom. Zoom. As I crossed the line, I was struck with the intense urge to vomit. Everywhere. But I resisted. And just focused on getting out.

Official results:
Time: 25:28
Pace: 8:12
Place: 252/591

Note: Yesterday, my results were posted as 25:28, place 252... today, my results are 25:29, place 253. ARGH!!! I am thoroughly annoyed at the timekeeping process of this race. I crossed the finish line and then got bottlenecked into a shoot, and I was not really paying attention. I thought we were done and I was just trying to breathe and find water. It was a few seconds before I realized we had to go out the shoot, where they were placing each finisher and I had casually merged with runners in front of me that I passed well before the finish line. So it is quite possible (and likely) that my official time was acutally even better... as I had clocked 25:21 on my watch... but dare I challenge the "official" time? DOH!!

But, despite the timing issue, it was a great race. One that I will put on my annual radar, for sure.

It is amazing how much I am improving. YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

ode to dad

2008-06-13T07:41:00.007-04:00

In honor of Father's Day weekend... a tribute to my Dad.

I've been blessed to have a number of father figures in my life.

I have my step father whom I've know all my life and have a great relationship with. I have my father in-law whom is just one of my favorite people on the planet. I have had a number of surrogate fathers in and out of my life - including favorite coaches and fathers of best friends.

But truly, there is only one man whom I call "Dad".
To others, he's known as Brian, B-Man, Bri, the Piano Man, Bro, BFM, and more... but to me and my brother, he's always Dad.

Though my parents got divorced when I was a young child, I was granted with an equally loving and equally responsible mother and father - two parents who, despite their seperate domains, were always there for me. Regardless if they weren't always on the same side, they never let their relationship get in the way of our well being.

My brother and I always came first... and we still do.

I vividly remember even the earliest of little league games when I was playing in a clinic league full of 5 year olds, my Dad was there, in the bleachers, cheering for me. And as I got older and merged in with the bigger kids, my Dad was there to drive me to practice, buy me lemonades, take me to tournaments, buy me new cleats... and always cheer me on.

Outside of sports, there were various extracurricular activities I dabbled in such as piano (following in his talented footsteps) and chorus and theater and school committees. And, he was there, through so many of those practices, recitals, plays, meetings, etc.

In my corner, always.

High school was no different... even as I got my license and could drive myself around. Dad was at almost every soccer game, every swim meet, and every volleyball match that I ever played. Cheering for me.

On your toes, Bim.

C'mon, Sah.

Way to be, way to be.

I hear these chants echo in my mind as I continue in my athleticism and I am constantly reminded what an amazingly supportive Father I have in my life.

Love and support do not come without discipline. Some of the greatest values I have learned in life have been taught to me by my Dad.

For much of my youth and young adulthood, my Dad was the person I turned to for all tribulations, however dramatic or simple.

When I was 15 and I wanted to know about drugs, I asked my Dad. He told me all I needed to know. When I had dramatic struggles with friends or boyfriends, I turned to my Dad. He had the answers I needed to hear... though didn't always want to hear. When I didn't know what to do with my life, where to go to school, what to be when I grew up, I went to my Dad. He had the ears to listen.

And he still does.

He has always been a huge supporter of my dreams, even when my dreams weren't always about doing what I was "supposed to do". There were times in college when I seriously contemplated taking a break and heading West to do some soul searching... er something like that. And, when I thought this would go right through him and he'd retort with some wise adage about needing to stay focused and getting through school and then pursuing dreams, he listened and encouraged me to do what was in my heart.

Clearly, he knew that these were delusions of grandeur and I would never follow through with it... turns out, 10 years later, I am still here!

Parent to child relationships differ in every family. But, very common amongst many people I know, daughters are typically more attached to their mothers. As women, we are coded to innately have that whole mother-daughter bond thing. And it is a beautiful thing. But, for many chicks, the Dad relationship is much different. There is generally love... an enormous amount of love. But - the connection and relationship is different than that of mother to daughter.

Growing up and through college, my friends always marveled at my relationship with my Dad. He is so laid back, open minded, and accepting... and it was enviable to my friends who maintained a somewhat distant yet common relationship with their fathers. For many of them, their Dad was the guy they turned to for money; the guy that scolded them when they did poorly in school; the guy that threatened knuckle headed boyfriends. Their Dad wasn't really the parent they talked to.

For me, there has always been an eye-to-eye between my Dad and me, due to the fact that... we are actually a lot alike.

As life goes on, my relationship with my Dad continues to change. It's the progression of turning into more than parent and child; its friend, confidant, and family all rolled up into one ball of jolly goodness. And, as Kev and I consider our future and the potential growing our family (with more puppies, of course), I really look forward to watching my Dad unfold into a Grandfather. Our children will be so loved, guided... and spoiled to pieces. The way it should be.

I can say with vindication that I have the most amazing father in the world. He's profound, generous, wise, and sincere... and he's MY Dad.

Happy Father's Day, Pops!